”You Can Fly”Believe in Yourself ”

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”Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. ..Don’t let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things,,Follow your dreams, believe in yourself and don’t give up.”

As I grew up, at home and school it felt dangerous to be myself—my whole self, including the parts that made mistakes, got rebellious and angry, goofed around too loudly, or were awkward and vulnerable.

Not dangers of violence, as many have faced, but risks of being punished in other ways, or rejected, shunned, and shamed.

So, as children understandably do, I put on a mask. Closed up, watching warily, managing the performance of “me.” There was a valve in my throat: I knew what I thought and felt deep inside, but little of it came out into the world.

 

From the outside, it looked like I didn’t trust other people. Yes, I did need to be careful sometimes. But mainly, I didn’t trust myself.

Didn’t trust that the authentic me was good enough, lovable enough—and that I’d still be OK if I did mess up. Didn’t have confidence in my own depths, the core of me, that it already contained goodness, wisdom, and love. Didn’t trust the unfolding process of living without tight top-down control. Doubted myself, my worth, my possibilities.

And so I lived all squeezed up, doing well in school and happy sometimes—but mainly swinging between numbness and pain.

It’s been a lifelong journey to develop more faith in myself, to lighten up, loosen up, swing out, take chances, make mistakes and then repair and learn from them, and stop taking myself so seriously.

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Sure, things go wrong sometimes when you trust yourself more. But they go really wrong and stay wrong when you trust yourself less.

Nobody is perfect. You don’t need to be perfect to relax, say what you really feel, and take your full shot at life. It’s the big picture that matters most, and the long view. Yes, top-down tight control and a well-crafted persona may bring short-term benefits. But over the long-term, the costs are much greater, including stress, bottled-up truths, and inner alienation.

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With gentleness and self-compassion, take a look at yourself. Is there self-doubt, holding back, fear of looking bad or failing? If you imagine being your full self out loud, is there an expectation of rejection, misunderstanding, or a shaming attack?

Understandably, we are concerned about what seems “bad” or “weak” inside. But challenge that labeling: Are those things actually so bad, so weak? Maybe they’re just rattled, desperate, or looking for love and happiness in young or problematic ways.

Maybe you’ve internalized the criticism of others, and have been hugely exaggerating what is wrong about you.

And missing so much that is already right.

When you ease up and tap into your own core, when you are in touch with your body, in your experience as you express it—what’s that like? How do others respond? What are you able to accomplish, at home or work?

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Sure, be prudent about the outer world and recognize when it’s truly unwise to let go, take risks, speak out. And guide your inner world like a loving parent, recognizing that not every thought or feeling or want should be said or enacted.

Meanwhile, if you are like me and every single person I have ever known who has decided to trust one’s own deep self, you will find so much that’s right inside: so much knowing of what’s true and what matters, so much life and heart, so many gifts waiting to be given, so many strengths.

Be your whole self; it’s your whole self that you can trust. This day, this week, this life—see what happens when you bet on yourself, when you back your own play. See what happens when you let yourself fall backward into your own arms, trusting that they will catch you.

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”Why I No Longer Believe There’s Something Wrong with Me”

 

Little-boy“Our thoughts create our beliefs, meaning if you think about yourself a certain way for a long enough period of time you will ultimately believe it.” 

The belief “there is something wrong with me” is rampant among coaches, healing facilitators and their clients. In the beginning, this thought can lead you to great wisdom but if it’s not transcended it can turn into an endless void.

“And so enlightenment, fulfillment and lasting joy will continue to elude you because the thought “There is something wrong with me.” will still be ingrained in your subconscious mind.”

This thought is the NUMBER ONE blockage for you to experience true healing and transformation. As long as you believe there is something wrong with you, all attempts to heal yourself will be futile because it doesn’t matter how much progress you make, once you identify with the thought you will go back to that place where you feel you haven’t done enough or you haven’t got “there” yet.

The thought “There is something wrong with me” is the greatest limiting thought for those on the path of self-realization. If you believe there is something wrong with you then you will certainly believe there is something wrong with everyone else and this will keep you in a judgment karmic loop, blocking you from embodying unconditional love towards yourself and others.

It is extremely draining to constantly be scrutinizing yourself and others in attempts to find what is “wrong” with you or them. And as long as you have this belief you will ALWAYS find something wrong with you or other people even if there is nothing wrong. This is just the nature of your mind if you ask the mind “what is wrong with me” or “what is wrong with him” it will always give you an answer.

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“Nothing else represents a greater obstacle for you to see the essence of yourself and others than this though, it is the ultimate blockage to self-love and joy.”

What usually ends up happening is that people who strongly believe there is something wrong with other people become rescuers and problem fixers. They always try to solve other people’s problems, give them unsolicited advice and try to rescue them.

Then they wonder why other people don’t want to be around them. They think they are good listeners but all they are doing is trying to find what is wrong and how to fix it, while the other person simply wants them to listen. This scenario is very common in all kinds of relationships, especially intimate relationships and client/coach relationships.

What you focus on grows, and so you end up finding more faults in others and yourself. Needless to say, the belief that there is something wrong with you and other people destroys relationships. Nothing can kill an intimacy between two people than this thought.

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Your Brain Is A Computer

Every time you ask yourself ‘What is wrong with me?’ or ‘What am I doing wrong?’ your brain MUST give you an answer and show it to you. It is pretty much like typing a question on Google and hitting the ‘Search’ button. And even if there is really nothing wrong with you, your brain will still come up with an answer. So be careful what questions you feed your brain.

You don’t require to believe or think there is something wrong with you to change or heal. The word “wrong” is a label and you can choose to change something simply because is no longer serving you in order to become that version of yourself you wish to embody.

The main reason why people do workshop after workshop, certification after certification is because they believe this thought. And so the cycle of healing, repairing and fixing never ends because there is ALWAYS something else “wrong” with them.

Now don’t get me wrong (no pun intended), working on yourself is phenomenal but when you approach a healing session, a workshop or certification coming from the “There is something wrong with me” mindset, you are going to decrease the amount of healing you can experience. You simply won’t be able to get to the core of it and heal whatever you are trying to heal permanently.

I certainly learned a lot and healed a lot of issues, but when I cleared the source of the belief “There is something wrong with me.” I was able to get to the core and experience the most profound transformation that leads me to:

– Embrace life and my humanity. Take me less seriously.

– See my own pure essence and the essence of others

– Take off the mentor/coach/healer/ problem-solving hat and truly listen and connect with others instead of constantly looking for what I could fix, heal or resolve.

– Have a higher discernment when it comes to choosing what workshop, seminar, retreat or webinar to attend instead of feeling like I “needed” to do every single workshop out there.

– Embodying a state of wholeness

Over the years I have seen this same dilemma with more than 90% of all the people I have worked with. People who’re main intent when buying a product, session, the webinar is to fix themselves because they identify with the thought “There is something wrong with me and I have to fix myself because I am broken.” There are many spiritual “gurus” out there who don’t want you to know this so that you sign up for everything they have to sell you.

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It’s Time To Be The Light

Imagine the following, there are a stained glass and a light that comes through it. Most people think they are the stained glass and so they spend their entire life trying to clean and fix the stained glass so the light can shine brighter through it. But what if you realized that you are not the stained glass but the light itself.

As long as you think you are the stained glass you won’t be able to fully experience the light that you are. When you have the thought “There is something wrong with me.” you are seeing yourself as a stained glass that needs to be fixed and cleaned endlessly.

However, if you are the light then you are brilliant, pure, flowing and that which vanishes darkness. When you are the light you have a clear vision of yourself and everything else. And so the stained glass becomes perfection, one experience or version of the infinite possibilities contained within the totality of who you really are.

It is then that you can simply choose to change or clean the stained glass in order to experience a new frequency of colors and patterns that are more aligned with your desires for this unique reality.

”The Tortoise and the Hare”

”Remember, slow and steady wins the race.”

The Tortoise and the Hare have always been one of my favorites. Slow and steady; determined and diligent; humble and hushed. The tortoise signifies what all men and women are exhorted to be. Upon reading it recently I noticed just how diligent and unassuming the tortoise is. His determination and perseverance to finish the race without letting the arrogant, indulgent and proud hare get in his way is his key to success. The tortoise’s eyes are set firmly on the finish line and his slow yet steady steps forward keep him on the straight and narrow path.

In contrast, the hare is proud, boastful and indulgent. He knows that he’s quick and therefore becomes cocky in his own abilities. The hare is quick to judge the tortoise’s ability as well. Hare becomes lazy and takes a nap or stops for a snack during the race since he assumes that the tortoise will never catch up to him. His gaze veers off course and the finish line inevitably is far from him. But the tortoise’s diligence prevails.

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”We live in a culture full of hares, but the tortoise always wins.”

I found this to be true as I was able to identify with the Hare; as I have been the Hare at different times in my life.  Here are a few lessons I learned from this popular fable.

Lesson # 1: Sometimes we take too long to make decisions.

Sure the Hare did not think out his plan clearly but he acted, he saw his opportunity and he acted.  The lesson learned is simply this, though he probably had many failures he learned a valuable lesson that would take him through life.

You can’t get anywhere if you’re still sitting at the starting line.

Lesson #2: It’s ok to make mistakes they only make you more aware.

The Hare learned to be more persistent and that being the fastest does not always equate to being the winner.

Persistence always wins as it helps you to build muscle.

Lesson #3:  Competition is not always between you and someone else.

As we saw for the Hare his only competitor was himself and his thinking.  Our limited beliefs, his being “I am the fastest so I can lie around and take a nap” this idea was his downfall.

Some of us think this way as well, I am the best, strongest, etc. So I don’t really need to learn more, do more or expend extra energy to accomplish the next task.

As they say, this will result in an EPIC FAIL!

Lesson #4: Slow and Steady really does win the race.

The Tortoise was a perfect example of this, even in the face of sure defeat he persisted.  He kept going and never ever looked back.

Persistence will take you’re further than worry, boasting, or fear any day.

Lesson # 5: Don’t worry about the guy next to you, just run your own race.  You already won it in your mind! That’s where it all begins.

If you can see if you can achieve it!

There are many other lessons I took away from this story but these were the ones that stuck out.  I hope you found them useful as well as entertaining.

Thanks For Reading 🙂