”It’s Over – How to Shut Down an On-Again, Off-Again Relationship”

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“I keep on fallin’ in and out of love with you. Sometimes I love ya, sometimes you make me blue. Sometimes I feel good, at times I feel used. Lovin’, you darlin’ makes me so confused.” 

I’m going to be completely honest and let you in on whether or not it’s healthy for you to have an on again, off again relationship.

Not only am I going to give you the lowdown on this, I’m also going to give you a few things to consider when this situation occurs. So if you’re experiencing this first hand, or if you know someone who is, then sit back and take notes.

I’ll get straight to the point: If you’re dating someone and he or she constantly messes up, never improves and never changes his or her ways (even though he or she stressed time and time again that he or she would), then yes, you are in an unhealthy relationship.

At the end of the day, when it comes to this kind of relationship, you have to be real with yourself and consider the following.

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Why do you continue to go back to this person:-

“Because I love him/her” becomes rather obsolete after the first couple of breakups, so you shouldn’t rest your future choices on this excuse.

I’m sure you’re familiar with the old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” This basically states that if you haven’t learned from your mistakes the first time, then you never will.

I just discovered the third part of this saying, which is, “Fool me three times, I’m just foolish.”

There comes a point in your relationship where you actually are fully aware that the choice you’re making is not necessarily the right one. And yet you continue to make it and experience the aftermath.

This is something that cannot be explained logically. You make the decision because of the feeling you get when you’re with this person. Because you cannot imagine the feeling that feeling without him or her.

In the end, it all boils down to this one question:

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Do you love yourself:-

Do you love yourself enough to believe there is a better relationship out there for you? do you love yourself enough to pull yourself away from an unhealthy environment?

Do you love yourself enough to give yourself the love and respect you deserve to have? most importantly, do you love yourself more than you love him/her?

The on/off relationship is an unhealthy setting because there is no growth towards anything (deeper love, deeper trust, taking the next step in your relationship, growing yourself to be better, etc.).

I mean, think about it: When was the last time you actually gained anything good from taking your partner back?

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The best thing for you to do at this point is to end the relationship, once and for all:-

Remember, if you continue to find reasons to separate from this person, then why do you find reasons to take him or her back?

This often happens because women don’t realize they are worthy of receiving something better. Instead, they tend to “settle” on what is and think this kind of treatment is all they are worth having. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Strongly consider the other options you have when you’re faced with a yo-yo relationship. One of those options is you might actually live a better life without this person; the other option is you might actually find someone better.

Do not allow your emotions to lead you down a road you’re going to regret later on. Whatever decision you choose to make, make sure the result of that choice is going to bring you peace and love in your life.

Anything outside of that is no good; it’s a complete waste of your time.

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”Beauty Is Always In The Eye Of The Beholder”

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”Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that’s when you’re most beautiful.”
Zoe Kravitz
Go and tell yourself that you are beautiful. And that your life is so worth living. 
Take a fair look in the mirror. Just have a look at you for a little while. Look at you as if you
were another person. Just someone you never knew. And then go tell yourself in every honesty,
that you are lovely even when you’re blue. Just go and tell yourself that you are quite ok.
And please repeat these words in every single way.
Go and tell yourself that you are beautiful.
Every minute, every hour, and every brand-new day. Please have look at you,
you as a person are ok. With all the pros and cons you’ll see.
And if you’ll fail, just do not care, and start another day.
Just take it to step by step,
by repeating it as many times as you can say. Again, again and just again. 
So many times, each day, Until the final wake-up call
that makes you finally see, ‘I am the best one in the world. At least I am, to me’

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Why do we want to be perfect? What is it, perfection? Is it a beauty? Is it having a very balanced personality, without any negative emotion like anger or sadness? Like horrific things never will occur in one’s life? Would that be perfect?

Can we please just agree that beauty is a state of mind what has nothing in common with the outer appearance of someone or something. Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. And the physical beauty itself will fade away as life goes on. When someone gets older, the inner beauty will become more and more visible. Beauty really has nothing to do with our physical appearance, but everything about the way we live and the way we maintain our relationships with the world around us.

Beauty has nothing to do with a required reaction to something nasty in your life. Your emotions are real and you have every reason to respect them and to feel them. And you have every reason to be respected in every way.  Repeat that you are beautiful until you are feeling better.

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I just want to support all people who are struggling with their bodies, struggling with their self-acceptance and self-esteem, and who are still believing the ridiculous demands of today’s society.

Just believe that only one thing is true: you are ok! And you deserve to feel beautiful. Because you are.

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“I’m Beautiful”

You are beautiful because beauty comes from within. You’re beautiful regardless of what everyone else thinks of you because it only matters what you think of yourself. You’re beautiful because you are made out of stardust and there’s nothing more beautiful than that. You’re beautiful because everything about you is beautiful its self. Your smile lights up the world, your kind heart
makes the world a better place and your mind is limitless.

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“I’m Intelligent”

You are smart because you know what truly matters in life. You are bright because you’re hopeful. You are sharp because you know when to draw the line. You are wise because you learn from your mistakes, you are always improving yourself. You take responsibility for your own actions and you are brave enough to apologize when you are wrong. You are intelligent
because you pick your battles. You are intelligent because you treat everyone as your equal.

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 “I’m Powerful”

You are stronger than you think you are. You grew up at a young age and that made you the person you are today. You know your worth and no one can take that away from you. And you fight for what you deserve, your standards and your dreams. You are powerful because you understand that real power relies on love and kindness, not in hate and violence. You are powerful because you use your voice softly. You are powerful because you know who you are and you know what you need to do so you can get where you want. You are powerful because you are unstoppable. And you are powerful because you don’t need anyone.

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“I’m Enough”

You are enough just the way you are. You don’t need to change who you are to please others. You don’t need to speak less so someone can like you more. You don’t need to change your interests or dreams to match someone else’s. The right people in life will not try to change you. They will love you for who you are and they will accept you with your flaws, imperfections, and shortcomings. You don’t need to alter your beliefs and lifestyle so you can be someone’s right match. You need to own who you are. And you need to always choose self-improvement because although you are enough, you are work in progress.

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“I’m Loved”

Whether you believe it or not, you are loved. Your parents love you even if they are not that good at showing it. Your friends adore you although sometimes you feel like they are critical of you or hard on you. But, they are like that because of how much they love you and how much they want you to succeed. Your partner loves you even if they don’t tell you or show you enough. Your coworkers enjoy your company and think that you are invaluable. Look around, because love is all around you.

It doesn’t make sense to call ourselves ugly because we don’t really see ourselves.

We don’t watch ourselves sleeping in bed, curled up and silent with chests rising and falling with our own rhythm.

We don’t see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing.

You don’t see yourself looking at someone with love and care inside of your heart.

There’s no mirror in your way when you’re laughing and smiling and happiness is leaking out of you.

You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly yourself.

”The Art of Pain: Why the Dark Times Make Life Beautiful”

giphy“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

There is not one person who will avoid some sort of struggle or hardship in life. In fact, there are things that happen in life that often shake us to our very core.

The essential nature of being alive and being human is to experience life in its purest form — the wins and losses, celebrations and challenges, and the good with the bad.

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Some of these experiences are not favorable. We might be in pain, physically or emotionally — we hurt. Often we feel betrayed by life itself, we feel it is unfair and questions why we have to go through these struggles.

What we don’t realize is that these struggles are a gift from life itself. When we come face to face with a struggle, a low point in life, be it an illness, a relationship breakdown or financial ruin, at the time we are lost in darkness.

I know what it is like to be lost in the abyss of darkness with no slither of hope of any light shining through.

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You can’t see your way out of it, let alone focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. Some refer to this as the “dark night of the soul” — I call it the emergence of the soul. It is in this place that your soul speaks to you and you begin to realize that you are not your circumstances, but something far greater.

Everything you are going through, every struggle, pain or hardship, is actually a gift. It is a gift because it is in the struggle that you are brought to your knees, where you question the purpose of your life. It is a gift because it asks you to go deeper into yourself and find the gold of who you are.

The common saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” has a very profound truth to it. What you overcome in life makes you richer in every way. When you are in that dark place looking for a way out of your hardship, you are faced with two choices: give up or tap into the inner resources that you didn’t even know you had, and come through it stronger and more humble than you were before.

Life never hands out things that you can’t handle. How you approach it will determine how you come through the other side. You can assume the victim role and feel sorry for yourself, or you can reach into the essence of who you are and find your inner strength. Then demand the self-worth and ability to rise up and meet your challenges heart on. You need to believe you can do this — you are powerful, you are amazing and you are inspirational!

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I am sure you have heard many stories of people saying that they feel blessed to have gone through their hardship as this defines who they are today. This is not something that people just say, this is something they know.

Through darkness comes light, through fear comes love and through pain comes triumph.
This is the triumph of the human spirit; it is not in a select few, it is in every one of us.

Your struggles and hardships are your gifts so that you can reach deep down inside of yourself and discover your inner power and the glory of who you are. Use them to share your message of hope and love with the world.

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The world needs your voice, your message, and your experiences so that they can resonate in the hearts of others and give hope and courage to show that it is possible to overcome anything.

Let us share our gifts with each other as we will be far richer for the experience