”The Year We Fell Apart And That’s Okay”

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“Look for something positive each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.” 

Not because I don’t think it will be (because, okay, it will be). But because that’s not helpful to you where you’re standing right now. That’s a thing we say to each other when we can’t find any other words.

It will be fine. It will be okay. Everything will work out.

These are all real and true statements that apply to you, no matter where you stand. I have enough trust and faith for the both of us that everything you and I are walking through at this moment, we’re both going to come out the other side wiser and happier than we ever thought possible.

But the truth is, those words don’t help. Instead, they usually cut us on a level we didn’t know pleasant words of comfort had the ability to cut.

Because even if it’s true that it will be okay… it’s not okay right now, and sometimes that’s all we can see and feel and hear. Sometimes that’s all we can register inside our weary bodies.

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It’s not okay that someone you loved is no longer living and breathing and giving their gifts and presence to this world. It’s not okay that everything is falling apart around you, that your world is imploding more and more every moment of every day. It’s not okay that the bank accounts are at zero, or possibly into the negative, with no sign of relief. It’s not okay that someone was nasty or cruel to you in ways that shattered your heart. It’s not okay that you’re exhausted to the point you can’t make it through a single day without curling into a sobbing ball on your kitchen floor. It’s not okay that you’re swimming in failure or shame or a grief like you’ve never known.

Whatever it is for you… it’s not okay right now.

So we tell each other it will be okay… because we don’t know what else to say, and we don’t know how to climb into the sh*t with someone and just hold their hand while they cry or scream or rage it out.

I’m not going to tell you it’s going to be okay:-That everything is going to work out.
I’m not going to tell you it will be fine or to buck up.
That you’ve got this and you’ll see it soon.

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Instead, I’m going to tell you that I see your pain:- I understand how much it sucks right now. How your heart is heavy and your spirit is weary. How it’s taking everything you have just to get through the day. I see you. I feel you. I love you. I know… I get it, I really do. And I also know exactly how much willpower it takes to not punch someone in the face for telling you it will be okay. Especially when it feels like “being okay” is completely out of reach, no matter how hard you fight to find your footing and dig your way out of the darkness that’s nearly consuming you. I see your pain and I’m holding you in my heart with all the love I have to give. Because it’s okay that everything is not okay right now.

I’m going to tell you that you’re stronger than you know:-Because you are, my friend. You are powerful beyond measure whether you know it or not. You have a purpose and a contribution to this world that only you can make. I know it doesn’t feel like it when all you can do is find a way to get yourself out of bed each morning when the hours begin to weigh on your chest like a ton of bricks and breathing becomes more difficult the longer you’re forced to be awake and upright. But you’re doing it, love. It may not be at a rate or pace that you want, but you’re doing it. Just by getting out of bed and finding a way through the next moment that smacks you in the face. And you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.

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I’m going to tell you that trust and faith go a long way:-I’ve never tried to pretend that trust and faith are easy. They’re not. Not even a little bit. But they are all we have when nothing is okay and everything is falling apart. They are all we have to make it through to what’s next. I say this from a place of walking through some seriously dark life chapters.

Chapters filled with depression that nearly killed me by my own hand, with being so broke that I owed the bank money and was being threatened with losing my house. Chapters that ripped someone from my life in the most abrupt and tragic way, and that have torn everything known and stable and secure from my hands. Somewhere along the lines, I found trust and faith, and I’ve never let go, regardless of the chaos around me. Trust and faith. It’s all we have, and they go a very long way when everything feels impossible.

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I’m going to tell you that you’re not alone:-Even though I know it feels that way like you’re the only person in the history of the world who has experienced this much loss and pain and struggle. Even the happiest and successful people have been through some sh*t, or are probably walking through their own storms right now.

You’re not alone. You do not have to do this alone. If ever there was a thing that lifted me out of the depths of grief, it was being reminded that I wasn’t alone. That I didn’t have to do this alone. You, my friend, are not alone.

I’m going to tell you that I love you:-Because I do. Because you’re here and you’re having a bad day. Because you’re human and that makes you beautiful and messy and all things lovable.

”How I Stopped Feeling Trapped in a Life I Didn’t Want”

 

 

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“Happiness is never found in materialistic things; it exists in things that cannot be physically possessed. Therefore, happiness is priceless. It can never be purchased.”

Money can’t buy you love. It can’t buy you happiness either.

Today’s materialistic world often urges us to buy the coolest gadgets, the trendiest clothes, bigger and better things, but research shows that possessions and purchases don’t buy us happiness.

So while we are being pushed towards materialism, it’s for monetary gain by corporations, not for our own happiness. Unfortunately, it’s hard to escape the trap of materialism, and find happiness in other ways than buying stuff online or finding joy in the mall.

But it’s possible. Here’s a guide to finding a materialism-free life and discovering true happiness.

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Escaping Materialism
All around us, there are messages telling us to buy stuff. On the Internet (blogs included), we see continuous advertising trying to get us to purchase a product or service. It’s the main reason for television, and movies are continually made with products placed throughout, so that we aren’t always sure what is advertising and what was put in there by the director.

Flip on the radio or open up a newspaper or magazine, and you’re bombarded my more advertising. Go to a shopping center/mall, and the urge to buy comes from every direction.

This message to continually buy, buy, buy … and that it will somehow make us happpier … is drilled into our heads from the days of Happy Meals and cartoons until the day we die. It’s inescapable.

Well, almost. You could go and live in a cabin in the woods (and that actually sounds nice), or you could still live in our modern society, but find ways to escape materialism.

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Here are some suggestions:

  • Limit television. Do you really enjoy watching TV for hours? Think about which shows you really, really love, and only watch during that time. When the commercials come on, go do something else. Or use Tivo to watch TV. You can even give up cable TV entirely, if you’re brave — I have, and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done.
  • Eschew the news. Journalists will never tell you this, but if they’re completely honest, they’ll confess that the most important part of any news company, from TV or radio news to Internet or print new, is the advertising division. It’s the division that pays the paychecks of the rest of the company. The news is important in driving traffic to the advertising. So when you’re watching or reading news, you’re really being sucked in to advertising. Try this instead: boycott the news for a week. I’ve done it for about two years, and it hasn’t hurt me a bit. In fact, it’s helped me a lot.
  • Limit Internet reading. I’m not saying you should cancel your cable Internet subscription or anything. I love reading blogs. But find just those that you truly love reading, that give you the most value, and limit your reading to those. And just do it once a day, for 30 minutes or so. If you can do that, you’ve gone a long way towards tearing yourself away from advertising.
  • Give up magazines for books. Magazines are also designed with advertising in mind. And they rarely give you much value. Try reading an ad-free book instead. It’s a much better use of your time.
  • Don’t go to the mall or Walmart. The only purpose of these places is for you to spend money. If you just want a place to spend your Saturday afternoon, find a place where you don’t need to spend money to have fun — a park or a beach, for example. If you need to buy something, go to a single store (not the mall) and go in and get what you need. Don’t browse and walk around looking at stuff. You’ll get sucked in.
  • Monitor your urges. When you’re online, or watching TV, or at a store, keep track of the number of times you want to buy something. Keep a little notebook or index card, and just put tally marks. Once you become more aware of your urges to buy things, you can start to control them. If you could control them, limiting your consumption of media (see above tips) isn’t really necessary — although I would argue that it still gives you a better quality of life.
  • Use a 30-day list. If you still really want to buy something, put it on a list, and write down the date you added the item to the list. Now tell yourself you cannot buy that item for 30 days. It might be difficult, but you can do it. When the 30 days have passed, if you still want it, then buy it. But you can’t buy anything (besides essentials like groceries) without putting it on the list for 30 days first. Many times, our urges to buy something will pass during this waiting period.
  • Declutter. I find it pretty amazing to see all the crap I buy over a period of years, when I go through my closets and other possessions and start getting rid of stuff I don’t use or want anymore. It’s a gratifying process, and at the same time, it makes me realize how useless all our consumer shopping is. I don’t need any of the stuff! When you do this, you may be less likely to buy more stuff. Especially if you enjoy the decluttered look of your house as much as I do.
  • Find other forms of entertainment. There are other things to do besides watch TV or movies or read magazines or newspapers or the Internet. Try playing sports or exercising, or playing board games or creating art or writing or reading a book. Try doing fun things with your kids or visiting relatives and other loved ones. Try volunteering with a charity. I’m sure you could come up with 100 free or cheap things to do.
  • Buy used. When you get the urge to buy something, and you’re convinced that it’s needed, try finding it used instead of new. Look in thrift shops or garage sales or flea markets or similar places.

 

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A True Path to Happiness
So, if you’re able to escape materialism, how can you find true happiness? There are many ways, and each of us is different, but here are some things I suggest trying:

  • Grateful list. Make a list of things about which you’re grateful in your life. Give thanks for them daily.
  • Think positive. Try eliminating negative thinking from your life, and thinking positive instead.
  • Small pleasures. Make a list of small things that give you great pleasure. Sprinkle them throughout your day. Notice other small pleasures as you go through your day.
  • Kindness. Practice random acts of kindness and compassion. Do it anonymously. Help those in need. Volunteer. Make someone smile.
  • Love. Make an intimate connection with your loved ones. Develop your friendships. Spend time with them, converse, understand them, make them happy.
  • Health. Exercise and eat healthy — it sounds trite, but it can bring great happiness to your life.
  • Meaning. It’s often useful to find meaning, either through a church or spiritual way, or through those we love in life or through the things we’re passionate about. Give yourself a purpose.
  • Flow. Eliminate distractions, and really pour yourself into whatever you’re doing. If it’s writing an article, like this one, really put yourself into it, until you forget the outside world.
  • Know yourself. Become attuned to what brings you happiness. Study yourself. Learn about what you love, and about your ability to love. Increase your capacity for compassion.

”Banish Your Guilt Demons”

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I feel like I don’t deserve to be here because I let everyone down. I just want to slink into a corner and keep my eyes on the floor…Or maybe just quit and go home? I even feel guilty about feeling guilty!

For many of us, guilt is like a certain kind of old friend — someone whom we willingly let in the door, and then can’t kick out.

Guilt shows up when we act in a way that doesn’t sync with our goals and values — whether procrastinating, or breaking a promise, or taking credit for someone else’s work. At its best, guilt acts like a moral compass, prompting us to reflect on what we’re doing (or not doing), and then make constructive change.

But when guilt settles in for the long haul, serving up daily helpings of blame and shame without adding anything constructive to the mix, we find ourselves living with a parasite. Guilt shadows the good things in our lives. It whittles down our energy and self-worth. That’s when we begin cheating ourselves of our personal dreams and needs. We make a habit of putting ourselves second, feeding our guilt, and starving our self-esteem — making it harder and harder to be our fullest, brightest, most creative selves.

There are three common forms of guilt that can rob us from living fully — if we let it. Instead, let’s kick out the guilt, rather than repeatedly kick ourselves. Here are some ways to start.

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THE GUILTY-PLEASURE PARADOX
“Guilt-free” is a phrase that gets tossed around a lot: guilt-free TV, guilt-free desserts, guilt-free shopping… It seems that wherever there’s pleasure involved, there’s guilt to be had. We often don’t allow ourselves to do what we want because we believe we haven’t earned it. And, even when we do say yes, that guilty little voice in our heads spoils the fun of a nightcap at the close of a hard day, or that beach getaway with friends.

Ironically, research shows that guilt is a pretty ineffective way to control behavior. In a 2013 study published in Appetite, psychologists found that people who linked chocolate cake with guilt rather than with celebration had more trouble losing and maintaining weight. Instead of acting as a positive motivating force, guilt actually leads to feelings of helplessness and lack of control.

While it’s healthy to have rules for responsible behavior — a glass of wine with dinner is one thing; a bottle of wine is another — unrealistic expectations of never ever indulging set you up for failure. And a dull life.

Try these tips:

1. Let go of borrowed beliefs. If you feel that something you want to do is undeserved, ask yourself who said so. Does society say that it’s wrong? Your mom? Your childhood baseball coach? Then ask yourself what you believe — and respect your own judgment.

2. Calculate the consequences. What’s the fallout if you indulge? And what can you do to mitigate it? For example, if the consequence of ordering dessert is falling off your diet wagon, how can you counterbalance it? A morning trip to the gym, perhaps? (Although you probably don’t want to make this a habit.)

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THE TRAP OF A GUILTY CONSCIENCE

A guilty conscience can be your personal Alcatraz — rocky, labyrinthine, and impossible to escape. But punishing yourself with thoughts of what a terrible person you are doesn’t help you make amends for that terrible (or perhaps not-so-terrible) thing you did. Instead, it makes you self-absorbed and self-protective. You stop putting your best foot forward — cheating not only yourself, but other people in your life.

The thing is, guilt without behavior change is a cop-out. If you did something wrong — even if the victim is no one but yourself — acknowledge it, try to repair the damage, and commit to not doing it again. Once you emancipate yourself from your guilty slammer, your world will get brighter and fuller with possibility.

3. Forgive yourself. Okay, so you did something you’re not proud of. That’s part of being human, but it doesn’t define who you are. Forgiving yourself requires new perspectives. Talking through your guilt with someone else often lightens the burden. When you speak your thoughts out loud it usually removes much of the sting — though it may not happen in a single conversation. You might also try talking to yourself as if you were another person. What would you say to someone else who is in your position?

4. Break up with your guilt. Once you’ve made honest efforts to make amends, box up your guilt up and get rid of it. Try creating some kind of ritual that helps you divorce your guilt — such as writing a positive affirmation or letter to yourself, or burning or throwing away a physical artifact that represents your feelings of shame.

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THE GUILT-INDUCING MYTH OF PERFECTION
The bogeyman of perfection plagues us throughout our lives, and guilt (perfection’s enfant terrible) rears its ugly head when we fall short of what we think we ought to be — whether it’s the woman who “has it all” or the straight-A student obsessed with the highest score.

Often, this guilt is shaped by fear of disappointing others: You’re a rotten parent because you missed a school play; you’re a bad friend because you forgot a birthday; you don’t deserve to be happy because your traditional-minded family says you make poor choices…Every time you fall short of the impossible, you beat yourself up a little more.

To lessen the loathing, try to shift your thinking to what’s truly achievable — the tips in last week’s Unstuck post “The secret to work-life balance” can help — and create tactical ways to juggle and prioritize life’s many demands. Because when guilt leads, you try to please everyone, ironically, you please no one — particularly yourself.

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5. Mute the peanut gallery. When you feel lessened by guilt because you couldn’t do everything perfectly, replace the negative voice with a positive one; for example, instead of “I served dinner 15 minutes late,” shift to “I spent extra time getting the sauce perfect, and I know my friends will really appreciate that.”

6. Own your failures. Mistakes only diminish us when we don’t learn from them. Use our Failure Analysis Checklistto reflect on what went wrong, and to surface important lessons that will help you prevent the situation from happening again. The mistakes we make can make us wiser, smarter, and more compassionate — but only when we stop palling around with guilt and embrace constructive change.

 

”Sexuality, Spirituality and Relationships”

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”sexual energy is a powerful force, that when used consciously, can be a great catalyst for spiritual growth and healing on many levels.”

To manifest your full sexual energy you have to surrender. There’s no way around it. You must completely inhabit your body and be in the moment. If not now, when? Holding back, fixating on performance, or letting your mind drift is the end of passion. Don’t go there. I’ll show you how to get out of your head and into your bliss.

What is true sexual energy? I define it as proudly claiming your erotic self and mindfully channeling sexual energy. You never use it to hurt, manipulate, make conquests, or get addicted to the ego trip of sensual pleasure at the expense of others. This is bad karma. Nor do you allow others to harm or disrespect you. Sexual energy is not just who you are in bed, though that’s an aspect of it. You also make electric linkages to your body, to spirit, to a lover, to the universe. For me, it’s a turn-on when sexual power is blended with spiritual power.

Too many of us in this heady, frantic world lack the rich experience of having a primal connection with someone. Sexual energy can offer us this, a satisfaction you can never get from your intellect alone. As you open to both sex and spirit, whether you’re single or part of a couple, you’ll be a vessel for erotic flow, enjoying pleasure without insecurities or inhibitions.

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”Os-ho On Sex And Spirituality”

  1. A Misunderstood Guru:-

    Osho is erroneously referred to as a sex guru. However, the simple truth is that his views on sex were radically different from the view of others in a sex-starved nation, and he was misunderstood for that. In reality, he showed his followers the beautiful connect between sex and spirituality, by emphasizing how beautiful sex could become if it received the right dose of spirituality……

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  2. Peaks Of Silence:-

    “Holding the hand of your woman or man, why not sit silently? Why not close your eyes and feel? Feel the presence of the other, enter into the presence of the other, let the other’s presence enter into you; vibrate together, sway together; if suddenly a great energy possesses you, dance together – and you will reach to such peaks of joy as you have never known before. Those peaks have nothing to do with sex, in fact they have much to do with silence.”

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  3. Become Meditative In Love:-

    “And if you can also manage to become meditative in your sex life, if you can be silent while making love, in a kind of dance, you will be surprised. You have a built-in process to take you to the farthest shore.”

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4. Sex Makes You Intelligent:-

“So really, it happens that the more sexual a person is, the more inventive he can be. The more sexual a person is, the more intelligent. With less sex energy, less intelligence exists; with more sexual energy, more intelligence exists; because sex is a deep search to uncover, not only bodies, not only the opposite sex body, but everything that is hidden.”

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5.From Sex To Spirituality To Prayer:-

“When love expresses through you, it first expresses as the body. It becomes sex. If it expresses through the mind, which is higher, deeper, subtler, then it is called love. If it expresses through the spirit, it becomes prayer…”

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6.From Sex To Bliss:-

“If everything goes well and sex is natural and flowing, it is a beautiful experience, because you can have a glimpse of the second through it. If sex goes really very deep, so that you forget yourself completely in it, you can even have a glimpse of the third through it. And if sex becomes a total orgasmic experience, there are rare moments when you can even have a glimpse of the fourth, the turiya, the beyond, through it…”

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7.Hatred Happens When Sex Fails:-

“But if sex fails, then many perversions happen to the mind. These perversions are expressed in hatred. Hatred is a failure of sex, a failure of love energy. Violence, lust for money, the continuous conflicting attitudes of egos: war, politics – these are all sex perversions.”

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8.Unnatural Sex Leads To Hunger For Power:-

 

“A man whose sex is not perverted, cannot become a politician. It is impossible. All politicians as such need deep sexual therapy, otherwise their whole energy will be moving to gain more and more power. When sex is natural, you feel power, you are not seeking it. Sex is potentiality, it is power. You feel it showering on you, you don’t seek and search for it. But when you miss it, then a great urge arises to seek power: politics is born. Then wars, continuous violence, are born; hatred, anger, and a thousand and one types of perversions.”

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9.From Love To Sex, Not From Sex To Love:-

“You can love a person because the person satisfies your sex. This is not love, just a bargain. You can make sex with a person because you love; then sex follows just like a shadow, part of love. Then it is beautiful; then it is no longer of the animal world. Then something of the beyond has already entered, and if you go on loving a person deeply, by and by sex disappears. Intimacy becomes so fulfilling, then there is no need for sex; love is enough unto itself. When that moment comes, then there is the possibility of prayerfulness dawning upon you.”

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10.Love Suffices:-

“When two lovers are in such deep love that love suffices and sex has simply dropped – not that it has been dropped, not that it has been suppressed, no – it has simply disappeared from your consciousness, not leaving even a scar behind; then two lovers are in such total unity!”

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11.Sex Divides:-

“Sex divides; the very word sex comes from a root, which means division. Love unites, sex divides. Sex is the root cause of division. When you make sex to a person, woman or man, you think it unites you. For a moment, it gives you the illusion of unity and then a vast division suddenly comes in. That’s why, after every sex act, a frustration, a depression sets in. One feels that one is so far away from the beloved…”

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12.Just Love:-

“When love goes deeper and deeper, and unites more and more, there is no need for sex. Your inner energies can meet without sex, and you live in such unity.”

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13.Total Involvement;-

“That’s why orgasm is becoming more and more difficult. Ejaculation is not orgasm, to give birth to children is not orgasmic. Orgasm is the involvement of the total body: mind, body, soul, all together. You vibrate, your whole being vibrates, from the toes to the head. You are no longer in control; existence has taken possession of you and you don’t know who you are. It is like a madness, it is like a sleep, it is like meditation, it is like death.”

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14. Love Not Just Foreplay:-

“Psychologists say that love is nothing but a foreplay to sex. They are right – because they have no other specimen to study. They study you and then they come to conclude that love is nothing but a foreplay – just creating a situation in which sex can happen, nothing else. So when sex has happened, love disappears. It is just like when you feel hungry, you gravitate toward food, and look at food with enchanted eyes. But when your hunger is satiated, you look away from the food. All the enchantment is lost.”

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15. Finally, Sex Flowers Into Love:-

“When psychologists say that love is nothing but a foreplay – just a mannerism – they are right, because they do not know any other type of man…when sex becomes a meditation, it flowers into love, and this flowering is a movement towards the divine.”

”Beauty Is Always In The Eye Of The Beholder”

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”Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that’s when you’re most beautiful.”
Zoe Kravitz
Go and tell yourself that you are beautiful. And that your life is so worth living. 
Take a fair look in the mirror. Just have a look at you for a little while. Look at you as if you
were another person. Just someone you never knew. And then go tell yourself in every honesty,
that you are lovely even when you’re blue. Just go and tell yourself that you are quite ok.
And please repeat these words in every single way.
Go and tell yourself that you are beautiful.
Every minute, every hour, and every brand-new day. Please have look at you,
you as a person are ok. With all the pros and cons you’ll see.
And if you’ll fail, just do not care, and start another day.
Just take it to step by step,
by repeating it as many times as you can say. Again, again and just again. 
So many times, each day, Until the final wake-up call
that makes you finally see, ‘I am the best one in the world. At least I am, to me’

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Why do we want to be perfect? What is it, perfection? Is it a beauty? Is it having a very balanced personality, without any negative emotion like anger or sadness? Like horrific things never will occur in one’s life? Would that be perfect?

Can we please just agree that beauty is a state of mind what has nothing in common with the outer appearance of someone or something. Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. And the physical beauty itself will fade away as life goes on. When someone gets older, the inner beauty will become more and more visible. Beauty really has nothing to do with our physical appearance, but everything about the way we live and the way we maintain our relationships with the world around us.

Beauty has nothing to do with a required reaction to something nasty in your life. Your emotions are real and you have every reason to respect them and to feel them. And you have every reason to be respected in every way.  Repeat that you are beautiful until you are feeling better.

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I just want to support all people who are struggling with their bodies, struggling with their self-acceptance and self-esteem, and who are still believing the ridiculous demands of today’s society.

Just believe that only one thing is true: you are ok! And you deserve to feel beautiful. Because you are.

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“I’m Beautiful”

You are beautiful because beauty comes from within. You’re beautiful regardless of what everyone else thinks of you because it only matters what you think of yourself. You’re beautiful because you are made out of stardust and there’s nothing more beautiful than that. You’re beautiful because everything about you is beautiful its self. Your smile lights up the world, your kind heart
makes the world a better place and your mind is limitless.

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“I’m Intelligent”

You are smart because you know what truly matters in life. You are bright because you’re hopeful. You are sharp because you know when to draw the line. You are wise because you learn from your mistakes, you are always improving yourself. You take responsibility for your own actions and you are brave enough to apologize when you are wrong. You are intelligent
because you pick your battles. You are intelligent because you treat everyone as your equal.

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 “I’m Powerful”

You are stronger than you think you are. You grew up at a young age and that made you the person you are today. You know your worth and no one can take that away from you. And you fight for what you deserve, your standards and your dreams. You are powerful because you understand that real power relies on love and kindness, not in hate and violence. You are powerful because you use your voice softly. You are powerful because you know who you are and you know what you need to do so you can get where you want. You are powerful because you are unstoppable. And you are powerful because you don’t need anyone.

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“I’m Enough”

You are enough just the way you are. You don’t need to change who you are to please others. You don’t need to speak less so someone can like you more. You don’t need to change your interests or dreams to match someone else’s. The right people in life will not try to change you. They will love you for who you are and they will accept you with your flaws, imperfections, and shortcomings. You don’t need to alter your beliefs and lifestyle so you can be someone’s right match. You need to own who you are. And you need to always choose self-improvement because although you are enough, you are work in progress.

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“I’m Loved”

Whether you believe it or not, you are loved. Your parents love you even if they are not that good at showing it. Your friends adore you although sometimes you feel like they are critical of you or hard on you. But, they are like that because of how much they love you and how much they want you to succeed. Your partner loves you even if they don’t tell you or show you enough. Your coworkers enjoy your company and think that you are invaluable. Look around, because love is all around you.

It doesn’t make sense to call ourselves ugly because we don’t really see ourselves.

We don’t watch ourselves sleeping in bed, curled up and silent with chests rising and falling with our own rhythm.

We don’t see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing.

You don’t see yourself looking at someone with love and care inside of your heart.

There’s no mirror in your way when you’re laughing and smiling and happiness is leaking out of you.

You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly yourself.

”Sometimes We Screw Things Up When Life Is Good”

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”Maybe it’s a little depressing to think that my vision of a perfect world is actually so messed up, but I think it means that I don’t really understand what ‘perfect’ is.”

Feeling like a total mess-up in life? Become kinder to yourself by relaxing your rigid pass/fail mindset.

Today, I want to talk to you about what you should do when you feel like you are an utter, utter screw-up in life and steps you can take to help make yourself feel a bit better, that you don’t feel like as much of a mess-up and you get a bit more realistic about yourself.

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That got your attention, didn’t it?

And what is the number one way that people screw up life? By taking it for granted. Assuming there will be time to fix things, find the right person, make the changes you should and be happy… later.

Think about the last time you lost someone close to you. It could be that they passed away, maybe it was a friendship that suddenly went south, or possibly a relationship that ended abruptly.

If you’d have known that it was the last hug, kiss or conversation, would you have made more of an effort? Would you have listened deeply, while appreciating the sound of their voice? Would you have given them a real kiss, not just the hurried, routine version? Would you have said “I love you” with every fiber of your being?

We never know when our last moments, kisses and conversations with the ones we love are going to be. Yet we choose to ignore this truth and take the people and things in our lives for granted.

We put them off, prioritize other things that aren’t actually more important… and we certainly don’t show up in each moment with those people and things (jobs, experiences, life) with the attention, present-minded focus and care that we should.

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We’re All Human: –And that means that this is a natural state of being. We fear death, goodbyes, and loss… so we don’t keep that a top of our mind. We assume that it will be down the road, we’ll deal with it then. We’ll get better and more focused later. It’s okay to put these things off for just a bit longer because there’s always the weekend. Except that sometimes there’s not.

Sometimes tomorrow really never comes and life really does change in an instant.

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Live With a Sense of Urgency:- Choose to be more than “just human” and live with a heightened sense of urgency. Not in the sense that “there aren’t enough hours in the day” or that you have way too many things on your to-do list. You probably do, but that’s not my point…

My point is that there’s value in living your life constantly aware of and accepting the fact that one day, it will end. Whether that’s a breakup, loss of life or time running out… all things must come to an end. Don’t allow yourself to be one of those people that kicks themselves for having wasting precious moments. Rise above the human condition…

Do better. Love deeper. Experience more. Be present.

Say I love you like you really, truly mean it.

We throw around “I love you” in relationships like we say hello and goodbye. We just do it because we should. Sure, we love them… but do we take that pause before speaking to really feel and express it? No. We just pop the words out with a standard kiss on the way out the door.

We aren’t present in those moments. We don’t give them the love they deserve. We don’t give ourselves the love that we deserve. And this goes for more interactions than just the “I love you’s” that you’re throwing around mindlessly.

Do better. Love deeper.

Make real memories with the ones you love.

Life is busy and sometimes it’s hard to make time for the important things. The anniversaries, the birthdays… the seemingly unimportant moments of moving into a new home together or that first big promotion at work. We say that we’ll celebrate later or assume that it’s not a priority. But what will you have when you look back at your time here? A lot of missed opportunities to experience life to its fullest?

Make life a celebration. We’re only here once, that we’ll know of, so live it like you mean it! Live it fully. Show up to each moment, truly experience it and create real memories.

Don’t just go to the park, have a picnic. Make it a full day, take pictures and be present for it. Work and expectations will be there when you get back either way, better to leave them behind and really show up in the moments that count.

Never, ever settle for less than you want or deserve.

Even if you get to live a long one, life is short. Time flies. Everyone says it and you know it’s true. Why waste it with people, jobs or things that are less than you deserve? Less than you want?

If you want a love that is deep, passionate and life-altering, then don’t spend another minute with someone that you don’t connect with deeply. If you want a job that allows you to do great things, leave your mark and feel fulfilled at the end of each day, don’t settle for any old job that will cover the bills.

Don’t stay with people or in a job because you feel like it’s the best you’ll get… or that “it’ll do.” You can do better if you feel like “it’ll do.” You can have extraordinary, passionate, deep, mind-blowing, colorful, lively, exciting, romantic and so much more. You just have to stop settling.

If you feel the slightest twinge of “meh” or “that’ll do,” run in the opposite direction. You can waste years of your life at the wrong job, with the wrong person or in the wrong city.

I’m not saying you have to make huge, life-altering changes right this minute. But change things. Put the plans into place to move your life from “it’ll do” to extraordinary. You deserve it.

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Just Be You:- Don’t waste time trying to fit in, live up to your family’s expectations or be the perfect [fill in the blank]. Just be you. Be messy, moody, opinionated, passionate, eccentric, wild and picky. Don’t eat what you don’t like, don’t go to movies you hate, don’t do things just because everyone else wants to.

Don’t give a single thought to what other people think of you. It doesn’t mean be insensitive, destructive or mean, it means stop caring if everyone likes you. Stop worrying that you’re embarrassing your mother or that the others will think you’re lame. It’s who you are. They can take it or leave it.

There’s no sense in wasting time pretending to be someone you’re not so that you’ll fit in with the people you don’t belong with. Life is short, spend it with people who love and appreciate the real you.

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Take Action Now! :-You deserve better. You deserve a life that has deep connections, meaning, memories, love, and happiness. Take a moment to assess your life…

Where are you not showing up? Where can you do better and stop taking people and things for granted? Where you can you be more fully yourself?

If you only had a year to live, how would you want to spend it? When you have that answer, share with me one step you’re going to take this week to make that dream a reality.

”A Father’s Tears And Fears Are Unseen”

 

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A father’s tears and fears are unseen, his love is unexpressed, but his care and protection remain as a pillar of strength throughout our lives.

The elders are always there to look after the younger members. The strong are always there to help the weak. We’ve often seen the old man placing a hand on the sunken shoulders of the disappointed young man – who is out of luck and has fallen on bad times – pats him on the cheek, and says,

(Don’t worry son…I’m there for you)

Reassured by the old man, the young man gets a new zest for life and is happy to face the world again.

So we care a lot about our families – their needs, wants, and aspirations.

Nowhere else in the world will you find a father worried day and night about how he will be able to fund his child’s higher education. Even Parents are often not appreciated enough, and even at times, taken for granted. However, a parent’s love for their child often knows no boundaries.

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Dad- You are our pillar of hope, you have held this family together, we are happy to be your children:-

Dad is a parent whose existence is not less important to a mother.

Although the father was never given birth or breastfeed their children thanks to the struggle and hard work in supporting the family is an extraordinary devotion that we must respect. During this time father is always responsible for the needs of children and their families. He never bothered himself, he felt no fatigue, he opposed the scorching sun and pouring rain he brushed in order to provide for the family and the kids loved.

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Father always protects his family and his children from dangerous dangers. In addition, the father also always give wise advice to his children, always give direction so that his children do not get lost. Dad always gives all the best for the people he loves. Father always tries to obey everything, his kids want. For him the child is the most precious treasure in the world, the happiness of the child is the top priority for him, he is the one who most wants to see his children happy and successful. His child’s happiness is happiness for him while the child’s sorrow is a pain for him. So great was the struggle and sacrifice of a father who had been given to his family and children. But sometimes many children are actually even denied him as if they forgot all the service and sacrifice of their children.
A father willingly hurt in order to protect and give the best for his son. A father is willing to sacrifice his time only for the child. Father willingly set aside his own interests for the sake of the child.

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Companions when we mention the one that is service and sacrifice that has been made by a father then it will not be endless. This will awaken or reminds us all of the sacrifices that have been a father to give to children and their families. where the first sacrifice is seen that when he was willing to hurt to get the balloon boy in the tree. The pain he felt was meaningless compared to the smile of the child’s happiness.

Howard, Ghislaine, b.1953; The Washing of the Feet

Parents have unconditional love for kids. With old age, parents become our kids and need love and care. Remember, a parent never retires. Maybe their words of wisdom don’t hold relevance in today’s world, but the experience is the best teacher. After all, sacrifices if a parent doesn’t even get love and respect, imagine the trauma they’ll suffer. The world is becoming smaller and we need to move places to grow professionally. We don’t need to drag our parents in their old age everywhere. Just genuine love and being there when they need us is more than sufficient for them to feel proud of their upbringing.

Remember, Parents, strive to make kid’s lives better before they come in this world and continue to do that till their last breath. The sacrifices they make for their children are innumerable.