”Things I Learned From My Mother – Be Yourself”

“Pain changes your life forever. But so does healing from it.” 

The hell of watching someone die isn’t just the actual dying part. It’s the years, months, weeks and days leading up to it.

It’s the pain of watching day by day the most important person in your life slip further and further away from you while there is nothing you can do to stop it.

You don’t lose this person in one moment. You lose them gradually throughout the whole time they are sick. As time goes on, they become less and less the person that they were before this illness took over.

I don’t know how to find even slightly pleasant words to describe what watching a parent die feels like. I don’t know how to even try to explain it without curse words and screaming.

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It’s absolutely terrifying. It’s gut-wrenching. It sends you through a whirlwind of feelings and emotions. You don’t even know who you are anymore. It takes over your life.

 

When You Grieve the Loss of Your Mom …

What I learned was my mom taught me everything by example. I became the confident, independent man I am from watching my mom. She set the precedent.

My mom taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be. She wanted me to succeed in everything I tried. She made it known that things were different when she was a young girl. She didn’t have all of the opportunities I had. It was important to her that I took full advantage of all that life had to offer me.

I learned so much from my mom. But the greatest things she ever taught me was to live. To follow my dreams. To be happy. And I am all of these things today because of her.

My mom’s most valuable life lessons were taught to me when she was dying. When you’re saying goodbye to your mom, it doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are, or how much money you have. It just sucks. But even through death, my mom continues to teach me new things.

Having to say goodbye to my mom was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. There are no words, yet you have to say something. I don’t even remember what I said. And now, it just doesn’t matter. Because now I realize that nothing had to be said.

My mom was diagnosed with kidney failure when she was forty-one years old. Now that I am twenty-six, I realize how young forty-one is. Every day I think, a little over fifteen years from now and I’ll be the age my mom was when she was given a death sentence. It scares the hell out of me.

I am also haunted by the fact of how hard it must have been on my mom. She knew she was going to die. She knew she was leaving the love of her life behind and abandoning her three kids.  I know that has to be what it feels like to say goodbye to your kids. No matter how old they are.

I remember going to the hospital and the nurse pulling us aside to tell us our mom was crying all night. I was shocked. I don’t know why. I just never stopped to think that my mom was scared. She was always my rock. She took care of all of us, always. She never felt sorry for herself and she was always so strong.

Knowing my mom had kidney-failure was one thing. Knowing my mom was scared was quite another.

My mom lingered on for many months. She was seen by many specialists at many hospitals. For a while there, we had hope. But then a last-ditch-effort trip to another world renown hospital would end all the hope and speculation. Now the goal would be to make her comfortable. To pray for peace.

Hospice came and set up shop in our family room. This was our new reality. We had visitors in and out every single day. Our lives were shattering, yet the outside world kept spinning.

Thankfully my mom didn’t suffer long. The end came fast. So fast we couldn’t all be there.  My cousins woke me up and said to come home by next flight. A nurse was taking my mom’s pulse and said it would be soon. Sometime in the next few hours, was her guess.

My mom died an hour later. With just my dad and my brother there. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know what was happening. I sat next to her for a while after she was gone. Staring at her. Willing for her to wake up. She didn’t.

A few minutes later, her friends arrived. My dad met them on the front porch as I stayed with my mom. I could hear them wailing. It was unbearable. They came inside and said their goodbyes.

My uncle and brothers made it home soon thereafter. My brothers were heartbroken that they were not there when our mom died. I was haunted that I had been there. It turns out our final good-byes did not matter. It was the life we had all shared together that did. And that could never be taken away from us.

 

Now we had to face the cruel reality that life, does indeed, go on. Without our mom. Like it or not. But we had each other and everything that our mom had instilled in us. And that’s how life went on. And continues to go on. Every damn day.

Saying goodbye is never easy. But it’s impossible to say goodbye to someone who is always going to be part of you.

”When We Practice Loving-Kindness,  We Change For The Better—And So Does Our World.”

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For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

Kindness is underrated. We equate it with being nice or pleasant, as though it’s mainly about smiling, getting along, and not ruffling feathers. It seems a rather mundane virtue.

When we practice loving-kindness, we change for the better—and so does our world.

I don’t always know what my heart needs, in those moments I find my mind wanders in circles only stopping to turn the old rocks of my soul over or to imagine (i.e. obsess over) some sort of despair and forever lack of clarity. This may or may not happen every third week. I find this is possibly the dark side of FEELING ALL THE FEELINGS ALL THE TIME.

Then in an unexpected moment, someone wise says something so simple…and obvious. …like your heart needs a hug too.

Oh yeah, that.

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Kindness Changes Everything :-

So could it be so uncomplicated? It seems the most foundation truths usually are. The Buddha first taught loving-kindness to a group of monks who had been practicing meditation in a forest. The monks were fearful that the spirits of the forest did not want them there and that the spirits were going to attack them. Although the monks were probably just afraid of the dark, their fear became anger toward the forest, and their anger became hatred. And, of course, when one is feeling angry, unsafe, and resentful it becomes more and more difficult to meditate. So the group of monks went to the Buddha, asking for advice on how to deal with the perceived threat.

The Buddha’s advice was the teachings of the Metta Sutta (the Loving-Kindness Lecture). He went into detail about the necessity of forgiving everyone for everything, and he taught the monks how to live a life of kindness, with the desire and willingness to protect others and not cause harm.

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The practical meditation technique for developing kindness, according to the Buddha, is focusing the mind on certain phrases by repeating them. Some of the common phrases are: “May all beings be at ease,” “May all beings be safe and protected from harm,” “May all beings be met with forgiveness,” “May all beings be free from suffering,” and “May all beings be happy.”

It is said that after receiving the teaching on metta the monks went back to the same place in the forest but with a new outlook. As they recited the phrases of kindness, the forest began to feel safe. The fear of being attacked left them and all of the beings of the forest began to appear friendly. Birds seemed to be singing sweet songs just for them; the mosquitoes seemed to leave them alone, but, when a mosquito or other bug did bite one of them, they were happy to offer some sustenance to that life form. As their hearts became kind, their environment became safe.

When we are coming from a place of kindness ourselves, we naturally experience kindness from others. Kindness is the antidote to fear, as well as to many other forms of suffering. My own experiences have verified this teaching. In my early life I was filled with anger. I was almost constantly dishonest; I caused harm to many people and wished harm upon many others. I was living in the opposite way from what is suggested in the Metta Sutta. I had no humility, no integrity, and no wish to protect anyone but myself. Living that way had me going in and out of addicted to drugs, and—most important—always looking over my shoulder to see if anyone was going to attack me. I felt completely unsafe. Of course, addicted to drugs has a way of making you paranoid, but it was also true. I was often in physical altercations and the threat of violence on the streets was a real one. I knew nothing about being kind or loving, and was met with a great amount of violence. I was so delusional that I often felt like a victim, and I justified the ways I was hurting people by blaming it on the people who had hurt or betrayed me.

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I now know that I created the whole thing. It was my unskillful reaction to the pain of my life that led to the suffering of drugs, and violence. But as I came to the dharma and trained my mind with metta phrases, I slowly began to change my way of thinking and acting. It was not an overnight transformation, but a very gradual change that is continuing to take place even now, years into the practice.

That said, kindness does not result in physical safety for everyone, at least not on a physical level. I can’t help but think, for example, of all the truly kind and loving people who must have been tortured and killed in Nazi concentration camps, in Communist Chinese re-education prisons, in the cities and villages of civil-war torn countries on the African continent, and during the genocide of the native people of North America. I am also thinking of the millions of homosexuals who have been met with violence and hatred for no reason other than their natural sexual orientation, and the millions and millions of truly kind people who’ve been beaten and killed just for the color of their skin, or their religion, or gender, or political views. This leaves me with the conclusion that perhaps part of what the Buddha was pointing to in this teaching was not always physical safety, but more of an inner safety.

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I am thinking of a Tibetan Buddhist nun who is beaten and raped by Communist soldiers. Her body is violated and made unsafe; it is the greatest trauma possible. But her years of kindness and compassion practice allow to her to access an internal place of safety, a source of loving-kindness that allows her to extend mercy and love to herself and meet her attackers with forgiveness and compassion. She understands the deep state of ignorance that these men are in and she understands the karmic hell they are creating for themselves. In such circumstances, metta does not protect us against being physically hurt, but it does have the potential to protect us from hatred and all of the suffering that comes with such hatred. Kindness has the power to protect us from the extra layer of suffering we create through greed, hatred, and delusion, and in that way it makes the world a safer place.

”The World Is Changed By Your Example, Not By Your Opinion. ”

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”Stop Trying to Fit In and Start Embracing Your True Self”

At some point in life, you will have to decide for yourself if you want to be true to your nature and live your authentic life or if you want to bend & remold yourself to fit society and the standard of the people within that add no real value or depth to your existence. I’ll start by saying I’ve been guilty of conforming; I’ve pretended to be conventional so I could fit in, I’ve tried to change sometimes so I could blend in community, I’ve once suppressed dreams to appear ‘normal’, I’ve accepted unfavorable situations so I wouldn’t come across as ‘extra’ and I’ve at some point even toned down my appearance for the comfort of others.

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I now realize the error in all of that; I’ve learned that anyone that wants you to be a less version of your true self-does not wants you to soar. If someone makes you feel like you’re not ‘normal’ because of who you are then that person is not for you; is there a universal definition of normal? What makes a trait that I have abnormal and the next person’s trait normal? Normal according to whom? A society that chooses to mold you into a replicate of what has always been/the norm is not one that is keen on innovation and growth. Please do not ever limit your growth for others to catch up, own your uniqueness and be the best possible version of yourself. Never shrink yourself and never allow anyone to make you feel like there’s something terribly wrong with you simply because you’re different; it’s ok to be different, embrace it.

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I have realized a fact – I’m not for everyone; in the realization of this; I find content. It’s easier to always be myself; understanding that there are people that’ll appreciate my difference and there are some that won’t & that’s perfectly ok.

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We all have our ways of thinking and to each and every one of us, our opinions are very important. Yet our individual beliefs impact the world much less than our actions. What we do speaks so much louder than what we say.

Lead by example. Show kindness to others, live in the moment, savor each day’s experiences, offer your support, generosity and expertise, smile, laugh, hug, embrace challenges and above all, be grateful. If we all do rather than say, we can and will have a wonderful ripple effect on the world.

”The Secret to Knowing If You’re On The Right Path”

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”I was a bit challenged when I was younger to stay on the right path.”

Dwayne Johnson

When I was 18 and started playing poker seriously.

I wanted money. To me, money symbolized freedom. With money, I could do anything. I could travel, relax and have fun.

I thought a certain amount of money would make me happy. But when I finally reached that monetary goal, I realized happiness wasn’t found in money, or anything external for that matter.

I had read books that exclaimed happiness was found within, but it wasn’t until I realized it myself that it started making sense.

I’m all for listening to solid advice and having a good mentor, but you still have to make a lot of mistakes on your own. You won’t get through life by avoiding mistakes.

I’ve been making mistakes on my own ever since I was 18. It took me several years to realize that the fastest way to make progress is to take action and be okay with making mistakes all the time.

A Crossroads: –

After a while of playing poker, I started to realize that it wasn’t something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I had come to a crossroad and I didn’t know where to go, because the possibilities were seemingly unlimited.

The reason for my overwhelm happened because I tried to use my logical mind to find my path. It wasn’t until I started listening to my heart and doing what I truly enjoy that everything started falling into place.

I stopped worrying about the right path and I started doing what I enjoyed in each moment. This wasn’t something that came easily. I still struggle with this and I think I will be struggling for the rest of my life. The trick is to be okay with struggling because it will always be there.

What calmed me down was the fact that I stopped thinking of my path as an isolated road from where I could never go back or jump to another path. I started imagining my paths running parallel to each other. I could jump around and try other things whenever I wanted to.

The anxiety I had was entirely self-created. At that moment something clicked. I realized that what I really wanted to do was play around with websites, write and help people. I listened to my heart and started learning how.

I found a resource that filled me with curiosity and excitement. Following your heart is simple. It’s easy to increase the complexity of your life, but once you realize everything really is as simple as following your heart, a new world opens up to you.

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Overcoming Obstacles:-

Following this path hasn’t been a walk in the park. I run into obstacles all the time, but what has changed is how I view my obstacles. Instead of looking at them as something that is there to stop me from achieving what I want, I now look at my obstacles as challenges.

They help me grow and understand life better. I have gone from despising obstacles to looking forward to them. The more criticism I receive, the faster I’ll learn. If someone says something bad about my blog, my products or anything I’ve created, I can now look at it objectively and determine if it is true or if the person is just projecting.

There have been times when the going has gotten so tough that I have doubted my path. Should I really be doing this? Or are these obstacles here to tell me that I should be heading in another direction?

I use very simple methods to solve problems like this. I listen to my heart and look at if I am still excited about what I am doing. If the answer is yes, I keep going.

Ever since I have discovered the power of following my heart, everything has become much simpler. I still use my logical mind, but it no longer is in the driver’s seat as it used to. There’s no need for me to try and make sense of everything. My heart knows best.

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How I Deal With the Really Rough Days:-

But what about the really tough times where you feel like you’re going nowhere?

For me, those times have been more on my mind than anywhere else. They aren’t really there. They are what I call “down days”, as they just seem to happen and go away. The best way to take advantage of them is to learn what they are trying to tell you.

There are days when I feel horrible. I’m afraid, frustrated and angry at the world. It feels like everyone is against me and nothing is going right. When this happens, I take a deep breath and acknowledge what is going on.

I often take a day off observing my thoughts. This may seem counter-intuitive as you’re probably accustomed to pushing your thoughts away when they aren’t pleasant, but if you want to get rid of them, you have to learn what’s going on.

I may do a bit of walking, meditating, talking to Ingela or my friends. These are activities that help me. You have to find what works for you.

When I’m feeling bad, I often find that my ego is not entirely happy. It’s not getting what it wants, being validated enough, making enough money, or getting enough traffic.

When I look at these thoughts, I realize that they are almost always unfounded. When I switch my focus from service-to-self to service-to-others, I experience a dramatic shift. Now, sometimes all of this doesn’t work, which is when I try to be okay with my thoughts and go about my day.

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The Secret

It’s easy for me to look at other people and compare myself to them. I’ve learned that the only way I’m going to be happy is if I follow my own path and guidance.

Once you step into your own space and are confident enough to follow your heart, you will feel an incredible sense of freedom. You will no longer be overwhelmed with all the options out there because you know that the only thing you have to do is listen to your heart.

This is how I know I’m on the right path. Every day I wake up, I feel grateful to be doing what I’m doing. If you’re not at this place yet, that’s completely okay.

Stop trying to find ways to put yourself down. It’s cool to not be a superstar right away. Realize what is going on. These are just habits that aren’t serving you. If you’re doing your best and moving towards what you feel good about, you’re on the right path.

If You Think I’m on a right path, Please do follow and share on your social page, friends, and family because sharing is love, You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others.

”You Are The Driver Of Your Own Life Don’t Let Anyone Steal Your Seat”

Try not to become a Man of Success but a Man of Value. Albert Einstein

Imagine that you’re driving on the open road. Nothing behind you and nothing in front

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of you. Clear skies, great views, and one wide open road.

In life, the greatest thing you can ever do is create your own road map without allowing other drivers to get in your way. Sometimes when you’re driving for a long time, it might get tiring and your legs might tremble, but the most amazing feeling is the adrenaline when you smoothly move forward with a burst of positive momentum, surging up from the engine of your own accomplishments.

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You become the best when you are open to changing lanes that flow at a better pace; this will allow you to surrender the fear that often inhibits all of us from growing. Change is a constant in life; if you do not invite change into your daily actions, then you are letting exterior changes from other people or circumstances dictate your existence. Let me explain further. There is no such thing as repeating the same behavior. For example, golf professionals will never repeat the exact swing twice, no matter how good they are. The same goes for our actions in life. Change is inevitable. Discomfort is inevitable. Negative thoughts are inevitable. Second-guessing is inevitable. But driving your way to freedom is up to you.

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If you are not growing, then you are not doing your best. If you are not doing your best, then you are not growing. You control the wheel and how you measure your degree of being your best with your focus ahead. You determine where you want to drive, and how far. How long it takes to get there is up to you. How you shift gears in a way that can create a breakdown or a surge in speed, is totally up to you.

If it’s something holding you back, then you need to be looking for a new road or create your own. This creates consistent molding of yourself to build resilience, tenacity, growth, and surges of success as you develop yourself through your life and through your driving career.

How do you stay in the driver’s seat? If you take each day as if it is the first day of getting your first new car, more than likely you would take every moment of every second during the day to go where you wanted more than anything else. You create your own driving patterns of what you control and what you don’t. You can’t control how you drove yesterday, so why even use yesterday’s rear view mirror unless you are learning better ways to drive.

First Gear: Turn thought into action, from “stop” to “go.”

Second Gear: Turn action into acceleration. You move forward faster or stay idle.

Third Gear: Move closer to getting to a faster pace, but you have to get ready to shift ahead.

Fourth Gear: Travel at a steady pace, feeling more comfortable, and the acceleration will take longer to stop.

Fifth Gear: Cruise control – You just hit your stride and continue down the path, effortlessly passing obstacles as you continue forward.

“Change Your Thoughts And You Change Your World.”

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“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

The nature of our thoughts determines the quality of our life whether it is sad, happy and contented. Happy, optimistic, positive thoughts, emotions, and feelings generate a zing in our system which makes the blood flow freely and heartbeat joyously. They create a spring in our feet and spur us to action. Let us remember the age-old saying that the mind- thoughts- can move the mountains. Pessimistic, sad and gloomy thoughts, on the other hand, create inertia and force us to stay bed-bound.

Our actions are the practical manifestations of our thoughts.

It is quite clear, therefore, that we must bring about a change in the way we think in order to create happiness and sense of fulfillment in our life. A good thing about our brain is that it willingly adopts any changes that we bring about in our thinking patterns.

Here is a list of ways you can change your thoughts and give a positive direction to your life.

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  • Accept that your thinking needs adjusting – We’ve all had goals and dreams that didn’t unfold the way we hoped or expected. When this happens repeatedly, we start to wonder what we need to change. But rarely do we look inside at our own thinking as the place to start making changes.

We live in a skillset-driven society that emphasizes learning new skills and improving the ones we’re weakest at. This often fosters the belief that we need more education in order to achieve our goals. Some people go back to school, others take seminars and workshops or read books, always looking for that silver bullet skillset that will make everything fall into place.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not downplaying the value of skill sets; but more often, it’s our mindsets that need adjustment.

The good news is, it’s a lot less expensive and much faster to change your mindsets than to go learn a new skill. So step one is simply to acknowledge that you’re going to work on your mindsets first.

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  • Identify your counter-mindsets – Mindsets are formed through prior experiences and emotional milestones, and the mindsets that aren’t producing the results you want are called counter-mindsets.

Some examples of these are self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and any other negative thoughts that get in the way of your fulfillment.

Around 65,000 thoughts go through our minds each day.  Unfortunately, in the case of most people, the majority of them are negative.  These “Automatic Negative Thoughts” (ANTs) occur so often that you’re probably not even aware of them (most of us aren’t).

For example, You know that little voice that points out irresponsible spending choices when you’re looking at your monthly budget?  Or makes disparaging comments when you look in the mirror?

We all know that voice.  It makes you hesitate before approaching someone you’d like to meet.  It makes you think twice before starting a business or considering a career change.

All of us have different ANTs, and, without knowing it, we’re habitually allowing them to destroy our dreams. It’s hard to remain positive when that little voice is constantly spouting off and saying things like, “I can’t talk to her,” “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m out of shape,” “I’m not qualified”… yadda, yadda, yadda.

The way to start exterminating the ANTs in your head is to begin paying attention to them. Notice when you hear that disparaging voice, and recognize how frequently it happens. More than likely, you’ll find that your limiting thoughts can be narrowed down to a few key themes. Taking note of this is a major step because we can’t change what we haven’t acknowledged.

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  • Flip the switch – Once you’ve identified your top negative thoughts, you need a way to stop them from holding you back. The best technique I know for this is something I call “flip the switch,” which moves thoughts from negative to positive.

For years, every time I looked in the mirror, all I saw were my flaws.  Finally, I started practicing the exact opposite reaction – flipping the switch.  I’d look in the mirror and force myself to say, “You look good!”

It took some time to get used to it, but the reality is that positive thoughts and negative thoughts can’t occupy the same space, so I was giving my ANTs an eviction notice.

Another technique I find effective is called the “if/then” approach. Once you identify when your ANTs typically show up, apply a thought process that allows you to essentially think yourself past them.

Here’s an example:  Say you plan to go for a walk after dinner to get more exercise, but when dinner is over, your ANT shows up. If you start to hear the voice in your head that says you’re too tired, too full, or you’ll never lose the weight anyway, then walk to the closet immediately and put on your running shoes.

Often, just taking one positive step in the right direction is enough to shut those ANTs up. Prepare yourself by creating a list of if/then statements ahead of time.

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  • Understand your “why” – Changing your mindsets takes work because formed habits aren’t easy to break. This is especially true since many of our most harmful habits and counter-mindsets were established when we were kids, and we’ve been doing things the same way ever since.

Understanding your “why” is about starting fresh and deciding on one goal or dream that, when you achieve it, will mean a transformational change. Losing weight. Being happier at work. Improving your relationship with your companion. Identify something that could make a huge impact in your life.

After all, if it’s going to take work to make it come true, it better be really meaningful, right?

Once you identify what your “why” is, write down on paper or in a notebook why it really matters to you. Not on a computer… on paper in your own handwriting.  This is an important part of building your motivation.

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  • Realize that motivation and willpower are not enough – Most people incorrectly believe that motivation and willpower are all that’s needed to achieve their goals. And no wonder they do, since it’s common advice you hear from friends and family to motivation gurus and life coaches.

I asked you to write down your big “why” in step four because that’s where motivation begins. But we all know that motivation can be hard to maintain no matter how important your goal may be–and that’s when willpower is supposed to kick in.

The latest brain research reveals that willpower is like a gas tank. You start with a full tank, but you deplete your supply each time you use it. Here’s what I mean:

You’re trying to eat healthier, then get to work and find Girl Scout cookies next to the fruit bowl.  What do you do?  Tap into your willpower and resist the cookies. Good for you!

Then you plan to go to the gym after work, but end up staying later to deal with a customer issue. Your willpower is already depleted, and the added stress of not following your original plan doesn’t help.

Do you end up going to the gym? You know the answer because it’s happened to all of us.

It doesn’t take long to simply give up and abandon our goals when we rely on motivation and willpower to achieve them. They aren’t always enough. That’s why 25% of people give up on a goal after the first week, and 60% quit after the first month.

High achievers understand this reality, which is why step five is simply about recognition… that is, recognizing that achieving your goals isn’t about white-knuckling your way to success.

By accepting this fact, you’ll stop mentally punishing yourself for stumbling or failing to stick to your plan–which will leave you emotionally freer to optimistically try again tomorrow!

To change your life you have to change yourself to change yourself you have to change your mindset

  • Start small so you can finish big – This may sound counter-intuitive, but one of the best ways to change your mindsets and realize your dreams is through setting ridiculously tiny, utterly achievable goals.

How tiny?

How about this: one push-up.

If your big goal is to get daily exercise, then your small, attainable goal is to do a single push-up each day.

If you want to reduce stress in your life, your tiny goal might be to meditate for one minute every night.

If you want more affection with a loved one, your mini-goal could be one extra hug or kiss.

Each of these examples requires almost no motivation or willpower to accomplish.  And yet, each is a positive step.

Here’s the trick: Decide that your tiny goal is the minimum and that you can do more if you feel up to it.

A lot of the time, you’ll do more and will feel great because you’re overachieving. Some days you may do the minimum, and you’ll still feel great because you’ve met your goal.

How can these tiny goals actually make an impact? It’s because massive change requires small steps, repeated daily, which create momentum and yield positive cumulative results.

The top 8% of achievers understand this, but most people never try this strategy because they think it seems pointless to start so small.  Wrong!  Over time, consistently hitting your small goals will form new mindset habits, and that’s real progress toward revamping your thinking so you can reach your biggest dreams.

  • Get comfortable with the “F” word – The steps for how to change your mindset that I’ve outlined so far will help you move forward with confidence toward achieving more of your goals and dreams. However, it’s critical to understand that it will be hard work.

That’s why high achievers are comfortable with the F-word: FAILURE.

When most people hit a wall, they make an excuse or give up. High achievers realize that the only thing that will keep them from their goals is to stop trying… so they don’t!  They know that they’ll encounter obstacles and even fail along the way.

What separates them from the other 92% is that they prepare for failure mentally. They know it’s coming, and it doesn’t scare them or make them give up. When failure happens, they seek feedback and make adjustments to get back in the game.

You can do this by giving yourself permission to fail. It will take the pressure off getting a perfect end result, and you can be ready to learn from missteps and make adjustments that will keep you moving forward.

Changing your mindsets doesn’t happen by accident. It happens by choice, and these 7 steps should help get you on the right track. As always, I’d love to read your comments and any other strategies that work for you!

 

 

‘Without Music Life Would Be A Mistake”

”Without music, life would be a mistake.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

I could not imagine life without the beauty of music. There are times when one song can completely change someone’s mood. Think about all of the bad days you may have had and then think about a song that makes you happy and how that four minutes can make your day 10 times better. That is what it is all about. In a world full of hate, anger, sadness, and bitterness, music is one thing that isn’t broken. People take all kinds of emotions and feelings and turn them into something beautiful just to make sense of all of it. They grasp at the strings in your heart that make you feel things that you cannot understand and somehow find the words to explain it all. When you cannot find the right words to say, music will speak for you. I personally take situations and emotions and put them to a melody, which is another level of satisfaction.

”Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.”
The power of music is not only for entertainment, but it has the ability to bring people together. In times of despair, the right notes and words can make a bad situation better. An example of this is the national anthem. At sports events, political activities, and many other gatherings, this one song brings thousands of people together. Music is a symbol of unity in all situations. The national anthem joins people together in celebration of the country. Religious hymnunitees people that way. Holiday songs bring people together as they go caroling through the streets. Campfire songs. The “Happy Birthday” Song. Early 2000’s classics. Those songs that make you sing at the top of your lungs with your friends driving with the windows down. People come together through the power that music has. It is almost as if the world gets put on pause for a few minutes and all of the problems and uncertainties disappear.

Music is something that you can fall in love with. It’s important to fall in love with as much as possible in this life. The truth is, love mends all. Love is the most important thing. When I fell in love with music, my life changed. Days became better, the sun seemed brighter. Music saved me and gave me something to believe in. I could feel the hope, the possibilities, and the reason to put passion and all of my heart into something. This is the case for many people. With so many artists and bands and songs out there, there are so many opportunities to find the words that you are looking for.

”If music is the food of love, play on. William Shakespear”
Moral of the story, music is beautiful. Music is life changing. It can fill the holes that you may see in your life. Music is the light that needs to be let in.