Buddha Says” You don’t have to live your life feeling bad about your past. You can let it go and finally find peace.
This is my real story!!!Just wanna tell you all, In life things get hard, You find lots of obstacles but life has to go on and, Now I believe in one thing,
”Learn From Your Past+Work Smart on Present= Make A Great Future.”
Now, I’ve been doing amazingly well. Now, I had found my way forward and that I would never feel that way again. I thought my suicidal ideation was a historical part of my existence.
But, I was wrong.
This morning, I sat in the bath watching the water trickle down from the faucet and all I could think was how easy it would be to watch the blood trickle down my arms into the water instead.
I thought of how easy it would be to drift away into nothingness. I thought of how easy it would be to not have to get up every morning to face another day of emptiness. I thought of the peace I would have if I were no longer afraid all the time and how wonderful it would be to be free from the prison of my mind.
Sometimes, I long for this.
Sometimes, I long for death.
I do not long for death itself, being cold and distant and immovable. But, I sometimes long for something other than” Who I Am? What My Purpose In This World? I long for a feeling of safety and security. I long to feel loved and cherished, not used and abused.
You know what the best thing happen ” I long to feel anything that is something more than the nothing I feel right now.
So, What Do You Want Exactly With Life?
I know what you want. I want it too. You want someone to love you, someone, to care, someone to tell you everything will be fine. You want someone to tell you that even if you aren’t perfect, you’re enough just you are. You want someone to care, and it seems as if there is no amount of caring that will fill the empty hole in your heart, and no matter how hard you try to fill it up yourself it only goes halfway and then starts slipping back to empty.
Every day seems a struggle for survival. Every day you wake up and wonder, ” How much longer can I go on?
The emptiness that fills your heart and soul begins to take over your rationality.
At some point, the things that kept you going have become meaningless. The life you have lived for so many years was just a struggle to survive. Today you are at a point where nothing means anything. You aren’t even in pain. You feel nothing. You want to give up. You want to no longer exist. You want to stop being. The endless negative thoughts swirl around in your brain compelling you to end everything. The hope for the future subsidies to a dulling ache keeping you going every day.
We Blame On Things Not Going Right, But We Incapable To Get Off The Couch And Get Outside.
Reason Why Life Has To Go On-
Sometimes feels like Shit, I don’t know why I don’t give up sometimes. Most days I want to give up. But, the human spirit is powerful. The desire to live is a stronger held need that keeps you in this world.
You Know, There is only one reason I don’t give up.
There is only one belief that sits in the back of my mind that keeps me going day after day.
What My Belief Says?
There is always something that I hope for. I hope for change. I hope for strength. I hope for love. I hope for caring. I hope a great future for my friends and family, I hope that things won’t always be as they have been.
Hope, My Folks, is the only thing keeping me, and probably you, alive.
What Does Hope Mean To Me?
To me ‘Hope’ means constantly seeking a new way. It means looking deep inside to find what exactly it is that seems lacking.