First Lets Explore what is the difference between Relationship, Needs, And Desires.
* What is a Good Relationship?
A Good Relationship has-
# Encourage growth and change,
# Forgive quickly and truly,
# Accepting Things,
# Show Your Feelings,
# Never Expecting Anything Back.
So Why Trust?You have to trust your Partner. Why would you share your life with someone when you think they’re doing something wrong every time you turn your back? If you don’t trust your partner to be faithful, honest, caring or anything else, then you’re not in a good relationship. The Best Relationships begin with a deep trust, and even if problems come up(and they will)!! , the trust is strong enough to keep you together.
A Good Relationship Encourage growth and change-In a good relationship, both partners are encouraged to grow and change. You have one life to live- You should explore it to the fullest!! If you want to quit your job and go back to school, your partner should support you. If you want to try something new or go back to something old, you should find support in your relationship. And you should give these support in return. Encourage your partner to explore hobbies and interests and meet new people. If you want your partner to stay the same, you’re going to have a very boring life together.
Boring Life Together… I Know Nobody Wants That!!!!
Learn to Forgive quickly and truly-Whenever you have a fight, don’t worry about who is going to win or lose. Learn from the fight- from what was said as much as from how it was resolved. Once you learn from a fight, you can apply that lesson to your relationship to avoid trouble later. That’s all well and good, but you’re not done!! Forgive Your Partner!!Forgive Yourself. The Fight is over, you’re past it, now let it go. Never hold anything against your partner, because the resentment will build until you don’t want to be with them.
Sometimes You Can Only Accept Things, Not Fix Them-People have baggage. You have some. Your partner has some. Can you go back and erase all of this? Nope!! You’re stuck with it and have to learn to deal with it. Some things are easier to get over than others, but the reality is that sometimes, you can’t fix things. You can make problems go away. You have to accept it and get over it and move on, or else your relationship will crumble.
Show Your Feelings To Your Partner-The worst thing you can do in a relationship is play games. Don’t tease your partner; don’t “reward” good deeds with love and affection. You have to make sure your partner always feels loved. You can be happy with them or be mad at them- it doesn’t matter- they just need to feel loved. They need to know your feelings in the moment as well, don’t get me wrong. But make sure you’re showing your feelings in a way so they won’t be misunderstood.
The Best Thing In Relationship Is Never Expecting Anything Back In Return-Don’t expect your partner to read your mind, or to bring you breakfast in bed, or to offer to wash the dishes. It’s not going to happen. You can’t expect anything from anyone- You have to make your desires known. Communicate. Make sure your partner knows what you expect from the relationship, as well as your options for a wide variety of issues. This will help them act considerate towards you, But still- don’t expect anything back in return!!!!
So Then What Turn To Be A Bad Relation Than!!!!!
# Being Satisfied With Unsatisfactory Relationship,
# Negativity about love,
# Relation As Investment,
Being Satisfied With Unsatisfactory Relationship-In a recent research exploring women’s decisions about whether to stay in or to leave their relationships, the single most important determinant of women’s decisions to remain in their relationships was relationship satisfaction. How can we be satisfied with unsatisfactory relationships? Some individual, especially those with low self-esteem or those who perceive themselves to be less attractive, have low ”comparison levels”. Comparison level can be thought of as your ”standards,” or what you expect to receive from a relationship. Individuals with low comparison level, you may maintain a bad relationship because your low expectations are being met. Individuals with low self-esteem are more likely to become involved in a relationship which is of shorter duration, and they experience further declines in self Esteem when their relationship end.
Negativity about love-Psychologists distinguish among three different components of attitude; the cognitive components or thoughts, the effective component or feelings, and the behavioral component or actions. Frequently these components are not aligned with one another. For example, in the case of a bad relationship, your thoughts may be negative, telling you that your partner is not good for you, but your feelings may still be positive. We may continue to love our partners, even though we consciously recognize that we are involved in bad relationships. It is also possible that strong positive and negative feelings toward a partner my co-exist.
Relation As Investment-Other major obstacles to leaving a bad relationship includes our shared investments with our partners. Investing a lot of time in a relationship or sharing investment, such as a home or children, makes couples more likely to stay together.When we have already invested a lot of time, effort or resources in a relationship, many of us continue that investment even when it may not be best for us; we are biased toward continuing unhappy relationships once we have invested in them. When making relationship decisions, we often rely on emotions rather than rational deliberation which leads to staying in the bad relationship.
Manipulation In Relationships:-If your partner is aware that you want to leave the relationship, he or she may use different methods of manipulation to force you to stay. Emotional manipulation, such as belittling, demanding, or even threats of violence against future alternative partners, may be used to maintain the current relationship. Men with lower self- esteem, as well as men who are less physically attractive than their partners, may be more likely to use manipulation to prevent their partners from leaving their relationships. The distress associated with emotional abuse or the physical implications of intimate partner violence are strong deterrents to those seeking to leave a relationship.
So, What is the difference between our need and desires in ”Relationships”?
Our need reflects our humanity and is common to all of us.
Some needs we literally cannot live without, like air, water, and food. Some are most important for our emotional well-beings like acceptance and love, some our spirituals well-beings like the need for space and inspiration. Whatever the need without it our quality of life would be significantly worse off. The value we place on different needs make us unique but the underlying need for them is universal.
Our Desires Reflects Our Individual Uniqueness.
They are what we choose in our lives that say’ this is who we are. ‘ Our Desires are things we can survive without yet they are important aspects of how we experience, express and create our reality. The list of potential desires is as endless and varied as is the human race. Our Desires come in two different forms, desires that serve simply ourselves and desires that serve ourselves whilst benefitting others and the world around us.
Our Needs And Desires Are The Place In Relationship Where We Find Both Challange And Opportunity.
It’s not our partner’s obligation to fulfill our needs and desires, or ours to fulfill our partner’s. We commit to being together and supporting each other in whatever way we can, this is what builds love. Sharin each other’s desires brings creativity, aliveness, and growth.