”Why Do I Feel I Don’t Know Myself Anymore..?”


”I don’t fear death so much as I fear its prologues: loneliness, decrepitude, pain, debilitation, depression, senility. After a few years of those, I imagine death presents as a holiday at the beach.”

Hello Folks, I am reaching out to anyone there who suffers from anxiety, unwanted thoughts and depression like me.

I feel like I am living in a dark hole and that nothing good ever comes into my life anymore.

My unwanted thoughts are robbing me from having a good and well-maintained life, I am stressing myself out for no reason and I don’t know what to do, I am so scared and when I look into what long-term anxiety can do to the body I burst into tears.

I had a fear of death for quite some time last year and as of the last December, I had a very bad incident of little hours of sleep in a week.


”A big part of depression is feeling really lonely, even if you’re in a room full of a million peoples.”

It was so bad that I was drinking to pass out but of course, that makes me SO MUCH WORSE! I have been okay with being able to sleep but it’s only because I have taken something to make me sleepy and then the next day I am drowsy and spacey. I am always thinking about fearing of not been able to sleep, it’s so bad that I don’t work anymore, I don’t plan any events with anyone or even see anyone because I panic about not been rested… I wanted to make music with the humblest person I know but because of this fear, I no longer get involved in music anymore.

I just can’t seem to get my mind of this and it’s destroying everyday, I just do the same thing everyday feeling sorry for myself and crying so much it makes my head hurt.



Another important twist is that people can feel sad, even intensely sad, without depression being involved. When people experience a loss, they usually feel sad, but don’t necessarily feel depressed. Sadness and depression have similarities, but they have some important differences.

When people are sad and express their sadness, they feel better, whereas when people are depressed, expressing their pain may not give them relief.

When people are sad and express their sadness, they feel better, whereas when people are depressed, crying and expressing their pain may not give them relief. Sadness doesn’t involve mean thoughts about oneself or hopeless or suicidal thoughts, but depression often does. Sadness doesn’t involve distortion in perception, or loss of perspective, whereas depression usually does. Finally, sadness doesn’t interfere with feeling other emotions, while depression often prevents a range of specific emotions.

In my experience, most people who are depressed have some sense that something is wrong, and if they don’t, people around them usually do. It really doesn’t matter whether suffering fits neatly into the DSM diagnosis for depression or not.

It’s not necessary to diagnose yourself or your loved ones. If you or someone you love is suffering, get professional help to assess what is causing the suffering and what would help relieve it.



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12 thoughts on “”Why Do I Feel I Don’t Know Myself Anymore..?””

  1. I can’t help but ask… have YOU gotten professional help? Medicine? It may not make you 101% better but it sure can help. Clinging to God can sure help as well. Even if it means someone holding you tight as those tears come out, it’s far better than going through it alone. Believe me, I know.

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    1. Ya at a time I went for professional help and counselling, It helped me alot… to deal with emotions which were troubling me getting back to life.. as at last, it helped me ..and now i just want to help people who are going through it..Thanks Keep Reading


  2. Yeah definitely going through what you’re talking about. Mine comes with constantly thinking I’m sick and making myself loose sleep… and you know you’ve been here before but you dont know the right words to get yourself out. Ultimately I’ve found something else to obsess about so the sleep is getting better I guess.. it’s helpful when I feel like my family is here to support me even though sometimes I feel physically sick sometimes. Just remain hopeful cuz that’s all we really have. These are the Times when our faith is most important. I’m trying to separate my self from my thoughts and stay positive. It also helps when I’m actively doing something to make myself feel better.


    1. At Last its life we need to learn and accept things as it sometime 🙂 keep reading and take care dear


  3. It’s funny; the same thing Is currently happening. But mine comes with me constantly thinking I’m sick. It’s helpful when I can talk to my family and knowing they validate my feelings when I’m feeling physically sick. The insomnia I guess is getting as my mind has found a new thing to obsess about. We have to hang on to hope its now specially our faith is important. Sometimes it’s frustrating cuz i know I’ve been here but I don’t know the right words to change my perspective.

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    1. I do know its hard …but we have to hang on hope … with the hope, we find a meaning in living our life.. And remember have faith because time wont remain same all the time..after every dark night there is a light of day giving you hope to live.. take care keep reading 🙂


  4. Dear Friend, I am so so sorry to hear that you feel this way. I understand what you are feeling to some extent, however, I cannot say that I understand it all. I know that you want brighter days, I know that you want hope. I too do not have the answers, and I too experience pain and anxiety. However, I have found that faith in God works. God is the author and finisher of all things, and all things work for the best for those who love the Lord. If you commit yourself and your life into God’s hands, and you pray everyday, God will hear you. Our heavenly Father is merciful, and there is a real joy in being in his presence. If you do not yet have a relationship with God, I will suggest that you begin one.

    God made a promise in Jeremiah 29:11, he said
    “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’

    Trust in God’s words, and have faith that these words were intended for you, and will be made manifest in your life.

    If you want to know about God in more detail, you can find further information here https://christcenteredruminations.wordpress.com/2018/10/23/a-few-things-that-i-have-learned-about-god/ And Here https://christcenteredruminations.wordpress.com/2018/08/29/how-to-build-a-relationship-with-god/

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