Who Thinks About Thinking?

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”If you draw inaccurate conclusions about who you are and what you’re capable of doing, you’ll limit your potential.”

Your mind is very powerful. Yet, if you’re like most people, you probably spend very little time reflecting on the way you think. After all, who thinks about thinking?

But, the way you think about yourself turns into your reality. If you draw inaccurate conclusions about who you are and what you’re capable of doing, you’ll limit your potential.

I see this happen all the time in my therapy office. Someone will come in saying, “I’m just not good enough to advance in my career.” That assumption leads her to feel discouraged and causes her to put in less effort. That lack of effort prevents her from getting a promotion.

Or, someone will say, “I’m really socially awkward.” So when that individual goes to a social gathering, he stays to in the corner by himself. When no one speaks to him, it reinforces his belief that he must be socially awkward.

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Your Beliefs Get Reinforced: –Once you draw a conclusion about yourself, you’re likely to do two things; look for evidence that reinforces your belief and discounts anything that runs contrary to your belief.

Someone who develops the belief that he’s a failure, for example, will view each mistake as proof that he’s not good enough. When he does succeed at something, he’ll chalk it up to luck.

Consider for a minute that it might not be your lack of talent or lack of skills that are holding you back. Instead, it might be your beliefs that keep you from performing at your peak.

Creating a more positive outlook can lead to better outcomes. That’s not to say positive thoughts have magical powers. But optimistic thoughts lead to productive behaviour, which increases your chances of a successful outcome.

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Challenge Your Conclusions: –Take a look at the labels you’ve placed on yourself. Maybe you’ve declared yourself incompetent. Or perhaps you’ve decided you’re a bad leader.

Remind yourself that you don’t have to allow those beliefs to restrict your potential. Just because you think something, doesn’t make it true.

The good news is, you can change how you think. You can alter your perception and change your life. Here are two ways to challenge your beliefs:

• Look for evidence to the contrary. Take note of any times when your beliefs weren’t reinforced. Acknowledging exceptions to the rule will remind you that your belief isn’t always true.

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• Challenge your beliefs. Perform behavioural experiments that test how true your beliefs really are. If you think you’re not good enough, do something that helps you to feel worthy. If you’ve labelled yourself too wimpy to step outside of your comfort zone, force yourself to do something that feels a little uncomfortable.

With practice, you can train your brain to think differently. When you give up those self-limiting beliefs, you’ll be better equipped to reach your greatest potential.

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How To Conquer The Fear Of Failure

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Living In Constant Worry, Doubt And Fear Makes Your Life Miserable And It Takes Away All Your Joy, Fun And Happiness.

It seems like, worry, doubt and fear is a very widespread “illness” in our society. Almost everyone seems to worry that this and that may happen. A lot of people are worried about their future, their financial situation, that their husband or wife may leave them, that they may get ill, have a terrible accident… and there are surely hundreds of other worries and fears.

Are you one of them? Do you worry too much as well?

How much of it did actually come true? Probably very little. On the other hand, things may have happened you didn’t even imagine or think about.

So, why spending weeks, months and even years worrying about something that probably never happens? It just doesn’t make any sense to torture yourself because of something that only exists in your mind and has nothing to do with your current reality.

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Let’s say, because of certain events and circumstances your logic tells you “things don’t look good…” and you start worrying. Here is what happens: 

  • Because of your worries and fears, you will start feeling worse and worse.
  • Whenever there is an event you would normally enjoy, those nagging fears will take away most of the joy.
  • Staying for a long time in the emotion of worry and fear will not only make you tired, but it will also make you more prone to illness.
  • As within, so without. If you spend most of your time in worry and fear, you will also create unpleasant events and circumstances in your life that correspond with the energy of fear. In other words, there is a good chance that you will actually manifest what you are so afraid of – just because you constantly think and worry about it.

In other words, there is absolutely nothing good that can come from spending only even 1 second in worry, doubt or fear.

If I Could See At Least 1 Tiny Advantage You Could Get Out Of Worrying, I Would Say: “Yes, Every Now And Then Worry For A Few Minutes, Because It Is Good For…” But, There Is Absolutely Nothing Positive About Those Negative Emotions And That’s Why I Suggest You Simply Banish Worry, Doubt And Fear From Your Life.

That’s right, you no longer need those emotions, you are done with them, so, just let go of them.

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But, bad things happen to people every day…

Of course, unpleasant things happen to all of us. BUT,  to constantly worry about what could happen won’t prevent unpleasant things from happening. Quite the contrary, that’s actually a very efficient way to attract more unpleasant things into your life.

Yes, unpleasant things happen. But when they happen, we simply deal with them, we find a solution and we grow through them. We become bigger, wiser, better…

And believe me, tackling those challenging situations is far easier from a positive mindset than from a mindset that’s entrenched in worry, doubt and fear.

Also, you may have already realized that being in the middle of a storm and dealing with a challenging situation actually feels better than the state of dense fear that only exists in your imagination and is created out of the constant worry that something bad MIGHT happen sometime in the future.

So, I think we can agree that spending even a minute in doubt and fear won’t add anything positive to your life.

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But, the big question is how can you get rid of your worries and fears?

You say, those emotions just overtake your life and it isn’t much you can do about it. That’s wrong because those worries and fears are simply the results of unhealthy thoughts and beliefs you engaged in over and over again – thousands of times.

The Exact Same Way You Created Those Fears, You Can Also Get Rid Of Them And Replace Them With Much Better Feeling Emotions. All You Need To Do Is To Change Those Core Beliefs That Lead To Negative Thoughts, Which In Turn Create Your Worries And Fears.

You may smile about the child who is afraid of the green monster in the closet, but most of the worries and fears of us adults are not any more real.

Just think about some of your fears – right now, they are only a product of your imagination. Once something unpleasant happens, you are no longer afraid of it, because it already happened and you have to deal with it. But then you may be afraid of what could happen next. And again, at that stage, “what could happen next” will only exist in your imagination.

”Reshimo- “Who In The World Am I? ”

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“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” …

Why are we living in this world?—Every child asks this question beginning around the age of five, and this is because within us is found a Reshimo (reminiscence), a spiritual gene that must be developed. It pushes us from within.

This gene, this desire, requires fulfillment, an answer to the question, “What are we living for? What is the meaning of life?” Later, we forget this question, and in our pursuit of life, we no longer return to it since we don’t have time to think about it and regard it as a useless thought.

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However, we see that this question constantly draws our attention in all kinds of situations throughout our lives, and considering how many people are in despair, get divorced, need drugs, and require antidepressants, we see that in spite of everything, this question still is very strong.

This gene is planted in us because at the end of our development, our evolution, we need to reach a state in which all of us ask the question, “What are we living for?” Why live?” “What is the meaning of life?”

It is possible to ask this question in another way: “Why does nature, which is so perfect and purposeful, create a person with such great potential, but leave him without an answer to the questions of how to build one’s life,  and what to achieve in life?”

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We see what tremendous wisdom is latent in every cell, in everybody, in the connection between us, and we see how much information we haven’t yet discovered! However, even from what we have discovered with the help of science, we see such a wonderful wisdom hidden in all of this rich mechanism, and yet, we who are at the summit of this science, at its peak, don’t see any meaning in our lives. How is such a thing possible? Without a doubt, there is a purpose to our existence, but we don’t know what it is and we need to discover it.

” Just Get in Shape When You Feel Lazy and Unmotivated”

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I know exercise is supposed to help me fight depression, but how can I find the motivation to work out when I’m depressed?

Depression definitely can make it hard to find the motivation for exercise (among other things) because a loss of interest in normal activities, along with the ability to enjoy them, is often one of the main symptoms of depression. But what does that mean in practical terms?

It definitely doesn’t mean that you’ll have to wait until your depression has cleared up before you’ll be able to start building up a regular exercise routine. In fact, it probably means just the opposite. You might need to stop looking for your motivation or waiting for it to appear before you start working out.  Instead, recognize that feeling unmotivated is part of the illness and that starting a regular exercise routine is an important part of the cure. It’s a lot like getting out of bed in the morning on a low day—you might not feel like it; but you know that if you don’t do it, things are only going to go downhill from there.
The good news is that actually starting an effective exercise routine isn’t as unpleasant or difficult as it seems. Just because you’re depressed doesn’t mean you’ll to have to spend weeks or months forcing yourself to do something you don’t feel like doing; you just have to start by taking the first few steps on faith. That’s because motivation is actually a mental muscle that works a lot like your other muscles—the more you use it, the stronger it gets. And just like there are good (and bad) ways to train your other muscles effectively, there are good ways to train your motivation so it gets stronger as you go along, and makes it easier for you to establish and maintain a good exercise habit. Here are a few good motivation muscle training tips to get you started.

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Focus on just a few things at a time.

We often create a big list of things that we want to do and achieve. Focusing on two or three things at a time will allow you to feel less overwhelmed. Instead, you will feel motivated, as your goals will now seem so much more achievable.

Out of the two sets of six-month goals below, which set gets you more motivated?

Learn to play guitar, do well at work, and get fit.

Learn to play guitar, do well at work, get fit, build big muscles, get better at singing, get top marks at school, learn how to draw better, and write a book.

When I see the second list, I feel overwhelmed. When my life looks a bit like this, I usually don’t know where to start or if I can succeed at anything I’ve set out to do.

People feel motivated when they feel they have a good chance of success.

This has been a big learning curve for me. When success seems like it is just around the corner, suddenly I get an amazing rush of energy where I feel liberated and excited to achieve bigger things.

Set yourself two or three easy to achieve goals at a time and you will notice that you will naturally gain inspiration and motivation.

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 Exercise.

Exercise is the simplest way to overcome laziness. A lot of the time, we feel lazy because completing a task seems too difficult. With exercising, you don’t have to figure anything out. You just have to make that one big decision to literally start moving your body (jump up and down, go for a run, or start doing lunges in your living room).

This has been a big revelation for me. Sometimes I get so fed up with feeling lazy and lethargic that I literally just start running. I have learned that if you can overcome physical laziness, your mind will naturally follow.

You will find that you will become more willing to think about complicated things, such as working on a project or doing something that you have been avoiding. Exercise will help you break through that barrier of inertia and will help you feel motivated and more willing to put in an effort.

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Allow yourself time to relax and do the things you enjoy.

Sound’s ironic, doesn’t it? Overcoming laziness by relaxing! But it works.

Often, we become lazy because a task seems too difficult. By relaxing and doing the things we enjoy, we allow ourselves to feel satisfied. When we are satisfied, we are more willing to take on bigger tasks and achieve bigger things.

By relaxing and enjoying yourself, you also allow yourself to think about things, reflect, and feel inspired.

For example, I often feel uninspired to write articles. I get a mental block. Writing and researching becomes an overwhelming task, so I retreat to laziness. I completely block out anything that requires hard work.

I have learned that as I relax and do things I enjoy, my mind is encouraged to reflect again. It is not scared of becoming overwhelmed because it knows that I am not going to push it to do something productive if it does not want to.

This is how I gain inspiration again. When I relax, I suddenly find myself thinking of all these great ideas and I regain inspiration and motivation.

Get organized.

Your physical surroundings have a big impact on how you feel. If your house is a mess, you are likely to feel even more overwhelmed—both because clutter creates a sense of chaos and because having to clean your house adds to your giant list of things to do in a ridiculously short amount of time.

Clean your house and organize your physical surroundings and you will naturally feel motivated to be more productive and active.

You will be making life simpler and easier to manage.

Once you’ve organized your home, you may feel motivated to get organized in other areas of your life and tackle tasks you’ve neglected.

As I mentioned earlier, laziness is often our attempt to avoid difficult or unpleasant tasks. Ironically, once you start tackling them, it will all feel less difficult and overwhelming and you’ll likely feel a lot less tense.

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Be aware of and monitor your internal dialogue.

Our internal dialogue (the way we speak to ourselves) has such a big impact on how we feel and what we do.

Anthony Robins, a world-famous motivational speaker, explains that if we want to feel ecstatic, all we need to do is adopt a point of view that creates that emotion.

For example, picturing in your mind the things that make you feel that way, change the tone and content of your internal dialogue and change your posture and breathing to create that state in your body.

This has become my personal motto, and I am genuinely amazed at how much more positive I feel just by choosing to have a positive outlook.

Every time I have a negative thought, such as “today is going to be a long, hard day at work,” I immediately challenge that thought by telling myself something like this: “I have so much to be grateful for and today is going to be fun and enjoyable!”

I then make a choice to get rid of my slouchy posture and tell myself that I have lots of energy.

Just thinking that way makes me feel excited and gives me a big boost of energy.

I once learned that we have over 50,000 thoughts a day. Even if only 10 percent of them are negative, it equals a total of 5,000 negative thoughts a day. When I heard this, I realized that we have way too many negative thoughts and it helped make sense of why so many of us struggle to feel motivated.

Being aware of and monitoring your internal dialogue is so important, and will inevitably impact on how lazy you feel and how easy it will be for you to overcome that laziness.

These methods have helped me incredibly and continue to help me every day. I am sure that if you apply them too, you will experience a big boost of energy and motivation in your daily life

”Shine Like A Crazy Diamond”

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”Look after yourself from within, and your beauty will shine through on your skin.”

Is the light you shine any less bright if no one notices or acknowledges it? Or is it possible to shine the light just because that is part of your life path? Those with the brightest lights are easier to see but their task is not to engage more people in the light, it is simply to shine their light in a more unconditional way. The light shines so all can see but not all do, not all want to, and not all need to. This doesn’t diminish the importance or value of the light. Its value is not measured by how many see, embrace, and embody it, but by how brightly it shines, even if it shines alone.

Those who shine most brightly are not burdened with lighting the greatest amount of darkness or bringing more people to the light, they become light beacons of the choice to embrace a higher frequency and vibration, not imperatives for change. Being an unconditional source of light means you shine brightly no matter who sees the light, it is there for all to see when it is their time and when they are ready.

Some have a journey of being in the darkness as encouragement for those who seek the light. They are also an important part of the foundation of light. Without shadows, light is invisible. And without light, there is no alternative to darkness. But there is no commandment for everyone to see the light, and there are no conditions on anyone, those who are in the light or in the dark, to become aware of the light, to embrace and embody it, and to also become a beacon of light for others.

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That does not make the work of those who shine less successful or valuable. In an unlimited, unconditional Universe, every potential exists, even that to remain in the darkness. Shining with unconditional light makes the light available for all, without the condition of acceptance or acknowledgment.

If the fear of the results of darkness become the reason for shining your light then you are acting with conditions and judgment. You may be tempted to shine more brightly so others can see, but the potential for seeing and embracing the light depends on frequency and vibration, which also depend on the will, the lessons, karma, and soul path of each individual.

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Just because you shine more brightly doesn’t mean others will want to see more light. Some may be blinded by the light and turn away because it interferes with their path. Others may use the light to make a choice to remain in their own darkness. The light you shine must be unconditional and you must shine from the joy of being in the light and in being a ‘being of light’, not because you believe you shine so others can see it and know the light for themselves.

The light is a path of joy, truth, and unconditional love, all as energies of higher frequencies. But the path of light does not include the need to become the force for the transmutation of darkness. Does the sun shine only because it is appreciated or does it shine because that is what it does? This is how you can find joy in your light as well, shine with the joy of the light and that you feel in your light. Having awareness of the light is your gift, so shine it for yourself, to light your own path. Don’t be discouraged if no one appears to see it because they cannot see what is not within their frequency or part of their life path.

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When you become an example of joyful, joy-filled, empowered, and fulfilled living through your light, you can become an inspiration for others. Not because you shine more light but because they see the example of your light in action. This is how you inspire others to consider the light as an alternative to darkness and when you shine with unconditional light, you make the light a potential and allows others to make it an empowered choice that they make through their own free will.  And when you find the joy in your light it no longer matters whether others can share in your joy today, you are in joy and that allows your light to shine even more brightly for yourself, for everyone around you, and for all of humanity.

”How To Increase Your Willpower.”

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”The willpower response is a reaction to an internal conflict. You want to do one thing, such as smoke a cigarette or supersize your lunch, but know you shouldn’t. Or you know you should do something, like file your taxes or go to the gym, but you’d rather do nothing.”

Okay, we know that we only have so much willpower and as we go about our day, stress and normal self-control deplete our resource. Let’s see what options we have for increasing the pool of willpower we have to draw from.

Increase your capacity for pressure: Learn how to manage stress

To start with, we need to manage our stress levels. Being under high levels of stress means that our body’s energy is used up in acting instinctively and making decisions based on short-term outcomes. Our prefrontal cortex loses out in the battle for our energy when high-stress is involved.

It is said that stopping to take a few deep breaths when we feel overwhelmed or tempted can be a great start in managing our stress levels and improving our willpower.

Encourage yourself to stick to your plan:-

To make it even easier, it appears that self-affirmation can even help you to have more self-control when you’re running out, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. A good example of this is the difference between telling yourself “I can’t” and “I don’t.” Taking back control of the situation using the phrase “I don’t” has been shown to be more effective at helping you to stick to your plan and break bad habits:

So try telling yourself that you don’t do that bad habit, rather than punishing yourself by saying “I can’t.”

Get more sleep to help your brain manage energy better:-

Getting enough sleep makes a big difference in how efficiently our prefrontal cortex works:

Luckily, It also cites studies that have shown we can make this work in our favor by ensuring we get enough sleep:

And if you’re wondering how much sleep is enough, here’s a rough guide: one of the most acclaimed sleep researchers, Daniel Kripke, found in a recent study that “people who sleep between 6.5 hours and 7.5 hours a night, live the longest, are happier and most productive”.

 Meditate (for as little as 8 weeks)

Meditation has also been linked to increasing the reserve of willpower we have available, as well as improving attention, focus, stress management, and self-awareness. this can even give fast results.

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Better exercise and nutrition: The most ignored route to higher willpower

Another great way to train the brain, that is often easily ignored or undervalued, yet can make you a lot more resilient to stress, and thus boost willpower, is regular physical exercise. Both relaxing, mindful exercise like yoga and intense physical training can provide these benefits, though points out that we’re not sure why this works yet.

As I mentioned earlier, what you feed your body affects how much energy the prefrontal cortex has to work with. This is why nutrition is so important:

Not only will exercise and good nutrition improve your willpower, but they’ll make you feel better as well. Exercise, in particular, is known for making us happy by releasing endorphins.

Postpone things for later to gain focus on what’s important now:-

Postponing something you really shouldn’t have can be effective if you’re trying to break a bad habit. In Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, Roy F. Baumeister explains that people who tell themselves “not now, but later,” are generally less tormented by the temptation of something they are trying to avoid (his example is eating chocolate cake).

”How to Release Emotions Stuck in Your Body and Let Go of the Pain”

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“Whenever something bad happens, keep calm, take a few deep breaths and shift the focus to something positive.”

Someone crushed my heart pretty badly. It was one of those breakups you don’t see coming, the kind of heartbreak you never thought could happen to you. But it happened to me, and I lost myself for a while. I was in so much pain, I wanted nothing more than to get rid of it. So I did.

But the only way to heal emotional pain quickly is by running away from it. And I knew that wasn’t something I could do. One of the main messages in my breathwork teaching is to feel everything—even when it’s excruciating.

But I was so TIRED of feeling the pain. I just wanted it to disappear. We’re wired to run from pain. We want to get as far away from it as possible, whether that means pushing it away or finding a way to go numb. The problem with those approaches is that they create bigger problems, in the form of disease, anxiety, and emotional stagnation.

If you’re someone who wants to live a deeply fulfilling life, you have to learn to face your pain. I know it doesn’t sound appealing, but ignoring your pain will only make it worse over time. Only by staring it right in the face, and really dealing with it, can you find the richness, beauty, and joy that comes with true freedom. Which do you want for your life?

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Why Do Emotions Get Stuck In the Body?

Any emotional energy that we don’t fully experience and process, can get trapped in the body.

  • When we talk ourselves out of feeling how we really do

    How many times have you told yourself it is “ridiculous to get upset over this!” or “not worth upsetting dad” to bring up. Those types of situations cause you to be at risk for trapping emotions. Emotions want a “voice” and if they are not acknowledged, they won’t go away.

  • When we are isolated at the time of the event

    When we are isolated while dealing with a stressful event, we are at risk for trapped emotions. I believe this is because it is human nature to find comfort in the sharing of our emotions — positive and negative. When we can’t reach out, we may be less likely to really feel them and experience them. It often feels safer to let go emotionally with someone else.

  • When we have never experienced something similar before

    Not having any coping skills for the specific event that’s bringing up negative emotions can really leave us “stuck.” If it’s the first time you are experience something, a death of a loved one for instance, you are more likely to “freeze” emotionally than you would be if you had coping skills for the situation. You would be more likely to have coping skills if you learned them during an earlier similar life event.

 

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The Top Most Commonly Stuck Emotions

The top  emotions on my list are the ones I see most often, in most people. Now, remember, these are just the ones that I commonly find to be lodged in the body. Certain events or years of your life can create different types of emotions, and even multiples of the same ones. These are just a general list of what comes up most during my sessions with clients, and for myself! Also keep in mind, they don’t all have to get stuck! Negative emotions aren’t bad. They can only harm if you don’t let them go.

1. Anxiety

While this is a commonly described “emotion,” my experience is that there is other, suppressed emotion under it creating a feeling of anxiousness. It’s best to find what is making you feel anxious instead of using the catch-all of “anxiety” to describe what you’re experiencing.

2. Disgusted

A feeling of loathing; when good taste or moral sense is offended; a strong aversion. Disgust is a feeling that is low enough on the radar to not say anything about. It’s not like anger where you can lose your temper and it comes bellowing out. Disgust is more of an internal ruminating that one often keeps to themselves and festers over.

3. Grief-stricken

Intense emotional suffering caused by loss, disaster, misfortune, etc.; an acute sorrow and deep sadness. A universal reaction to bereavement. Also can be feeling harassed, vexed or exasperated
Grief is something that we don’t often “have time for.” There are so many things humans have the tendency to grieve over. We often need to grieve over the loss of something we never attain (a job, for example), our expectations (the actions of a friend who doesn’t meet them) and many many other things. It’s easily overlooked because we don’t see things as important enough to take the time to say “we’re really feeling that loss,” unless it’s something we think is big enough like the death of a loved one.

4. Criticized

Criticized includes being criticized by others and also negative self-talk (e.g. “Iʼm such an idiot”), blaming the self, etc.  Illnesses can be forms of self-abuse (e.g., “I don’t deserve to be healed.”)
We are masters at this! This one becomes easily stuck because we do it so often to ourselves and we are usually the last people we will give a break to. Many people are willing to forgive others more easily than themselves. In addition, many people think this is a helpful behavior/emotion because it keeps them motivated and so on.

5. Unsupported

A lack of support, help or encouragement; not provided for by another; not defended when help is needed; feeling the burden is too heavy to bear alone. This one goes back to being isolated. Feeling unsupported is scary and makes us feel like we have nowhere to turn. When we have nowhere to turn, we don’t know what to do. And when that happens, we usually find a distraction and don’t really work through the feelings and let them go.

6. Unsafe

Feeling “unsafe” in the world is one of the energies that affect us most as far as our overall wellbeing. This can be feeling unsafe physically or emotionally. Feeling unsafe in the world leads to an overactive “fight, flight, or freeze” (stress) response in the body, which can create a host of emotional and physical challenges.

7. Overwhelmed

To be overpowered in mind or emotion; extreme stress; feeling overpowered with superior force; feeling excessively burdened. This is often self-inflicted. We live in a society where we never feel we’re doing enough, fast enough, good enough. So, we take on more. And then we get overwhelmed. Also, we can tend to be overwhelmed with emotion and if we don’t want to feel that, we can bury it and it can become trapped.

8. Worthless

Of no importance or value; without excellence of character, quality or esteem; serving no purpose. So many of us have given other people permission to define our worth. We are so caught in a pattern of this that we just hang on to how we didn’t live up to someone’s expectations, or that they thought “x, y or z” about us. We hold tight to those perceptions and are scared to let go of them, sometimes because we don’t really know who we are; and sometimes because other people’s perceptions of us serve us (let us “off the hook” for things we don’t want to do, for example).

9. Helpless

Helplessness is the sensation or perception that there is nothing one can do to fix, repair, or improve a situation. This feeling is a huge fear trigger which affects the mind and body greatly.
Feeling helpless in life is so common. And, such a scary feeling. But, we often don’t know how to get out of it. We don’t take the time to change our beliefs about “nothing will make a difference,” “it’s not worth it,” and “I don’t matter.” Changing long-held beliefs is a great way to reverse feelings of helplessness.