”Life Is A Crazy RollerCoster”

 

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”The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.”

Life is a beautiful journey. It’s up to you to make the best of it!

We were born on this Earth with a destiny. We can try to shape it the way we want, but some things simply cannot be changed.

Nevertheless, once we understand some simple things about life, we have the opportunity to live relaxing, wonderful moments every day.

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FAMILY is more important than anything:-

I’ve learned at an early age that family is the most important thing in life. Professional accomplishments come and go, friends can’t always be by your side, but your mum and dad will always be there when you need them.

And if one day they leave this Earth, you will understand that we all have a destiny written in the stars and cannot do anything about it.

As long as you have your family near you and can’t imagine your life without it, be sure to make the best of every moment you spend with your dear ones. Someday you will realize that these happy little moments were the most beautiful of your life.

 HEALTH is a key ingredient for your happiness:-

We all live our life by setting different goals. We want so many things that we don’t realize how time seems to fly by as we try to live our life to the fullest. People only wish for one thing: to be healthy again in order to live a quiet life with the persons they love.

We tend to forget the importance of health until we get sick or someone we love gets sick.

Without health, nothing else matters. We need health to enjoy every moment near our loved ones so make sure that your lifestyle doesn’t damage your health.

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SMILE even when your heart is aching:-

Whether you’re in pain or not, the world won’t stop and you need to go on with your life. Can you think of a better way to celebrate life and the happy moments than by smiling?

Smile and the entire world will smile with you!

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FRIENDS and YOUR SOUL MATE are important too. Without them, you feel incomplete:-

Surround yourself with beautiful people, people you have things in common with, people who love you just the way you are, people you love, people who always make you smile.

Never stop looking for your soul mate. It’s somewhere out there and you will find him. Never lose faith and hope. You deserve to be happy, just like everybody else.

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 Do something that really makes you happy every day:-

We can’t have fun forever. We also need to work and sometimes do things we don’t really enjoy. Make sure you spend a few minutes every day (maybe an entire hour) by doing something you really enjoy, even if it’s writing, running, chatting with your friends, reading, etc.

May you live a fulfilling life! & Dad Once Again Happy Birthday 🙂

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”Pilgrimage of Desire: A path out of walking depression”

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“I once read that succumbing to depression doesn’t mean you are weak, but that you have been trying to be strong for too long, which is maybe a form of denial. So much of life happens somewhere in between being okay and complete breakdown—that’s where many of us live, and doing so requires strength.” ~ novelist Matthew Quick

Let’s play a little word association.

When I say someone is DEPRESSED, what comes to mind?

You might think of someone who:

  • Looks or acts sad most of the time
  • Cries often
  • Can’t feel any emotions (positive or negative)
  • Can’t get out of bed or leave the house
  • Can’t work
  • Can’t take care of themselves or others
  • Thinks or talks about suicide

That’s what severe depression can look like, and it’s a terrible and potentially deadly illness. Most people would notice those signs, realize something was wrong, and hopefully get some help.

But depression has many different faces and manifestations.

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I was one of the walking depressed. Some of my clients are too.

We have many of the symptoms of clinical depression, but we are still functioning.

On the surface, people might not know anything is wrong. We keep working, keep going to school, keep looking after our families.

But we’re doing it all while profoundly unhappy. Depression is negatively impacting our lives and relationships and impairing our abilities.

Our depression may not be completely disabling, but it’s real.

Walking depression can be hard to recognize because it doesn’t fit the more common picture of severe depression. But it can be just as dangerous to our well-being when left unacknowledged.

This list isn’t meant to be exhaustive or to diagnose anyone. But these are some of the signs I’ve observed in myself and those I’ve coached:

Nothing is fun:- You root around for something to look forward to and come up empty.

You can’t find flow:- Working on your creative projects feels like a grind, but you keep plodding away.

Your energy is low: –Maybe you’re not getting enough rest because you’re too anxious to sleep, or you’re trying to cram too many tasks into a day, or you’re punishing yourself by staying up. Whatever the reason, you are effin’ tired.

You feel worse in the morning and better at night:-I remember explaining this to a friend, who found it mystifying. In the morning I felt the crushing weight of all the things I had to do that day. In the evening I was temporarily free from expectations and could enjoy a moment’s respite.

You have simmering resentment toward others:-Sure, you’re still doing what everybody asks of you, but you stew in anger the whole time. You are jealous of and bitter toward people who look happier than you feel.

Your self-talk gets caustic:-You say nasty things in an effort to shock yourself into action. You use shame as a motivator.

You feel distanced from people around you:-It’s hard to have genuine, intimate conversations because you have to keep up this front that you are alright.

You deprive yourself of creative work time:– This helps you exert some control and stirs up feelings of suffering that are perversely pleasurable. Also, taking on new projects that prevent you from writing or making art lets you prove to yourself that you’re still strong and capable.

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Jen Lee has coined the term Dutiful Creatives to describe those who are inclined to take care of their responsibilities before anything else.

“If life were a meal, you’d consider your creativity as the dessert, and always strive to eat your vegetables first. Pacing and knowing how to say No are your strengths, but your creativity is more essential to your well-being than you realize.” from Jen Lee

You notice a significant mood change when you have caffeine or alcohol: –A cup of coffee might make you feel a lot more revved-up and optimistic. A glass of wine might make you feel really mellow and even ~ gasp! ~ happy. (That’s how I finally realized that I was depressed.)

You feel like you’re wasting your life:-Some people have a high sensitivity to the inherent meaning in what we do. Creativity coach Eric Maisel calls this our “existential intelligence.” If our daily activities don’t carry enough significance ~ if they don’t feel like a worthwhile use of our talents and passions ~ then soon we are asking ourselves, “What’s the point? Why should I keep going?”

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Why is it hard to admit that you have walking depression?

You may recognize many of these signs in your life but still be slow to admit that you are depressed. Why is that?

Because it feels presumptuous to put yourself in that category when you’re still getting by. You feel like it would be insulting to those who are much worse off than you. You may feel like you have no real reason to be depressed.

Because your pride and your identity take a hit. You have to admit vulnerability and allow that you are not the all-conquering superhero you thought you were.

Because you realize that you and your life need to change, which feels like more work piled on your plate.

Because you are admitting your own responsibility for your unhappiness and that can trigger self-judgment.

Because you might uncover grief or anger at those around you for not seeing and taking better care of you.

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What to do, what to do?

I’ve posted another entry about how creatives heal from walking depression, and here are the highlights:

  • Rest.
  • Make use of medication and other physical treatments.
  • Do therapy.
  • Practice gratitude.
  • Make connections.
  • Reduce your responsibilities.
  • Spend time creating.
  • Change your thoughts.
  • Develop meaning practice.
  • Change your life.

These steps are simple to say, not easy to do, so make sure you get as much support as you can.

 

Pilgrimage of Desire: a path out of walking depression

My life’s work is to help writers and artists recognize their depression and find healing by making their creative work a priority.

As a young adult, I longed to make my mark on the world as a writer. But after university, I got sidetracked by all the demands of ordinary life.

Soon I joined the ranks of the walking depressed. I was working, volunteering, and looking after my family, but I was also desperately sad.

I found the path out of depression by following my desires—to write, to travel, to become a friend and a creativity coach. Eventually, I left ordinary life behind. I thought I’d found my happy ending, but there was more to the story …

”Forgiveness: Letting go of Grudges and Bitterness”

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Put a thought between your feelings of resentment and indulging in ruminating about them. Acknowledge your part in allowing the abuse to occur, forgive yourself for that, and make a decision to not let it occur again. Declare an amnesty with the person you resent and with yourself. Ask yourself honestly, “When was the last time I truly felt overwhelmed with happiness, freedom, and gratitude?” If you can’t remember, then you may be holding on to resentments.

When it comes to dealing with other people, many of us find ourselves helplessly oscillating between anger and fear. We constantly try to find quick fixes to soothe moments of blind rage and alleviate anxious thoughts. However, these “solutions” are usually nothing more than temporary fixes, which allow us to white knuckle it through one more day. Meanwhile, the root of the problem continues to fester and get worse until we can’t even bear to look at it anymore.

But what if you found out that there is a permanent, lasting way to feel less angry and fearful and finally regain control of your emotions?

It’s called letting go of resentment.

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Here’s how it works: resentment, anger, and fear are all connected. We become trapped in a self-obsessed cycle of being afraid of the future, angry in the present, and filled with resentment over our past. The antidote to fear is faith, the remedy for anger is love, and the solution to resentment is acceptance.

What is Resentment?

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“Resentments are like swallowing poison and expecting the other people to die.”

He was not the first person to say this, but it’s still an incredibly effective way to understand the resentment.

In psychology, resentment is when a person has ongoing upset feelings towards another person or place because of a real or imagined injustice.

One of the reasons resentments are so hard to get rid of is because there is so much bad advice floating around out there on how to deal with them. Exasperated friends may tell you to “Just get over it already.” Therapists might tell us to “let it go.” Other people may say “forget about it” or the even more unhelpful, “the past is the past.” Excuse me, what does any of that generic advice even mean?

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 I can tell you for sure that you shouldn’t do the following with resentments:
  • Ignore them
  • Fight through them
  • “Lock them in a closet”
  • Pretend you don’t feel them
  • Try and forget them

Instead, you should do these things:

  • Face them
  • Feel them
  • Deal with them
  • Heal from them

“Fake it till you make it” doesn’t work when it comes to deep-seated feelings we have about certain people or situations. But dealing with them is certainly easier said than done.

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 Let Go of Resentments:-

Step One– Make a list of all the people you have resentments towards. If you do this honestly, then the list should be pretty long. Include ANYTHING that gives you an automatic negative feeling. You can also include places and institutions (a school you attended, an airport you had a bad experience in) nothing is too trivial or too small.

Step Two– Next to the person’s name; write what they did to cause you to resent them. Again, nothing is too small. If you resent your boss, it may be because that person gives you unreasonable deadlines, or could simply be because you don’t like their hair. The reason for the resentment doesn’t have to “make sense”—it just has to be honest. This is where it will get hard, and you will feel worse than you did before starting. Try to have faith that the end result will be worth it—because it will be!

Step Three– Now you write what part of your life each resentment affects. If you resent an old teacher who made you feel inferior, you might say that it affects your self-esteem or confidence. The point is to become acutely aware of the specific ways that the resentment is impacting your identity, and your ability to feel safe, secure, and loved.

Step Four– Next to the reason, or cause for resentment, you are going to write down your part. This is how YOU have contributed to the problem. Back to our boss example, at this point, you’ve established that you resent your boss, that you resent your boss because of unreasonable deadlines. Your part of this problem could be that you never spoke up and asked for less work.

This is where honesty and willingness come in. You must be honest about your part, and willing to admit it. Otherwise, you may get stuck. Now, read from left to right. You should be able to develop a clear picture of who you resent, why you resent them, the negative ways that it affects your life, and the part you played in all of it. Understanding your resentments by breaking them down will hopefully start the process of evolving from a person who constantly lives in a generalized cycle of resentment, fear, and anger, and helps you transition into someone who can identify the source of their feelings and target specific areas they want to work on.

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The purpose of this writing assignment is to experience freedom by letting go of secrets, fears, and lies which we have been holding onto, and getting these issues out of our heads, and onto paper. What is done with the paper afterward is up to you? Some people choose to share it with a trusted friend; others burn it as a symbolic gesture of surrendering those feelings.

This is a tried and true method adapted from which literally ANYONE can do. Unlike expensive therapy, this will cost you nothing, other than the price of a pen and paper. What do you have to lose?