How To Conquer The Fear Of Failure

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Living In Constant Worry, Doubt And Fear Makes Your Life Miserable And It Takes Away All Your Joy, Fun And Happiness.

It seems like, worry, doubt and fear is a very widespread “illness” in our society. Almost everyone seems to worry that this and that may happen. A lot of people are worried about their future, their financial situation, that their husband or wife may leave them, that they may get ill, have a terrible accident… and there are surely hundreds of other worries and fears.

Are you one of them? Do you worry too much as well?

How much of it did actually come true? Probably very little. On the other hand, things may have happened you didn’t even imagine or think about.

So, why spending weeks, months and even years worrying about something that probably never happens? It just doesn’t make any sense to torture yourself because of something that only exists in your mind and has nothing to do with your current reality.

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Let’s say, because of certain events and circumstances your logic tells you “things don’t look good…” and you start worrying. Here is what happens: 

  • Because of your worries and fears, you will start feeling worse and worse.
  • Whenever there is an event you would normally enjoy, those nagging fears will take away most of the joy.
  • Staying for a long time in the emotion of worry and fear will not only make you tired, but it will also make you more prone to illness.
  • As within, so without. If you spend most of your time in worry and fear, you will also create unpleasant events and circumstances in your life that correspond with the energy of fear. In other words, there is a good chance that you will actually manifest what you are so afraid of – just because you constantly think and worry about it.

In other words, there is absolutely nothing good that can come from spending only even 1 second in worry, doubt or fear.

If I Could See At Least 1 Tiny Advantage You Could Get Out Of Worrying, I Would Say: “Yes, Every Now And Then Worry For A Few Minutes, Because It Is Good For…” But, There Is Absolutely Nothing Positive About Those Negative Emotions And That’s Why I Suggest You Simply Banish Worry, Doubt And Fear From Your Life.

That’s right, you no longer need those emotions, you are done with them, so, just let go of them.

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But, bad things happen to people every day…

Of course, unpleasant things happen to all of us. BUT,  to constantly worry about what could happen won’t prevent unpleasant things from happening. Quite the contrary, that’s actually a very efficient way to attract more unpleasant things into your life.

Yes, unpleasant things happen. But when they happen, we simply deal with them, we find a solution and we grow through them. We become bigger, wiser, better…

And believe me, tackling those challenging situations is far easier from a positive mindset than from a mindset that’s entrenched in worry, doubt and fear.

Also, you may have already realized that being in the middle of a storm and dealing with a challenging situation actually feels better than the state of dense fear that only exists in your imagination and is created out of the constant worry that something bad MIGHT happen sometime in the future.

So, I think we can agree that spending even a minute in doubt and fear won’t add anything positive to your life.

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But, the big question is how can you get rid of your worries and fears?

You say, those emotions just overtake your life and it isn’t much you can do about it. That’s wrong because those worries and fears are simply the results of unhealthy thoughts and beliefs you engaged in over and over again – thousands of times.

The Exact Same Way You Created Those Fears, You Can Also Get Rid Of Them And Replace Them With Much Better Feeling Emotions. All You Need To Do Is To Change Those Core Beliefs That Lead To Negative Thoughts, Which In Turn Create Your Worries And Fears.

You may smile about the child who is afraid of the green monster in the closet, but most of the worries and fears of us adults are not any more real.

Just think about some of your fears – right now, they are only a product of your imagination. Once something unpleasant happens, you are no longer afraid of it, because it already happened and you have to deal with it. But then you may be afraid of what could happen next. And again, at that stage, “what could happen next” will only exist in your imagination.

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”Don’t Ever Let Fear Turn You Against Your Playful Heart.”

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“ Stay focused on whatever you want to do and don’t doubt yourself.”

“I wish I could get back into writing. I haven’t written in so long.”

Just to give you a little background to this story, we’re old friends who first bonded over our mutual love for writing.

My friend tells me that she wants to get back into writing, but the stress that comes with her Job and the lack of time really gets to her. She doesn’t think she can get back into it after not writing for so long.

This post is for any writer who hasn’t written in a long time and wants to get back into it.

As you may already know, I’ve been writing for over a year. This doesn’t mean that I’ve been writing every single day.

I honestly don’t want to tell this story – a story where I’m painting the picture of the writer who’s had more failures than successes.

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In fact, I once went a year without writing because the stress of workload combined with a job was taking a toll on me, forcing me to stop writing.

But if this helps even one person, especially my friend, to get back to writing, I’ll continue to write this even if I don’t want to.

Last year, I had been writing every day – continuously for three months and had even achieved more than I’d set out to accomplish.

I then decided to take a break to work on a side project and go on vacation.

This break from writing was supposed to last three weeks but it ended up lasting 6 weeks.

Why?

Because when I tried to return to the habit of writing, I was failing.

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I’m sure it’s the same feeling you might’ve experienced at one point – where you sit in your chair, your fingers poised in the air as you try to get the ink to form the words in your head and onto the paper.

But you can’t. You just can’t get back into Writing.

There was a fear stopping me, just like I’m sure there’s a fear stopping you.

The fear the no matter what I wrote, it would somehow be the worst thing ever written.

That my writing would be worse than I was writing before I took that break.

The fear that no matter how much I write, I’ll never be published.

I would, in fact, sit down at my table every single day for three weeks, only to come away with no words written down.

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”Don’t Ever Let Fear Turn You Against Your Playful Heart.”

Each one of us has something to contribute. That’s the truth. But many times we don’t feel that way. We are told we are not enough, that we’re not ready, and that we lack what is needed, by others. And even by ourselves. The lies we are told can hold us back from the gifts we were made to give.

At younger ages, it can easier to be faithful to our creativity and our dreaming than to our security. That seems to flip as we get older. But it doesn’t have to. There are steps each of us can take today to use those inspired parts of ourselves and use them. It could be singing, teaching, serving or learning, what is it that you long to contribute? Don’t let fear turn you against your playful heart. Let yourself be inspired again. You might be surprised at the impact it has–on you, and on those around you.

 

“An Individual Develops Courage By Doing Courageous Acts”

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“An individual develops courage by doing courageous acts” — Aristotle

Fear is your brain’s pre-programmed response to something scary.  It is completely natural for a spooky thought or image to be imprinted in your head, and make it hard for you to sleep. Small amounts of fear are positive for your health, but when it takes over it can interfere with your peace and happiness. Whether you’re afraid because of a movie, a natural disaster, or even spiders, there are ways of coping.

”Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”

Mark Twain

The magic happens outside your comfort zone! Well-meaning … is fraught. So what’s the scientific case to be made for doing things that scare you? … “My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get … You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me.

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I begin writing this post, and then stop. I return to it the next day, only to freeze up again so that I can watch Netflix or get some ice cream or even better to do something “productive” like clean my house or catch up on sleep or read some bullshit book about how if you just think happy thoughts and watch Teletubbies your fear will go away.

I’m engaging in a dance of stupidity, but I feel that I can’t help myself. Why? Because I’m scared. I’m scared because I’ve had a mammoth amount of psychological, cultural and environmental conditioning. I spent my first few decades agonizing over what people thought of me and living a recipe comprised of one part action, five parts hiding, so it’s not hard to see how I ended up giving years of my life to everything except what was most important to me, wondering what I was doing with my life.

I was relinquishing my power repeatedly, day by day, and it felt like there was nothing I could do about it.

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I had some great “help” with this growing up. Some of my earliest memories involve being ostracized for living with a disability, wanting to die in the wake of devastating seizures, and fighting periods of debilitating depression.

As a kid, I was too afraid to do anything about it. On the surface, I appeared to be fine, but internally I was a time bomb. My life became a cataclysm of shame. I had periodic successes—moments of authenticity —but I did all I could to hide that from the world. I gave a fuck about everything I didn’t need to give a fuck about and not nearly enough of a fuck about what really mattered.

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But not now. I no longer really give a shit about what people think of me, most of the time. But here’s the kicker: I’m not in a position to say this because I’m strong, I can say this with confidence because I’m weak, and I know I’m weak.

Many people ask me how I’ve managed to create a meaningful, “successful” life, despite my losses and the daily physical and neurological challenges I face. My responses are decidedly unsexy: I’ve found power in my vulnerability, strength in my weaknesses, and resilience in my trials. I’ve forced myself to become disciplined and focused, through thousands of hours of tedious, hair-splitting practice, and by intentionally putting myself in uncomfortable, constraining environments. 

I speak to people about their struggles all the time, and the most common thread that binds most people’s adversities together is fear: fear of being judged, fear of failing, fear of abandonment, and on and on.

 

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One of my biggest issues with the personal development space is that the vast majority of responses to questions surrounding fear are grounded in mindless platitudes. People are told that if they just take responsibility for their fear or tell themselves how awesome they are every morning or follow so-and-so’s seven steps to confidence, their lives will be transformed and they’ll conquer fear forever.

Bullshit. We’ll never conquer fear. It’s literally hardwired into our brains and serves a very important evolutionary purpose. Unfortunately, we also happen to live in an age of rampant loneliness and individualism, which exacerbates the usage of our favorite cocktail of idiocy: platitudes. In so doing, we pathologize fear in a way that’s not entirely dissimilar to how we pathologize grief.

We’re happy to acknowledge people’s fears when they seem to “beat” them, but when people are paralyzed by fear we’re much quicker to ridicule and marginalize them; treating them as if there’s something wrong with their fears. This creates an ethos of humiliation, which is passed down from generation to generation in a cycle of shameful insanity.

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This ethos is horrific because it essentially says if you can’t beat your fears, you’re a loser, a coward, or a weakling. You’re not entitled to people’s respect, so piss off. This isn’t just cruel, it’s ridiculous. Why? Because our abandonment of the fearful only exacerbates the fear. And since we’re all afraid, it’s no wonder we’re all beginning every year “resolving” to move beyond our terrors only to come to the end of the year and find that we’re just as scared as we were 12 months prior. I’m not very prescriptive in my writings, because I’d much rather challenge you to think and come to your own conclusions, and the reality is that there aren’t any clear-cut answers to these types of questions.

This is ultimately what leads to our killing our fears. The caveat is that we’ll be killing them for the rest of our lives. And the only way to do that is via action in the face of fear. After all, what is courage if not the decision to take meaningful action when fear is smiling at you?  They’re simple, but not easy, so if you want these to have any real effect on your life, you actually have to do them. I’ve radically transformed my life, and I return to them regularly.

The Moirai (Moerae)-” Decide Fates Or Person’s Destiny”

The Moirai (Moerae), also referred to as the Fates, represent the idea of “destiny” in Greek mythology. The Ancient Greeks had a habit of creating deities to represent abstract concepts as a way of explaining their world. However, the Moirai do more than just represent destiny – they are the personification of it. It is understood that the Moirai controlled people’s lives in different ways from the time they were born to the time they died.

It is interesting to note that the word, Moirai, meant a portion or a part of a whole in Ancient Greek. The connotation here is that it referred to a portion of a bounty, as would be the case if people were to divide up a treasure. Thus, the Morai were seen as being keepers of a person’s destiny, or her specific allotment of life. Here’s more information about who the Moirai were and the role they played in Greek mythology.

Who the Moirai (Moerae) Were

It is largely understood that the Moirai, or the Fates, were three of the six children that Themis, the goddess of Justice, and Zeus, the king of the gods, had together. The other three children were the Horai, or the Hours. The names of the three Fates were Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos. They each had their own, unique characteristics.

  • Clotho. She was known as the spinner because she “spun” the very thread of a person’s life. She spun the thread from her Distaff directly to her Spindle.
  • Lachesis – Once Clotho spun the thread, Lachesis would measure it for each person. Each person had different lengths of thread, indicated that they all had different life spans.
  • Atropos – She was responsible for cutting the thread, which indicates that she controlled when life would end. She also chose the way each person would die.

As you can see, Clotho was always associated with the beginning of life. She essentially created it by spinning the thread. Lachesis controlled the length of a person’s life, and Atropos was always associated with death. Thus, the three Fates essentially represent Birth, Life, and Death.

The Appearance of the Moirai

Unlike their siblings, the Horai, the Moirai were always depicted as ugly old women. Note that the Horai were always depicted as young, beautiful women. The Ancient Greeks appeared to have feared the Moirai. After all, one of the Fates (Moerae) were said to have controlled every aspect of a person’s life, including their death. As a result, most Ancient Greeks feared them and as a result, they imagined them with unflattering appearances. They were also depicted as crippled, stern, inflexible, and severe. They were usually depicted together as a group of three and they were often depicted with their objects. For instance, Clotho was usually shown with her spindle and Atropos was depicted with her cutting shears.

The Moirai, also referred to as the Fates, were an interesting part of Greek mythology. They were three of the children of Themis and Zeus and they were always associated with a person’s destiny.

The Moirai (Moerae)-'' Decide Fates Or Person's Destiny''

The Moirai (Moerae), also referred to as the Fates, represent the idea of “destiny” in Greek mythology. The Ancient Greeks had a habit of creating deities to represent abstract concepts as a way of explaining their world. However, the Moirai do more than just represent destiny – they are the personification of it. It is understood that the Moirai controlled people’s lives in different ways from the time they were born to the time they died.

It is interesting to note that the word, Moirai, meant a portion or a part of a whole in Ancient Greek. The connotation here is that it referred to a portion of a bounty, as would be the case if people were to divide up a treasure. Thus, the Morai were seen as being keepers of a person’s destiny, or her specific allotment of life. Here’s more information about who the Moirai were and the role they played in Greek mythology.

Who the Moirai (Moerae) Were

It is largely understood that the Moirai, or the Fates, were three of the six children that Themis, the goddess of Justice, and Zeus, the king of the gods, had together. The other three children were the Horai, or the Hours. The names of the three Fates were Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos. They each had their own, unique characteristics.

  • Clotho. She was known as the spinner because she “spun” the very thread of a person’s life. She spun the thread from her Distaff directly to her Spindle.
  • Lachesis – Once Clotho spun the thread, Lachesis would measure it for each person. Each person had different lengths of thread, indicated that they all had different life spans.
  • Atropos – She was responsible for cutting the thread, which indicates that she controlled when life would end. She also chose the way each person would die.

As you can see, Clotho was always associated with the beginning of life. She essentially created it by spinning the thread. Lachesis controlled the length of a person’s life, and Atropos was always associated with death. Thus, the three Fates essentially represent Birth, Life, and Death.

The Appearance of the Moirai

Unlike their siblings, the Horai, the Moirai were always depicted as ugly old women. Note that the Horai were always depicted as young, beautiful women. The Ancient Greeks appeared to have feared the Moirai. After all, one of the Fates (Moerae) were said to have controlled every aspect of a person’s life, including their death. As a result, most Ancient Greeks feared them and as a result, they imagined them with unflattering appearances. They were also depicted as crippled, stern, inflexible, and severe. They were usually depicted together as a group of three and they were often depicted with their objects. For instance, Clotho was usually shown with her spindle and Atropos was depicted with her cutting shears.

The Moirai, also referred to as the Fates, were an interesting part of Greek mythology. They were three of the children of Themis and Zeus and they were always associated with a person’s destiny.

”Living On A Moment”

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.

To live in the moment, or now, means being conscious, aware and in the present with all of your senses. It means not dwelling on the past, nor being anxious or worrying about the future.

When we concentrate our attention on the present we focus on the task at hand. We give our full attention to what we are doing and we let go of outcomes.

The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.

Seizing each moment in life allows us to prolong its value and make it more meaningful. Rather than seeking quantity of time, when we live in the moment we enjoy and savor every minute. We don’t sacrifice quality for quantity.

Of course, this doesn’t mean we don’t need to plan, set goals or prepare for the future. We can do all of these things and still enjoy each moment as it unfolds.

For instance, if we have set a goal to exercise each day, we would carry on with it while enjoying the actual process, or moment, of exercising (or at least be in the moment of it).

When we train ourselves to live in each moment, we immerse ourselves in it and begin to discover its beauty and wonder. We learn to focus and how to manage our energy. Professional athletes understand and employ this kind of focus very well. They know that accomplishment and success are a result of the skillful management and balancing of energy.

To make every moment count we must embrace it. Everything we do and every person we come in contact with deserves our full attention. Even when resting we should savor the moment. It gives us the opportunity to recharge, renew and gain clarity.

Quite often we put huge expectations on ourselves and our lives. We rush to do this, hurry up with that, without actually enjoying the process. What’s the rush? Where do we think we’re going?

If we don’t stop and think about where we’re at, we’re probably missing the point. Instead, when we appreciate each moment and garner the lessons from it, we live consciously, purposefully and responsibly.

Likewise, when we live in the past and don’t let go of painful experiences, perceived wrongs, or difficult times, we condemn ourselves to a present and future of the same. We cannot change the past. We can, however, come to terms with it, know that it’s over, and move on.

Living in the present moment creates the experience of eternity.

Living in the moment means letting go of the past and trust in the future. When we are positive and optimistic in the present, we open the possibility of a positive and promising future. We owe it to ourselves to make every moment count – now!

Tips To Live On The Moment:-

  • Train your mind to focus on the current activity.
  • Engage in, and feel what you are doing. Enjoy the process.
  • Learn relaxation techniques in order to be present in each moment.
  • Take notice of your surroundings – sights, sounds, smells, ambiance.
  • Listen attentively to the conversation of others, music, even silence.
  • Savor your food and drink. Taste each morsel.

''Living On A Moment''

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.

To live in the moment, or now, means being conscious, aware and in the present with all of your senses. It means not dwelling on the past, nor being anxious or worrying about the future.

When we concentrate our attention on the present we focus on the task at hand. We give our full attention to what we are doing and we let go of outcomes.

The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.

Seizing each moment in life allows us to prolong its value and make it more meaningful. Rather than seeking quantity of time, when we live in the moment we enjoy and savor every minute. We don’t sacrifice quality for quantity.

Of course, this doesn’t mean we don’t need to plan, set goals or prepare for the future. We can do all of these things and still enjoy each moment as it unfolds.

For instance, if we have set a goal to exercise each day, we would carry on with it while enjoying the actual process, or moment, of exercising (or at least be in the moment of it).

When we train ourselves to live in each moment, we immerse ourselves in it and begin to discover its beauty and wonder. We learn to focus and how to manage our energy. Professional athletes understand and employ this kind of focus very well. They know that accomplishment and success are a result of the skillful management and balancing of energy.

To make every moment count we must embrace it. Everything we do and every person we come in contact with deserves our full attention. Even when resting we should savor the moment. It gives us the opportunity to recharge, renew and gain clarity.

Quite often we put huge expectations on ourselves and our lives. We rush to do this, hurry up with that, without actually enjoying the process. What’s the rush? Where do we think we’re going?

If we don’t stop and think about where we’re at, we’re probably missing the point. Instead, when we appreciate each moment and garner the lessons from it, we live consciously, purposefully and responsibly.

Likewise, when we live in the past and don’t let go of painful experiences, perceived wrongs, or difficult times, we condemn ourselves to a present and future of the same. We cannot change the past. We can, however, come to terms with it, know that it’s over, and move on.

Living in the present moment creates the experience of eternity.

Living in the moment means letting go of the past and trust in the future. When we are positive and optimistic in the present, we open the possibility of a positive and promising future. We owe it to ourselves to make every moment count – now!

Tips To Live On The Moment:-

  • Train your mind to focus on the current activity.
  • Engage in, and feel what you are doing. Enjoy the process.
  • Learn relaxation techniques in order to be present in each moment.
  • Take notice of your surroundings – sights, sounds, smells, ambiance.
  • Listen attentively to the conversation of others, music, even silence.
  • Savor your food and drink. Taste each morsel.