”Letting Go Of What You Want Is The Only Way To Get It.”

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“Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between effort and surrender.” ~Danielle Orner

Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what’s past. “We’re living in a world that contributes in a major way to mental fragmentation, disintegration, distraction, decoherence. We’re always doing something, and we allow little time to practice stillness and calm.

When we’re at work, we fantasize about being on vacation; on vacation, we worry about the work piling up on our desks. We dwell on intrusive memories of the past or fret about what may or may not happen in the future. We don’t appreciate the living present because our “monkey minds,” as Buddhists call them, vault from thought to thought like monkeys swinging from tree to tree.

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Most of us don’t undertake our thoughts in awareness. Rather, our thoughts control us. “Ordinary thoughts course through our mind like a deafening waterfall,”,  In order to feel more in control of our minds and our lives, to find the sense of balance that eludes us, we need to step out of this current, to pause, and, as  to “rest in stillness—to stop doing and focus on just being.”

We need to live more at the moment. Living in the moment—also called mindfulness—is a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present. When you become mindful, you realize that you are not your thoughts; you become an observer of your thoughts from moment to moment without judging them. Mindfulness involves being with your thoughts as they are, neither grasping at them nor pushing them away. Instead of letting your life go by without living it, you awaken to experience.

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Cultivating a nonjudgmental awareness of the present bestows a host of benefits. Mindfulness reduces stress, boosts immune functioning, reduces chronic pain, lowers blood pressure, and helps patients cope with cancer. By alleviating stress, spending a few minutes a day actively focusing on living in the moment reduces the risk of heart disease. Mindfulness may even slow the progression of HIV.

Mindful people are happier, more exuberant, more empathetic, and more secure. They have higher self-esteem and are more accepting of their own weaknesses. Anchoring awareness in the here and now reduces the kinds of impulsivity and reactivity that underlie depression, binge eating, and attention problems. Mindful people can hear negative feedback without feeling threatened. They fight less with their romantic partners and are more accommodating and less defensive. As a result, mindful couples have more satisfying relationships.

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Mindfulness is at the root of Buddhism, Taoism, and many Native-American traditions, not to mention yoga.

“Everyone agrees it’s important to live in the moment, but the problem is how,” says Ellen Langer, a psychologist at Harvard and author of Mindfulness. “When people are not in the moment, they’re not there to know that they’re not there.” Overriding the distraction reflex and awakening to the present takes intentionality and practice.

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Living in the moment involves a profound paradox: You can’t pursue it for its benefits. That’s because the expectation of reward launches a future-oriented mindset, which subverts the entire process. Instead, you just have to trust that the rewards will come. There are many paths to mindfulness—and at the core of each is a paradox. Ironically, letting go of what you want is the only way to get it.

”Crazy Grief”

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”Grief is never something you get over. You don’t wake up one morning and say, ‘I’ve conquered that; now I’m moving on.’ It’s something that walks beside you every day. And if you can learn how to manage it and honor the person that you miss, you can take something that is incredibly sad and have some form of positivity.”

Terri Irwin

The irony is, when you are in the throws of grief you may really struggle to find the beauty and the joy in life and it may be quite unlikely that you would stop and admire the beauty of a rainbow or the vastness of an ocean. Those who cannot relate to these images begin to worry, what’s wrong with me that I don’t have such a Zen perspective? The inability to derive joy from things that were once pleasurable can feel a lot like depression and it can be frightening.

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Don’t worry you’re still not crazy. These are normal feelings. I know because I’ve experienced my own grief and I know because I’ve heard hundreds of other grievers talk about the same types of experiences.  (If you’re worried that you are actually experiencing a psychological disorder like depression, anxiety, or PTSD.

You’ve probably heard people say, ‘the first year is the hardest’, this is sometimes true.  Quite often, the second year is no picnic either, but at some point, things should get easier. The intense and unrelenting distress of acute grief will be replaced by less frequent moments of sadness, anger, and frustration. You will still have bad days, but you will know things are getting better when those days are outnumbered by ‘okay’ days.

This does not mean you are ‘getting over it’, moving on, or forgetting. An important part of healing is discovering the role your loved one will play in your life after their death. Of course at first, you hold on very tight, afraid if you let go your loved one will disappear completely. You hold on to items (not crazy), you leave rooms untouched (not crazy), you pay their cell phone bill so you can continue to hear their voice on their voicemail (not crazy). These things are not crazy and you may continue to do some of them forever, but some you will eventually let go of as your grip slowly loosens and you realize that nothing short of amnesia could make you really let go.

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And slowly…slowly…the faded colors of life become more vibrant. The world unthaws and you start to find beauty peeking through in places you would never have expected it. Your season of grief has left you weary but stronger. You know you will never be the same and you begin to accept that you must integrate your loved one and your experiences and continue to live…a little bit wary, a little bit wise, and a little bit crazy.

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”Reshimo- “Who In The World Am I? ”

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“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” …

Why are we living in this world?—Every child asks this question beginning around the age of five, and this is because within us is found a Reshimo (reminiscence), a spiritual gene that must be developed. It pushes us from within.

This gene, this desire, requires fulfillment, an answer to the question, “What are we living for? What is the meaning of life?” Later, we forget this question, and in our pursuit of life, we no longer return to it since we don’t have time to think about it and regard it as a useless thought.

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However, we see that this question constantly draws our attention in all kinds of situations throughout our lives, and considering how many people are in despair, get divorced, need drugs, and require antidepressants, we see that in spite of everything, this question still is very strong.

This gene is planted in us because at the end of our development, our evolution, we need to reach a state in which all of us ask the question, “What are we living for?” Why live?” “What is the meaning of life?”

It is possible to ask this question in another way: “Why does nature, which is so perfect and purposeful, create a person with such great potential, but leave him without an answer to the questions of how to build one’s life,  and what to achieve in life?”

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We see what tremendous wisdom is latent in every cell, in everybody, in the connection between us, and we see how much information we haven’t yet discovered! However, even from what we have discovered with the help of science, we see such a wonderful wisdom hidden in all of this rich mechanism, and yet, we who are at the summit of this science, at its peak, don’t see any meaning in our lives. How is such a thing possible? Without a doubt, there is a purpose to our existence, but we don’t know what it is and we need to discover it.

”Death Is Waiting For Us Anyways; Why Call On It Before Our Time?

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”I think my mother… made it clear that you have to live life by your own terms and you have to not worry about what other people think and you have to have the courage to do the unexpected.”

Caroline Kennedy

What Is Life?

LIFE is an invitation to learn, a school. We can learn something from every moment, good or bad.

LIFE is not static, it’s in constant movement, much like the waves of the ocean. Each wave that comes brings with it new experiences, and each one is different. So just like the bad ones can sometimes show no mercy, the good ones also come and refresh us. Nothing last forever.

LIFE is a gift; some beings (children) depart too soon and don’t have the fortune to know life. Those who have it should enjoy it.

LIFE is not only our own. It also belongs to those who surround us. We should take care of ourselves because we are important to others, even when sometimes we are not aware of that.

Each new day is a new experience. If we don’t live it, we don’t know what we’re missing.

We are the designers of our LIFE; it is our challenge to find beauty when just the opposite happens. It is possible and also brings rewards.

We all live through experiences that leave scars. However, there is always someone to give us a hand during those difficult times. The important thing is to accept that help. This is a lesson in and of itself.

Making an effort and dealing with problems makes us aware of how strong we really are. Therefore, all those things that upset us, are not so that we become weak, but so that we understand ourselves better and get to know who we really are.

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To LIVE is to discover something about ourselves of which we were not aware.

To LIVE is to look at ourselves in the mirror and discover a message of love in our own eyes.

To LIVE is to allow ourselves to fall in love, with someone, with something, or with life itself.

If death gives meaning to life, then consider it, but in order to learn to live better.

Death is waiting for us anyways; why call on it before our time?

Sometimes depression does not let us see the beauty of life.

”Life Is A Crazy RollerCoster”

 

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”The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.”

Life is a beautiful journey. It’s up to you to make the best of it!

We were born on this Earth with a destiny. We can try to shape it the way we want, but some things simply cannot be changed.

Nevertheless, once we understand some simple things about life, we have the opportunity to live relaxing, wonderful moments every day.

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FAMILY is more important than anything:-

I’ve learned at an early age that family is the most important thing in life. Professional accomplishments come and go, friends can’t always be by your side, but your mum and dad will always be there when you need them.

And if one day they leave this Earth, you will understand that we all have a destiny written in the stars and cannot do anything about it.

As long as you have your family near you and can’t imagine your life without it, be sure to make the best of every moment you spend with your dear ones. Someday you will realize that these happy little moments were the most beautiful of your life.

 HEALTH is a key ingredient for your happiness:-

We all live our life by setting different goals. We want so many things that we don’t realize how time seems to fly by as we try to live our life to the fullest. People only wish for one thing: to be healthy again in order to live a quiet life with the persons they love.

We tend to forget the importance of health until we get sick or someone we love gets sick.

Without health, nothing else matters. We need health to enjoy every moment near our loved ones so make sure that your lifestyle doesn’t damage your health.

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SMILE even when your heart is aching:-

Whether you’re in pain or not, the world won’t stop and you need to go on with your life. Can you think of a better way to celebrate life and the happy moments than by smiling?

Smile and the entire world will smile with you!

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FRIENDS and YOUR SOUL MATE are important too. Without them, you feel incomplete:-

Surround yourself with beautiful people, people you have things in common with, people who love you just the way you are, people you love, people who always make you smile.

Never stop looking for your soul mate. It’s somewhere out there and you will find him. Never lose faith and hope. You deserve to be happy, just like everybody else.

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 Do something that really makes you happy every day:-

We can’t have fun forever. We also need to work and sometimes do things we don’t really enjoy. Make sure you spend a few minutes every day (maybe an entire hour) by doing something you really enjoy, even if it’s writing, running, chatting with your friends, reading, etc.

May you live a fulfilling life! & Dad Once Again Happy Birthday 🙂

Sleep Hack: ”A Simple Strategy For Better Rest In Less Time”

 

How to sleep better?

Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom. 

Desperate to enjoy a better rest, yet keen to reduce the number of hours you sleep?

When it comes to sleep, we’re own worst enemy. There’s always something that ranks higher on the scale than sleep. But the truth is, our choices are killing us. From long-term health to daily bodily functions to simple happiness, how much sleep we get (or don’t get) every night affects us innumerable ways. We can’t cut corners on sleep and not have it affect us.

When your mom told you to “sleep on it,” or to “get your beauty sleep,” she wasn’t kidding. A lot of what we know about the basics of sleep is common sense – but is it possible to hack a good night’s sleep? To fool your body into feeling better when the night before was less than stellar?

If you’re struggling through your day, sleep-deprived and grumpy, try these sleep hacks to navigate your way through your day. And then plan to get to bed early tonight!

We sleep for 26 years in total, so the ultimate productivity hack is undeniably improving our quality of sleep. Imagine if all your life, you thought breathing was best accomplished by inhaling through a straw. Improve your waking life by invalidating misconceptions; it’s that simple.

You’ll relate to this: You look at your alarm clock. It says 4:36AM. You’ve been trying to go to bed for the past 2 hours, and the longer you’re awake, the more you worry about having to properly “wake up” at 6:00AM. You can’t sleep because you’re stressed from being awake, and you can’t wake because you’re stressed from lack of sleep. We’ve all had nights like this.

 it’s almost a competition to see who can function the best with as little sleep as possible. Information overload is a very real problem in the 21st century. Sleep debt is getting even worse among the Millennial generation, and the alarm function on most smartphones is an inadequate solution.

Many studies have emerged that show the harmful effects of not getting a good night’s rest. Our bedtime is now measured by how long it takes us to get bored of browsing the internet. Side effects include anxiety, depression, irritability, poor health, and arguing over who snores the loudest.

So in an ever-connected world, how can we get a good night’s rest consistently?

How can we minimize the number of hours we sleep and get a better quality of sleep?

What are some different sleeping techniques? What if I can’t sleep?

The key to sleeping is to aim for quality, not quantity.

Environmental Factors

This is the easiest modifier and can have the greatest impact on the sleep-wake cycle. My bedroom, unfortunately, faces south, so every morning, I wake up to the sun glaring through my shades. We’re naturally meant to wake with the sun hitting our faces. It sets our internal clock and prepares us for the day as nature intended.

Light Psychology

This is why we’ve seen an appearance of specialized dawn simulators that exploit the role of the sun in circadian rhythm regulation. These clocks work by emitting a bright light in excess of 200 lux, which tricks us into thinking it is morning. Within a few days to a week, your body will start to wake up before the alarm itself actually goes off.

Just as there is artificial light, logically, there is artificial dark. If your sleep schedule has you waking up after the sun rises—delayed sleep phase disorder—then consider wearing a sleeping mask.

Wavelength of Light

Finally, the Psychology of light can be boiled down to its wavelength (color).

Blue is a terrible wavelength to be absorbing during the day; it’s just too calming. Likewise, warmer colors in the red spectrum are terrible for night-time browsing (unless you’re trying to stay awake).

This hack can be common sense, i.e., don’t paint your bedroom red, but this approach is a little more comprehensive than that. The color temperature of your backlit monitor affects your circadian rhythm. As you browse Facebook, Twitter, WordPress, and Tumblr, all you see is blue!

Humidity

Apart from light, one might consider the humidity in the ambient air temperature. Remember how mom would always bring the Humidifier out of the closet whenever you were sick as a child? Well, why only use it when we’re sick? Especially in the winter time when you’re running the heater quite a bit, it tends to zap the humidity out of the air. This means your nostrils might become dry thus effectively making your body more susceptible to inhaling a virus. This is because the tiny hair follicles in our nose need to be wet in order to catch the viruses/bacteria we might inhale.

If you’re breathing in air with moisture, it helps your lungs and your breathing throughout the night.

Habits

There is only so much we can modify in our environment to make our sleep a little better. The largest part has to do with ourselves and the things we do leading up to sleep. We need to make quality sleep hygiene just as routine as brushing our teeth before bed

DO Figure out how to Stop Your Mind from Racing

This is one of the biggest drivers to people staying up at night. Ever go to bed and you can’t stop thinking? You can’t stop worrying or wondering what is going to happen tomorrow?

This is a form of anxiety that we all have but very few seem to recognize. This is partly why meditation is so important because it teaches you not only the awareness factor that this is occurring but also the tools you need to be able to tell yourself “NO.”

Make a conscious effort to stop your mind from racing and focus on a single thing, whether that is counting your breaths or the number of sheep in the sky.

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Now, I could call these supplements, but it’s important to recognize that these so-called supplements are just as many drugs as any other traditional kind of pharmaceutical and should be used with caution.

”Life’s Too Short To Be Busy All The Time”

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”It’s very important to take care of yourself. Everyone’s lives are so busy. Take at least an hour a day to recharge and do whatever makes you better. For grown-ups, whether it’s a spa, sitting in a park with a book, or coffee, take time for yourself.”

Ana Ivanovic

I think you’re a liar. You may not be a liar, but I suspect you could be. I’m also a liar, at least I think I used to be. What makes both of us liars is we constantly say we’re too busy. I’ve learned over the years that too busy is simply code word for either not interested or simply a means of not being able to manage your life correctly because you’re lazy. Therefore, you’re either a lazy liar who cannot manage your life correctly or you’re simply not interested.

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Still with me or insulted at this point? The last thing a writer needs to do is insult his audience. I’m here to offer an awakening because I fell culprit to the too busy syndrome and getting out of it gave me the potential to become aware, productive, and happy. It made me a human again.

I can easily relate this topic to exercise as a means of showing that too busy is a poor excuse to not work out. As it turns out, being too busy isn’t just a poor excuse to not work out, but rather a poor excuse in all facets of life.

Previously, I used to think the idea of being busy was cool. It showed me a great sense of confidence that I was wanted and requested by others. Being busy was a vanity thing. Telling clients how busy you are and how you don’t have any time for their requests is a means of winning their business because human nature is to want something we cannot have.

I would go whenever and wherever they wanted me and I’d give each of them their very own hour — sometimes more. I was miserable and in turn, professional service was compromised. I realized busy was not good.

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I realized life is too short to be busy. When you’re not busy, you have more time to think and play. More time to exchange ideas and experiences with friends and family. In turn, professional service for clients is never compromised.

Busy is just a false facade based on lies, laziness, and mismanagement that restricts performance and limits your mental capacity.

I know this because I experienced it. I claimed to be so busy that I had no control over my time. I used busy as a means of showing confidence I lacked to demonstrate to people that I really am worth it. And I used busy at the expense of limiting my professional performance with clients.

I’ve realized that it is only when you eliminate the idea of being too busy that you can finally open the door to being happy. Eliminating busy means you’re in absolute control of your life and your time management skills. Most importantly, you regain self-worth and confidence without using the word busy as a confidence-booster. Eliminating busy means you’ve got time to finally think and develop both personally and professionally.

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My idle time is more valuable than a busy time. When I’m not working, I don’t think about fitness, or in our analogy, lemonades and souvenirs. Idle time is time away from busy. It’s time for what makes me happy whether it’s time with friends or driving to a place I’ve never been.

A wise friend recently said to me, “Life is not something that happens to us, it is only responding to us.” Stop fooling yourself because you’re not really busy. You may be lazy and lacking confidence. You may also be a liar. But busy is something you’re probably not. You just need a better approach to managing everything — one that will give you ample time for all the things you really wanted to do including regular exercise.