”UNDERSTANDING LETTING GO AND GOING WITH THE FLOW”

What has to happen inside a person before he can let go of attachments that are harming him? The attachment can be physical, such as a house or keepsake; it can be emotional, such as resentment about an incident or fear of an unwanted outcome. Attachments can be needs—the need to understand everything completely, or the need to force things into an order he can manage. Attachments can be relationships or jobs, or even dreams.

By the time we’ve reached midlife, most of us have had to grapple with an attachment that needed detaching. We will go through this many times before we’re done with our journeys. It might help us to reflect on what the process of detachment is for us because each of us has a process that is unique to our personality, history, and situation.

”When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need”.

While sitting in a Tibetan temple sanctuary, after days of silence in a meditation retreat, I suddenly felt a strong flow of energy and awareness falling deep into the cave of the heart, that spaciousness to the right of the center of the chest that the great Indian sage ”Guru Rama” described as a connecting point with pure consciousness. Although I had been a meditator and a student of spiritual traditions for many years, there was still a twinge of fear, as the sensation was one of losing myself, my mind, my history — losing everything I knew if I allowed myself to fall.

Among the fearful impulses, there was a single thought that arose to support me: “I don’t care if I lose it all — I’ve wanted freedom all my life”. At this, consciousness began falling, falling through my body and into another space, one that had the sensation of ever-expanding light ether, the kinesthetic feeling of love, and the quality of no-boundary, no limitation and no me. Awareness was above a vast sea that I now feel represented human thinking and confusion, where arms were outreached to be pulled out. I had fallen out of my mind! The heart was so expanded with radiant love it felt as if it had burst.

I’ve no idea how long this vision lasted, or when awareness of separation returned along with my body. I had no interpretation at the moment, only the sensation of ecstasy. Later that night I was wired with energy and consumed by joy, so I sat in my car in order not to disturb all the people at the retreat who were sleeping, and I shouted my thanks to all the people and moments in my life that had led up to this experience. I felt completely graced and completely connected to every part of the universe.

This was the most profound letting go of my life.

Since that day I have found many other moments in which letting go was the only way to freedom. Every day there is an opportunity to hold on to a belief, a position, a painful memory or resentment, irritation, or having my own way. In spiritual circles, the focus is often surrendered, and students struggle to “surrender” themselves in hopes of discovering more of who they are. But this letting go is much more clear. It is simply not allowing a thought to control the moment, but instead to step aside and consider “Perhaps this does not matter.” To what degree is the belief, position, emotion or memory really supporting the Truth you are seeking, the spiritual depth you desire, the quality of life or relationship you have committed to? Aren’t most of the things to which you hold the only habit? Aren’t they just the patterns of an identity that defines you as separate?

We, humans, get caught in our conditioned systems, like computers that keep spinning at those moments we are seeking new information. As long as they spin we cannot see what we need. Our recycling thoughts hold us back from the grace of the moment, by generating fear, doubt, stubbornness, resistance, depression, anger — we each have our own unique patterns. The concept of surrender makes us feel we will completely let go of ourselves forever. The thought itself tends to cause resistance as all the other parts of us that want the expression to stand up to be counted. But letting go can happen at any moment, and needs to happen moment-by-moment when we are faced with the parts of our personal identity that are blocking our ability to be free. It is not a forever releasing, at least not at first. We can grow into it. It is in the small moments of taking a position we can learn to let go.

There are many opportunities to practice letting go. We can let go when there is a flush of anger when we are cut off by a car, or by someone in line. We can let go of resentment when someone gets a promotion we missed. We can let go of thinking about the time we said the wrong thing in an embarrassing moment. We can let go of believing we are not good enough to awaken or experience the truth of who we are. We can let go of beliefs about ourselves, about others, even about our spiritual traditions.

These kinds of letting go opportunities do not trigger a permanent shift at first, but are a practice. Some letting goes just happens, like a wave of energy that passes through and drifts into the ethers. At others we must sit with the energy of our feelings, allowing awareness to fully fall into and penetrate what is beneath, get at the deeper feeling or memory, and meet it with love and acceptance. Very often the hurt of the moment is simply a recycling of an event in the past that has not been released energetically. Meeting it with compassion opens our capacity to let it go and to be free to meet whatever will arise next with more openness and dispassion.

Letting go of an issue or position or feeling does not mean one does not respond. It allows the response to come from a deeper place with more clarity and less emotion, to see possibilities that did not exist before. I had a friend tell me once that her grandfather, an American, had taught her to always look for 3 explanations for whatever arises. I’ve found this an intriguing way to explore those things I might disagree about or fail to understand. It promotes openness, creativity and the willingness to let go of a locked-in point of view. It encourages looking from the heart and not just the head, which is primarily governed by those recycling thoughts of our history and conditioning.

”Holding on is believing that there’s a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future”.

Letting go of the little things allows a quality of peace and appreciation to grow within because it opens up much space inside of us where we have been holding on to old out-dated experiences — much like a closet needs to be emptied out from time to time. Awakening to our true nature requires an empty closet, a quiet and open space inside, a fearless meeting of nothing. We can be filled with grace when we are willing to let go of what we think and feel even momentarily, and just be completely open to this very moment. Letting go of the little things is a way to prepare for the beauty of realizing what really matters to you if you are seeking spiritual liberation.

”The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

Pain will leave you when you let go”

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''UNDERSTANDING LETTING GO AND GOING WITH THE FLOW''

What has to happen inside a person before he can let go of attachments that are harming him? The attachment can be physical, such as a house or keepsake; it can be emotional, such as resentment about an incident or fear of an unwanted outcome. Attachments can be needs—the need to understand everything completely, or the need to force things into an order he can manage. Attachments can be relationships or jobs, or even dreams.

By the time we’ve reached midlife, most of us have had to grapple with an attachment that needed detaching. We will go through this many times before we’re done with our journeys. It might help us to reflect on what the process of detachment is for us because each of us has a process that is unique to our personality, history, and situation.

”When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need”.

While sitting in a Tibetan temple sanctuary, after days of silence in a meditation retreat, I suddenly felt a strong flow of energy and awareness falling deep into the cave of the heart, that spaciousness to the right of the center of the chest that the great Indian sage ”Guru Rama” described as a connecting point with pure consciousness. Although I had been a meditator and a student of spiritual traditions for many years, there was still a twinge of fear, as the sensation was one of losing myself, my mind, my history — losing everything I knew if I allowed myself to fall.

Among the fearful impulses, there was a single thought that arose to support me: “I don’t care if I lose it all — I’ve wanted freedom all my life”. At this, consciousness began falling, falling through my body and into another space, one that had the sensation of ever-expanding light ether, the kinesthetic feeling of love, and the quality of no-boundary, no limitation and no me. Awareness was above a vast sea that I now feel represented human thinking and confusion, where arms were outreached to be pulled out. I had fallen out of my mind! The heart was so expanded with radiant love it felt as if it had burst.

I’ve no idea how long this vision lasted, or when awareness of separation returned along with my body. I had no interpretation at the moment, only the sensation of ecstasy. Later that night I was wired with energy and consumed by joy, so I sat in my car in order not to disturb all the people at the retreat who were sleeping, and I shouted my thanks to all the people and moments in my life that had led up to this experience. I felt completely graced and completely connected to every part of the universe.

This was the most profound letting go of my life.

Since that day I have found many other moments in which letting go was the only way to freedom. Every day there is an opportunity to hold on to a belief, a position, a painful memory or resentment, irritation, or having my own way. In spiritual circles, the focus is often surrendered, and students struggle to “surrender” themselves in hopes of discovering more of who they are. But this letting go is much more clear. It is simply not allowing a thought to control the moment, but instead to step aside and consider “Perhaps this does not matter.” To what degree is the belief, position, emotion or memory really supporting the Truth you are seeking, the spiritual depth you desire, the quality of life or relationship you have committed to? Aren’t most of the things to which you hold the only habit? Aren’t they just the patterns of an identity that defines you as separate?

We, humans, get caught in our conditioned systems, like computers that keep spinning at those moments we are seeking new information. As long as they spin we cannot see what we need. Our recycling thoughts hold us back from the grace of the moment, by generating fear, doubt, stubbornness, resistance, depression, anger — we each have our own unique patterns. The concept of surrender makes us feel we will completely let go of ourselves forever. The thought itself tends to cause resistance as all the other parts of us that want the expression to stand up to be counted. But letting go can happen at any moment, and needs to happen moment-by-moment when we are faced with the parts of our personal identity that are blocking our ability to be free. It is not a forever releasing, at least not at first. We can grow into it. It is in the small moments of taking a position we can learn to let go.

There are many opportunities to practice letting go. We can let go when there is a flush of anger when we are cut off by a car, or by someone in line. We can let go of resentment when someone gets a promotion we missed. We can let go of thinking about the time we said the wrong thing in an embarrassing moment. We can let go of believing we are not good enough to awaken or experience the truth of who we are. We can let go of beliefs about ourselves, about others, even about our spiritual traditions.

These kinds of letting go opportunities do not trigger a permanent shift at first, but are a practice. Some letting goes just happens, like a wave of energy that passes through and drifts into the ethers. At others we must sit with the energy of our feelings, allowing awareness to fully fall into and penetrate what is beneath, get at the deeper feeling or memory, and meet it with love and acceptance. Very often the hurt of the moment is simply a recycling of an event in the past that has not been released energetically. Meeting it with compassion opens our capacity to let it go and to be free to meet whatever will arise next with more openness and dispassion.

Letting go of an issue or position or feeling does not mean one does not respond. It allows the response to come from a deeper place with more clarity and less emotion, to see possibilities that did not exist before. I had a friend tell me once that her grandfather, an American, had taught her to always look for 3 explanations for whatever arises. I’ve found this an intriguing way to explore those things I might disagree about or fail to understand. It promotes openness, creativity and the willingness to let go of a locked-in point of view. It encourages looking from the heart and not just the head, which is primarily governed by those recycling thoughts of our history and conditioning.

”Holding on is believing that there’s a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future”.

Letting go of the little things allows a quality of peace and appreciation to grow within because it opens up much space inside of us where we have been holding on to old out-dated experiences — much like a closet needs to be emptied out from time to time. Awakening to our true nature requires an empty closet, a quiet and open space inside, a fearless meeting of nothing. We can be filled with grace when we are willing to let go of what we think and feel even momentarily, and just be completely open to this very moment. Letting go of the little things is a way to prepare for the beauty of realizing what really matters to you if you are seeking spiritual liberation.

”The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

Pain will leave you when you let go”

”Life Full Of Sarcasm”

Sarcasm can be defined as a ”sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark, or a bitter jibe or taunt.”

Its distinctive quality is that it is more effective when spoken, as compared to write, because of vocal inflections that can give it greater emphasis. The first record of the term” sarcastic” was in 1695 when its referred to the use of sarcasm. It is clear that this form of comment the sarcastic content of a statement will be dependent upon the context in which it appears.

Cultural perspectives on sarcasm vary widely. Some cultures and linguistic groups find it offensive to varying degrees while others understand the sarcasm to rally to be a joke.

Is There Any Benefit From ‘Sarcasm”?

‘Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence,” wrote that connoisseur of wit, Oscar Wilde.

Weather sarcasm is a sign of intelligence or not, communication experts and marriage counselors alike typically advise us to stay away from this particular form of expression. The reason is simple: sarcasm expresses the poisonous sting of contempt, hurting others and harming relationships. As a form of communication, sarcasm takes on the debt of conflict.

And Yet, our research suggests there may also be some unexpected benefits from sarcasm: greater creativity. The use of sarcasm, in fact, promotes creativity for those on both the giving and receiving an end of sarcastic exchanges. Instead of avoiding sarcasm completely in the office, the research suggests sarcasm, used with care and in moderation, can be effectively used and trigger some creative sparks.

It said that Sarcasm involves constructing or exposing contradictions between intended meanings. The most common form of verbal irony, sarcasm is often used to humorously convey thinly veiled disapproval or scorn. ” Pat, don’t work so hard!!”, a boss might say upon catching his assistant surfing the Internet. Early research on sarcasm explored how people interpret statements and found that, as expected, sarcasm makes statements sound more critical. In real scenarios in which, for instance, 1. one person did something that could be viewed negatively, such as smoking, and 2. a second person commented on the behaviour to the first person, either literally(”I see you don’t have a health concern from your lungs”) or sarcastically(” I see you have a healthy concern for your lungs”). Participants rated sarcasm to be more condemning than literal statements. In a similar study, participants were encouraged to empathize either with a person behaving in a way that could be construed as negative or with a second person commenting on the first person’s behavior. Both perspectives prompted participants to rate sarcastic comments by the second person as more impolite relative to literal comments.

Why Might Sarcasm Enhance Creativity?

This is because the brain must think creatively to understand or convey a sarcastic comment, sarcasm may lead to clearer and more creative thinking. To either create or understood sarcasm, the tone must overcome the contradictions between the literal and actual meanings of the sarcastic expressions. This is a process the activates, and is facilitated by, abstraction, which in turn process that activates, and is facilitated by, abstraction, which turn promotes creative thinking.

Sarcasm can be interpreted negatively, and thus cause relationship costs. So, how do we harness its creative benefits without creating the type of conflict that can damage a relationship? It comes down to trust. Our studies show that, given the same content and tone, sarcasm expressed towards or receive from somewhat we trust is less conflict provoking that sarcasm expressed towards or received from someone we distrust. Of course, if we were to vary the tone and content, it would make difference too-given an extremely harsh tone and critical content, even trust might not be enough.

Given the risks and benefits of sarcasm, your best bet is to keep salty remarks limited to conservation with those you know well, let you offend others-even as you potentially help them think more creatively.