”Things I Learned From My Mother – Be Yourself”

“Pain changes your life forever. But so does healing from it.” 

The hell of watching someone die isn’t just the actual dying part. It’s the years, months, weeks and days leading up to it.

It’s the pain of watching day by day the most important person in your life slip further and further away from you while there is nothing you can do to stop it.

You don’t lose this person in one moment. You lose them gradually throughout the whole time they are sick. As time goes on, they become less and less the person that they were before this illness took over.

I don’t know how to find even slightly pleasant words to describe what watching a parent die feels like. I don’t know how to even try to explain it without curse words and screaming.

BetterHelp |Confidential Online Counseling and Online Therapy.

Talk To A Psychiatrist & Get Help Today!!!

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/psychologists/reasons-to-choose-an-online-psychiatrist/

It’s absolutely terrifying. It’s gut-wrenching. It sends you through a whirlwind of feelings and emotions. You don’t even know who you are anymore. It takes over your life.

 

When You Grieve the Loss of Your Mom …

What I learned was my mom taught me everything by example. I became the confident, independent man I am from watching my mom. She set the precedent.

My mom taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be. She wanted me to succeed in everything I tried. She made it known that things were different when she was a young girl. She didn’t have all of the opportunities I had. It was important to her that I took full advantage of all that life had to offer me.

I learned so much from my mom. But the greatest things she ever taught me was to live. To follow my dreams. To be happy. And I am all of these things today because of her.

My mom’s most valuable life lessons were taught to me when she was dying. When you’re saying goodbye to your mom, it doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are, or how much money you have. It just sucks. But even through death, my mom continues to teach me new things.

Having to say goodbye to my mom was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. There are no words, yet you have to say something. I don’t even remember what I said. And now, it just doesn’t matter. Because now I realize that nothing had to be said.

My mom was diagnosed with kidney failure when she was forty-one years old. Now that I am twenty-six, I realize how young forty-one is. Every day I think, a little over fifteen years from now and I’ll be the age my mom was when she was given a death sentence. It scares the hell out of me.

I am also haunted by the fact of how hard it must have been on my mom. She knew she was going to die. She knew she was leaving the love of her life behind and abandoning her three kids.  I know that has to be what it feels like to say goodbye to your kids. No matter how old they are.

I remember going to the hospital and the nurse pulling us aside to tell us our mom was crying all night. I was shocked. I don’t know why. I just never stopped to think that my mom was scared. She was always my rock. She took care of all of us, always. She never felt sorry for herself and she was always so strong.

Knowing my mom had kidney-failure was one thing. Knowing my mom was scared was quite another.

My mom lingered on for many months. She was seen by many specialists at many hospitals. For a while there, we had hope. But then a last-ditch-effort trip to another world renown hospital would end all the hope and speculation. Now the goal would be to make her comfortable. To pray for peace.

Hospice came and set up shop in our family room. This was our new reality. We had visitors in and out every single day. Our lives were shattering, yet the outside world kept spinning.

Thankfully my mom didn’t suffer long. The end came fast. So fast we couldn’t all be there.  My cousins woke me up and said to come home by next flight. A nurse was taking my mom’s pulse and said it would be soon. Sometime in the next few hours, was her guess.

My mom died an hour later. With just my dad and my brother there. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know what was happening. I sat next to her for a while after she was gone. Staring at her. Willing for her to wake up. She didn’t.

A few minutes later, her friends arrived. My dad met them on the front porch as I stayed with my mom. I could hear them wailing. It was unbearable. They came inside and said their goodbyes.

My uncle and brothers made it home soon thereafter. My brothers were heartbroken that they were not there when our mom died. I was haunted that I had been there. It turns out our final good-byes did not matter. It was the life we had all shared together that did. And that could never be taken away from us.

 

Now we had to face the cruel reality that life, does indeed, go on. Without our mom. Like it or not. But we had each other and everything that our mom had instilled in us. And that’s how life went on. And continues to go on. Every damn day.

Saying goodbye is never easy. But it’s impossible to say goodbye to someone who is always going to be part of you.

Advertisements

”Our Life Connection With Mother”

”Peace is the beauty of life. It is sunshine. It is the smile of a child, the love of a mother, the joy of a father, the togetherness of a family. It is the advancement of man, the victory of a just cause, the triumph of truth.”

The word mother itself is symbolic of God. The day you conceived and then open your eyes for the first time in this world, the one person that poured all the love and affection she holds in her heart is the mother.

What she does for a child since the day he arrives can’t be done by anyone else. Nurturing to the best, loving without any condition, taking care, teaching how to walk, talk and telling the basics of life since the children are some of the roles that can’t be performed well by anyone other than a mother.

A mother undoubtedly plays the most vital role in our overall development. Her importance and significance in our life are superlative to all other possessions. No matter how much you succeed the one working and praying behind the scene for you is always a mother.

Promising you to give the best things possible at her end, she is the one to be thanked for making you what you are today. Her unconditional love and devotion are incomparable to everything else in this world. And when it comes to dedicating one day in the year just to her, it should be made as special as she is in our lives.

By the way, there are much more than reasons to show how grateful you are that she is in your life. If it weren’t for your mom, you wouldn’t be breathing right now. If nothing else, you should thank her for that. Mothers are the emotional backbones of the family. They provide the holding place for everyone’s feelings and do their best to keep us from being hurt.

maxresdefault

”The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.”

  1. Who would kiss your boo-boos to make it all better if she weren’t around? Mothers have the magic touch (and kiss) to help us heal our wounds, physical and emotional.
  2. Truly, our mothers worked hard and made sacrifices, so our lives would be better. There are not a lot of people willing to do that, so let her know you appreciate it.
  3. Mothers are forgiving—so forgive her in return. Perhaps nothing will be as valuable a gift to both of you as forgiveness. Open your heart and drop your resentments. Now that’s love.
  4. When you want to climb the tallest mountain, your mother will make your lunch for you. She is the one who will support your dreams when no one else will. She will also remind you to wear clean underwear.
  5. Her boundaries made you a better person. You may not have liked some of her decisions, especially when you wanted to party with your friends, but she did keep you out of trouble. Look at some of your friends without a mom who has cared that much.
  6. A mother’s ears and eyes hear and see everything. They also have a computer-like memory for all the good (and some of the bad) that came your way. It’s nice to have someone with whom you can reminisce about your whole life.
  7. Mom taught you to be a functioning adult. That was her job, and without that, making it through the modern world would be very hard. Your mom may have forced you to do your homework, but now you see how important it was.

10. A mother’s smile, when it is directed toward you, makes your day a whole lot better. All she needs is to know that she has helped you to be and feel your best. Say thank you.

”Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.”

Make it special for her, and it will come back to you. There is something beyond words to express to the person who helped you to walk and talk, who gave you your first puppy, who helped you with school, and who gave you all the love she possibly could. Show her you care by acknowledging her value in your life. And if you don’t have your mom around, take someone who is like a mother to you out for brunch.