”Don’t Ever Let Fear Turn You Against Your Playful Heart.”

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“ Stay focused on whatever you want to do and don’t doubt yourself.”

“I wish I could get back into writing. I haven’t written in so long.”

Just to give you a little background to this story, we’re old friends who first bonded over our mutual love for writing.

My friend tells me that she wants to get back into writing, but the stress that comes with her Job and the lack of time really gets to her. She doesn’t think she can get back into it after not writing for so long.

This post is for any writer who hasn’t written in a long time and wants to get back into it.

As you may already know, I’ve been writing for over a year. This doesn’t mean that I’ve been writing every single day.

I honestly don’t want to tell this story – a story where I’m painting the picture of the writer who’s had more failures than successes.

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In fact, I once went a year without writing because the stress of workload combined with a job was taking a toll on me, forcing me to stop writing.

But if this helps even one person, especially my friend, to get back to writing, I’ll continue to write this even if I don’t want to.

Last year, I had been writing every day – continuously for three months and had even achieved more than I’d set out to accomplish.

I then decided to take a break to work on a side project and go on vacation.

This break from writing was supposed to last three weeks but it ended up lasting 6 weeks.

Why?

Because when I tried to return to the habit of writing, I was failing.

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I’m sure it’s the same feeling you might’ve experienced at one point – where you sit in your chair, your fingers poised in the air as you try to get the ink to form the words in your head and onto the paper.

But you can’t. You just can’t get back into Writing.

There was a fear stopping me, just like I’m sure there’s a fear stopping you.

The fear the no matter what I wrote, it would somehow be the worst thing ever written.

That my writing would be worse than I was writing before I took that break.

The fear that no matter how much I write, I’ll never be published.

I would, in fact, sit down at my table every single day for three weeks, only to come away with no words written down.

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”Don’t Ever Let Fear Turn You Against Your Playful Heart.”

Each one of us has something to contribute. That’s the truth. But many times we don’t feel that way. We are told we are not enough, that we’re not ready, and that we lack what is needed, by others. And even by ourselves. The lies we are told can hold us back from the gifts we were made to give.

At younger ages, it can easier to be faithful to our creativity and our dreaming than to our security. That seems to flip as we get older. But it doesn’t have to. There are steps each of us can take today to use those inspired parts of ourselves and use them. It could be singing, teaching, serving or learning, what is it that you long to contribute? Don’t let fear turn you against your playful heart. Let yourself be inspired again. You might be surprised at the impact it has–on you, and on those around you.

 

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”Today Is Valentine’s Day”

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“There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.” – George Sand

Valentine’s Day is a time when people show feelings of love, affection, and friendship. It is celebrated in many ways worldwide and falls on February 14 each year.

What Do People Do?

Many people around the world celebrate Valentine’s Day by showing appreciation for the people they love or adore. Some people take their loved ones for a romantic dinner at a restaurant while others may choose this day to propose or get married. Many people give greeting cards, chocolates, jewelry or flowers, particularly roses, to their partners or admirers on Valentine’s Day.

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It is also a time to appreciate friends in some social circles and cultures. For example, Valentine’s Day in Finland refers to “Friend’s day”, which is more about remembering all friends rather than focusing solely on romance. Valentine’s Day in Guatemala is known as Day of Love and Friendship). It is similar to Valentine’s Day customs and traditions countries such as the United States but it is also a time for many to show their appreciation for their friends.

Things You Don’t Know;

 

Valentine’s Day is a beautiful day to celebrate the divine love you have for your partner or your better half. However, the origins of Valentine’s day are murky and there are only a few historical facts that support the lore. Yeah, Valentine’s day isn’t the day that how we celebrate it nowadays. It was something different back then and has a historical significance attached to it. Valentine’s day is called Saint Valentine’s day or the feast of St. Valentine. It is celebrated annually on 14th February in the honor of Saint Valentinus and since then this day is known for its culture, religious and romantic values. Many stories reflect the martyrdom of Saint Valentine for performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry. According to a legend, during his imprisonment, he restored the eyesight to the judge’s blind daughter and left her a letter signed ‘Your Valentine’ as a farewell.

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Ever since that day, 14th February is associated with romantic love and the tradition of courtly love flourished. Later in the 18th century in England, this day evolved as an occasion where lovers can express their love for each other by offering their partners flowers, confectionary items, greeting cards and more. However, there are various misconceptions that go around with valentine’s day and it has kind of polluted the essence of love and romance for this day.

It’s not just ‘any’ day where you get a date or a fling, have a romantic evening and the next day its over. Valentine’s day is a special day for people who are true, madly and deeply in love. Nowadays, this day has become just a mere day where the need for a partner arises only on this day or during this Valentine week. Guys and girls, men and women, Valentine’s day is not a one-day celebration where you spend an evening. It’s the day where you celebrate the love that you had for your partner for other 364 days in a year.

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The trend of tinder days has made this valentine’s day as a show off for people. You get a date for this day to gain popularity in the college or amongst colleagues, become a person who is talked about for days after valentine’s day and then its all over. It’s not necessary that you should have a date on Valentine’s day. You should have a date or a person with you on all 364 days with whom you feel protected, special, safe and respected.

Hope you all have great Valentine’s day this year…

”Happily Single”

 “I’m not sad about any of my life. It’s so unconventional. It doesn’t look anything like I thought it would.” ~Edie Falco. 

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I’ve realized that it’s not my responsibility to reassure people that I’m normal even though I’m single. I am normal. I’m just not married.

Some people lead their best, most authentic, most fulfilling, and meaningful lives by living single. I call these people “single at heart.” They embrace singlehood and live their single lives fully, joyfully, and unapologetically. There may also be people who do not quite make it into the “single at heart” category but who, all things considered, would still live a better life by living single than getting married.

Deciding whether to stay single is no small thing: Getting married is no royal road to health and happiness, despite all the claims you may have heard to the contrary. And there are important ways in which single people fare better than married people, personally and interpersonally. But legal marriage does grant automatic access to an array of more than 1,000 federal benefits and protections. It also offers instant status, credibility, privilege, and respect. Even though more people than ever are living single. People spend more years of their adult lives not married than married, we are still a nation of matrimaniacs.

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But marriage is also risky. A substantial number of people who get married end up getting divorced, often at a great emotional and financial cost. People who divorce also end up, on the average, less happy than they were when they were single. And staying married is no guarantee of emotional or financial well-being either.

So how can you know if you are one of those individuals who would live a better life as a single person than a married person?

Keep reading we will continue with this topic in my coming article.

”Letting Go Of What You Want Is The Only Way To Get It.”

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“Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between effort and surrender.” ~Danielle Orner

Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what’s past. “We’re living in a world that contributes in a major way to mental fragmentation, disintegration, distraction, decoherence. We’re always doing something, and we allow little time to practice stillness and calm.

When we’re at work, we fantasize about being on vacation; on vacation, we worry about the work piling up on our desks. We dwell on intrusive memories of the past or fret about what may or may not happen in the future. We don’t appreciate the living present because our “monkey minds,” as Buddhists call them, vault from thought to thought like monkeys swinging from tree to tree.

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Most of us don’t undertake our thoughts in awareness. Rather, our thoughts control us. “Ordinary thoughts course through our mind like a deafening waterfall,”,  In order to feel more in control of our minds and our lives, to find the sense of balance that eludes us, we need to step out of this current, to pause, and, as  to “rest in stillness—to stop doing and focus on just being.”

We need to live more at the moment. Living in the moment—also called mindfulness—is a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present. When you become mindful, you realize that you are not your thoughts; you become an observer of your thoughts from moment to moment without judging them. Mindfulness involves being with your thoughts as they are, neither grasping at them nor pushing them away. Instead of letting your life go by without living it, you awaken to experience.

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Cultivating a nonjudgmental awareness of the present bestows a host of benefits. Mindfulness reduces stress, boosts immune functioning, reduces chronic pain, lowers blood pressure, and helps patients cope with cancer. By alleviating stress, spending a few minutes a day actively focusing on living in the moment reduces the risk of heart disease. Mindfulness may even slow the progression of HIV.

Mindful people are happier, more exuberant, more empathetic, and more secure. They have higher self-esteem and are more accepting of their own weaknesses. Anchoring awareness in the here and now reduces the kinds of impulsivity and reactivity that underlie depression, binge eating, and attention problems. Mindful people can hear negative feedback without feeling threatened. They fight less with their romantic partners and are more accommodating and less defensive. As a result, mindful couples have more satisfying relationships.

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Mindfulness is at the root of Buddhism, Taoism, and many Native-American traditions, not to mention yoga.

“Everyone agrees it’s important to live in the moment, but the problem is how,” says Ellen Langer, a psychologist at Harvard and author of Mindfulness. “When people are not in the moment, they’re not there to know that they’re not there.” Overriding the distraction reflex and awakening to the present takes intentionality and practice.

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Living in the moment involves a profound paradox: You can’t pursue it for its benefits. That’s because the expectation of reward launches a future-oriented mindset, which subverts the entire process. Instead, you just have to trust that the rewards will come. There are many paths to mindfulness—and at the core of each is a paradox. Ironically, letting go of what you want is the only way to get it.

”Crazy Grief”

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”Grief is never something you get over. You don’t wake up one morning and say, ‘I’ve conquered that; now I’m moving on.’ It’s something that walks beside you every day. And if you can learn how to manage it and honor the person that you miss, you can take something that is incredibly sad and have some form of positivity.”

Terri Irwin

The irony is, when you are in the throws of grief you may really struggle to find the beauty and the joy in life and it may be quite unlikely that you would stop and admire the beauty of a rainbow or the vastness of an ocean. Those who cannot relate to these images begin to worry, what’s wrong with me that I don’t have such a Zen perspective? The inability to derive joy from things that were once pleasurable can feel a lot like depression and it can be frightening.

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Don’t worry you’re still not crazy. These are normal feelings. I know because I’ve experienced my own grief and I know because I’ve heard hundreds of other grievers talk about the same types of experiences.  (If you’re worried that you are actually experiencing a psychological disorder like depression, anxiety, or PTSD.

You’ve probably heard people say, ‘the first year is the hardest’, this is sometimes true.  Quite often, the second year is no picnic either, but at some point, things should get easier. The intense and unrelenting distress of acute grief will be replaced by less frequent moments of sadness, anger, and frustration. You will still have bad days, but you will know things are getting better when those days are outnumbered by ‘okay’ days.

This does not mean you are ‘getting over it’, moving on, or forgetting. An important part of healing is discovering the role your loved one will play in your life after their death. Of course at first, you hold on very tight, afraid if you let go your loved one will disappear completely. You hold on to items (not crazy), you leave rooms untouched (not crazy), you pay their cell phone bill so you can continue to hear their voice on their voicemail (not crazy). These things are not crazy and you may continue to do some of them forever, but some you will eventually let go of as your grip slowly loosens and you realize that nothing short of amnesia could make you really let go.

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And slowly…slowly…the faded colors of life become more vibrant. The world unthaws and you start to find beauty peeking through in places you would never have expected it. Your season of grief has left you weary but stronger. You know you will never be the same and you begin to accept that you must integrate your loved one and your experiences and continue to live…a little bit wary, a little bit wise, and a little bit crazy.

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”Reshimo- “Who In The World Am I? ”

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“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” …

Why are we living in this world?—Every child asks this question beginning around the age of five, and this is because within us is found a Reshimo (reminiscence), a spiritual gene that must be developed. It pushes us from within.

This gene, this desire, requires fulfillment, an answer to the question, “What are we living for? What is the meaning of life?” Later, we forget this question, and in our pursuit of life, we no longer return to it since we don’t have time to think about it and regard it as a useless thought.

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However, we see that this question constantly draws our attention in all kinds of situations throughout our lives, and considering how many people are in despair, get divorced, need drugs, and require antidepressants, we see that in spite of everything, this question still is very strong.

This gene is planted in us because at the end of our development, our evolution, we need to reach a state in which all of us ask the question, “What are we living for?” Why live?” “What is the meaning of life?”

It is possible to ask this question in another way: “Why does nature, which is so perfect and purposeful, create a person with such great potential, but leave him without an answer to the questions of how to build one’s life,  and what to achieve in life?”

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We see what tremendous wisdom is latent in every cell, in everybody, in the connection between us, and we see how much information we haven’t yet discovered! However, even from what we have discovered with the help of science, we see such a wonderful wisdom hidden in all of this rich mechanism, and yet, we who are at the summit of this science, at its peak, don’t see any meaning in our lives. How is such a thing possible? Without a doubt, there is a purpose to our existence, but we don’t know what it is and we need to discover it.

”Death Is Waiting For Us Anyways; Why Call On It Before Our Time?

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”I think my mother… made it clear that you have to live life by your own terms and you have to not worry about what other people think and you have to have the courage to do the unexpected.”

Caroline Kennedy

What Is Life?

LIFE is an invitation to learn, a school. We can learn something from every moment, good or bad.

LIFE is not static, it’s in constant movement, much like the waves of the ocean. Each wave that comes brings with it new experiences, and each one is different. So just like the bad ones can sometimes show no mercy, the good ones also come and refresh us. Nothing last forever.

LIFE is a gift; some beings (children) depart too soon and don’t have the fortune to know life. Those who have it should enjoy it.

LIFE is not only our own. It also belongs to those who surround us. We should take care of ourselves because we are important to others, even when sometimes we are not aware of that.

Each new day is a new experience. If we don’t live it, we don’t know what we’re missing.

We are the designers of our LIFE; it is our challenge to find beauty when just the opposite happens. It is possible and also brings rewards.

We all live through experiences that leave scars. However, there is always someone to give us a hand during those difficult times. The important thing is to accept that help. This is a lesson in and of itself.

Making an effort and dealing with problems makes us aware of how strong we really are. Therefore, all those things that upset us, are not so that we become weak, but so that we understand ourselves better and get to know who we really are.

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To LIVE is to discover something about ourselves of which we were not aware.

To LIVE is to look at ourselves in the mirror and discover a message of love in our own eyes.

To LIVE is to allow ourselves to fall in love, with someone, with something, or with life itself.

If death gives meaning to life, then consider it, but in order to learn to live better.

Death is waiting for us anyways; why call on it before our time?

Sometimes depression does not let us see the beauty of life.