”Inspire You To Live Your Best Life”

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”There is a part of me that still wants to go out and grab a backpack and unplug – not take a cell phone or even a camera and just get out there and experience the world and travel. I have yet to do that, but someday I hope.”

If you are an ADD’er like me, you probably need to find that place to unplug and relax. Sometimes it might be a break from work with something as simple as a walk. Other times, it might be a bigger decision like a vacation.

Cell phones, laptops, tablets, TVs, email, Facebook, Netflix…the list of ways you can spend your time plugged into technology goes on and on. They can be overwhelming, and slowly but surely they can take control of your life. Isn’t it about time we were in charge (no pun intended) of our own lives, and let go of our dependence on technology? Isn’t it time we learned how to be happy with ourselves?

If you’re wondering how to reduce tension in your life and be happy again, try living a more unplugged life. Taking time to unplug can help decrease stress, improve relationships, and give you an overall increase in freedom. There’s a big world out there just waiting to be explored, right? So how do you start? Where do you go and what do you do?

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Here are 10 ways to take a break from technology and plug yourself back into a fuller, happier life:-

  •  Turn your phone off or leave your phone at home for a few hours:-Taking time away from your home is one of the simplest ways to live life unplugged. It’s easier said than done, but it’s 100 percent essential to giving yourself a break and teaching yourself to disconnect while you pursue other interests. Go wireless and see what else you notice about your surroundings and relationships. You’ll get more out of the other ideas on this list if you can unshackle yourself from your hand-brain. Emails, texts, notifications, and calls will all be there when you get back, we promise.
  • Utilize recreation opportunities around you:-Whatever region you’re living in, explore your local terrain by using walking trails and parks. Tune into the sounds around you, even if you are in an urban area. Check your city’s website for information on walking paths and other recreation ideas.
  • Pursue a hobby or skill you’re passionate about:-What have you always wanted to learn or do but have never dedicated the time to? It could be anything from rock climbing to photography, making pottery to learning to cook fine Italian cuisine. Then keep at it; it’s easy to lose passion for a new hobby if you don’t dedicate time to it. Schedule time a few days a week to dedicate to pursuing your passions. Make sure to turn your phone and other devices off or put them out of your reach to eliminate distractions. Turn on your favorite music and enjoy doing something you love.
  • Start reading a book in a place you enjoy:-Reading can catapult you into life experiences you’ve never even dreamed of. Make sure to pick a genre that really pulls you in and interests you, even if it’s just light reading. Again, put distractions aside so you can allow yourself to get lost in your reading. Better yet, take your book to a park, coffee shop, or another favorite spot, so that interruptions are less likely to disturb you. Then, start reading until you don’t notice yourself turning the pages anymore.
  • Creative or journal writing…with a pen!!!Writing can be therapeutic, creative, or just a great way to wind down and clear your thoughts. Your life is a story and what better way to celebrate it than to document it. Go somewhere quiet, bring your favorite drink or snack, and just let your thoughts wander out onto the paper. Notebooks can be cheap but it can also be fun to splurge and get one that really represents your personality.
  • Stargaze:-The night sky has, historically, had a profound effect on humans—calming them, inspiring them, filling them with awe. Pick a clear, quiet night, and spend some time just contemplating the vastness of the universe we live in. If you live in the city, and light pollution makes it difficult to see the stars, trek out of city limits a little way, and stargaze while communing with nature.
  • Attend a performance:-Many people have forgotten, but people still perform on stages. Actors put on play productions, dancers have recitals, and musicians have concerts. Go attend a performing art, and experience the joy of seeing someone do something impressive. Depending on the performance, you may laugh, you may cry, you may do a little of both, but you’re sure to have a good time.
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”You Can Fly”Believe in Yourself ”

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”Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. ..Don’t let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things,,Follow your dreams, believe in yourself and don’t give up.”

As I grew up, at home and school it felt dangerous to be myself—my whole self, including the parts that made mistakes, got rebellious and angry, goofed around too loudly, or were awkward and vulnerable.

Not dangers of violence, as many have faced, but risks of being punished in other ways, or rejected, shunned, and shamed.

So, as children understandably do, I put on a mask. Closed up, watching warily, managing the performance of “me.” There was a valve in my throat: I knew what I thought and felt deep inside, but little of it came out into the world.

 

From the outside, it looked like I didn’t trust other people. Yes, I did need to be careful sometimes. But mainly, I didn’t trust myself.

Didn’t trust that the authentic me was good enough, lovable enough—and that I’d still be OK if I did mess up. Didn’t have confidence in my own depths, the core of me, that it already contained goodness, wisdom, and love. Didn’t trust the unfolding process of living without tight top-down control. Doubted myself, my worth, my possibilities.

And so I lived all squeezed up, doing well in school and happy sometimes—but mainly swinging between numbness and pain.

It’s been a lifelong journey to develop more faith in myself, to lighten up, loosen up, swing out, take chances, make mistakes and then repair and learn from them, and stop taking myself so seriously.

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Sure, things go wrong sometimes when you trust yourself more. But they go really wrong and stay wrong when you trust yourself less.

Nobody is perfect. You don’t need to be perfect to relax, say what you really feel, and take your full shot at life. It’s the big picture that matters most, and the long view. Yes, top-down tight control and a well-crafted persona may bring short-term benefits. But over the long-term, the costs are much greater, including stress, bottled-up truths, and inner alienation.

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With gentleness and self-compassion, take a look at yourself. Is there self-doubt, holding back, fear of looking bad or failing? If you imagine being your full self out loud, is there an expectation of rejection, misunderstanding, or a shaming attack?

Understandably, we are concerned about what seems “bad” or “weak” inside. But challenge that labeling: Are those things actually so bad, so weak? Maybe they’re just rattled, desperate, or looking for love and happiness in young or problematic ways.

Maybe you’ve internalized the criticism of others, and have been hugely exaggerating what is wrong about you.

And missing so much that is already right.

When you ease up and tap into your own core, when you are in touch with your body, in your experience as you express it—what’s that like? How do others respond? What are you able to accomplish, at home or work?

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Sure, be prudent about the outer world and recognize when it’s truly unwise to let go, take risks, speak out. And guide your inner world like a loving parent, recognizing that not every thought or feeling or want should be said or enacted.

Meanwhile, if you are like me and every single person I have ever known who has decided to trust one’s own deep self, you will find so much that’s right inside: so much knowing of what’s true and what matters, so much life and heart, so many gifts waiting to be given, so many strengths.

Be your whole self; it’s your whole self that you can trust. This day, this week, this life—see what happens when you bet on yourself, when you back your own play. See what happens when you let yourself fall backward into your own arms, trusting that they will catch you.

”I Love Those Who Can Smile In Trouble”

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” I love the those who can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.”

What does it mean to you to “fail better?” Better than someone else? Fail/fare a little better each time you try? Maybe it means to fail spectacularly! Go big or go home! Or how about failing but getting better along the way—getting better through failure—and learning something from the experience? I believe that is the key: to allow failure to be a springboard from which we succeed and grow.

How we handle failure is more important than how we handle success: –We are all going to experience failure at some point in our lives, and our attitude about that failure is what determines whether we bounce back or fall hard.

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1. Decide you want to bounce back:- The power of intention is amazing, and the simple, conscious decision or desire to bounce back will make it far easier for you to do so. When you decide you want to do something and spend a little time visualizing, parts of your subconscious, intuition and conscious mind all start working together towards that goal—it’s the power of positive thinking at work. Even if you have no idea how you will do it, why not start by telling yourself that you’d like to bounce back from this failure? How you speak to yourself is so important.

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2. When you fail at something, it isn’t about you:-Well, in a way it is, but it isn’t about your core personality, humanity or your soul. It’s much harder to bounce back when you take failure to heart too much and make it about your value as a person. Your importance to those who love you does not change when you fail; your potential to make a difference in the lives of those around you does not change. If anything, your potential increases with every failure experience you have, since the most painful events in life often give us the most valuable experiences and dramatic growth. Experiencing failure makes us more compassionate, and that also increases our capacity to make a difference in the world.

How can you make sure you don’t take failure too personally? Remind yourself—literally, tell yourself—that deep down, you are still you. The failure was just a thing that happened, like a hundred other things that have happened to you. Maybe you did some things that didn’t work out, but if you compare notes with every ridiculously successful person out there, you’d find they all have similar stories to tell. Since you survived, you can still thrive!

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3. Still breathing? Keep at it:- Often when we are rushed or stressed or have been through a trauma, we breathe shallowly and unevenly, which hampers our thinking and increases our anxiety. Stop from time to time and check your body to see how deeply you are breathing, and take a deep breath to reduce your stress levels and reset your brain waves. Some practices like yoga focus on breathing, but even without the exercise element, simply taking deeper, conscious breaths will improve your clarity and help you to learn important lessons from the failure.

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4. Reframe and start from where you are:- In the autumn of 1972, an unusually early frost hit the vineyards of Peachland, British Columbia, Canada. It was devastating: grapes still clinging to their vines froze into little globes of ice. The year’s grape harvest would have been a complete failure, except that the vineyard’s owner, Walter Hainle, decided to make wine anyway. He knew of a tradition in Germany of making sweet dessert wines from frozen grapes, and although he originally planned on keeping the wine for personal use, he decided to sell it six years later. The wine was one-of-a-kind, which means it commanded a premium price. Thus, a lucrative, ridiculously successful new wine market was born— ice wine. It worked with the Canadian climate rather than against it, and it would have never been discovered if it hadn’t been for what seemed like a failure at the time.

The ability to reframe a life event is directly related to our ability to bounce back. Practice on small, easy things, and decide that you want:

  • play the role of victim in this failure
  • let self-degrading thoughts take hold
  • let anger control you

Instead, try to see the situation from another perspective—the essence of reframing—and see what you might be able to learn from it all.

So, when you fail, begin from exactly where you are, look for opportunities, take a deep breath and get back in the game, knowing that you are learning valuable lessons along the way, having great new experiences and living life to the fullest! Vive la failure!

 

”Don’t Worry Be Happy”

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“ Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength. …“ If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry”

We often get so caught up with the future and how our lives will be months or years from now that we fail to recognise that the only moment we have is the present. Even though we know we cannot change anything that has happened to us in the past, we still can easily fall into the trap of dwelling on the past and wishing that things had been different or better.

Similarly, becoming too focused or driven to create a better future can result in us missing the beauty, wonder, joy and miracles that are around us right now. While there is a lot of value in knowing where we want to go in the future, it does not mean we obsess about the future and forget to really enjoy and appreciate the only thing we will ever have — this present moment.

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If you’re anything like me, you might worry like it’s a second job: if the coffee is good or bad, if we’ll get that promotion, and what diseases the future has in store for us. The unfortunate part is that this all-consuming gig doesn’t pay money—it pays in stress, unhappiness, anxiety, and inner turmoil.

It can feel almost unbearable waiting for these future outcomes to transpire. Sometimes our worries are small and manageable and pass, but sometimes worry becomes a chronic default setting. When we worry chronically, it becomes second nature to live in this revved-up state of anxiety and restlessness. Know that you’re not alone; chances are if you are breathing you are likely worrying.

Here’s how to worry less and live more:

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  • Think about worrying differently:What purpose does worry serve? Does it make problems go away? Prevent them from happening? Or make them worse?

 

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  • Allow yourself time to worry:                                                                                        Many chronic worriers feel they have no control over it. They tell themselves things such as “just don’t worry” or “don’t think about it”. This thought stopping approach rarely works. The reason — it’s a negative command and people simply don’t process these well. It forces you to think about the very thing you’re trying to avoid.

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  • Control: 
    Ask yourself: do I have control over the issue? So many of the things people worry about they have absolutely no control over yet it dominates their thinking. For example, the weather. We can’t control it but we can certainly prepare for it.

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  • Fact or fiction? 
    On a piece of paper make four columns. On the far left write the worry you’re having. In the next column identify whether it is fact or fiction and if there’s any real evidence to support your belief. Then write an alternative way of thinking and finally, think about whether the original thought was helpful or not.

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  • Be a problem solver:
    There’s a big difference between worrying and problem-solving. The former is about repeating thoughts that are unhelpful and leads to more stress and worry and gets in the way of actually enjoying life and being productive. The latter is focused on getting out of the current way of thinking and making life better. Put on your problem-solver hat and think about solutions. How might you advise a friend who has a similar concern? What steps would you take to ensure a solution? Take action now.

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  • Make friends with uncertainty:                                                                                        Feel okay about not knowing exactly how things will turn out. Accept the unpredictability of life. Can you imagine how dull life would be if we knew everything that would happen? Think of all that is right with life and embrace ambiguity.

”Things I Learned From My Mother – Be Yourself”

“Pain changes your life forever. But so does healing from it.” 

The hell of watching someone die isn’t just the actual dying part. It’s the years, months, weeks and days leading up to it.

It’s the pain of watching day by day the most important person in your life slip further and further away from you while there is nothing you can do to stop it.

You don’t lose this person in one moment. You lose them gradually throughout the whole time they are sick. As time goes on, they become less and less the person that they were before this illness took over.

I don’t know how to find even slightly pleasant words to describe what watching a parent die feels like. I don’t know how to even try to explain it without curse words and screaming.

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It’s absolutely terrifying. It’s gut-wrenching. It sends you through a whirlwind of feelings and emotions. You don’t even know who you are anymore. It takes over your life.

 

When You Grieve the Loss of Your Mom …

What I learned was my mom taught me everything by example. I became the confident, independent man I am from watching my mom. She set the precedent.

My mom taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be. She wanted me to succeed in everything I tried. She made it known that things were different when she was a young girl. She didn’t have all of the opportunities I had. It was important to her that I took full advantage of all that life had to offer me.

I learned so much from my mom. But the greatest things she ever taught me was to live. To follow my dreams. To be happy. And I am all of these things today because of her.

My mom’s most valuable life lessons were taught to me when she was dying. When you’re saying goodbye to your mom, it doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are, or how much money you have. It just sucks. But even through death, my mom continues to teach me new things.

Having to say goodbye to my mom was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. There are no words, yet you have to say something. I don’t even remember what I said. And now, it just doesn’t matter. Because now I realize that nothing had to be said.

My mom was diagnosed with kidney failure when she was forty-one years old. Now that I am twenty-six, I realize how young forty-one is. Every day I think, a little over fifteen years from now and I’ll be the age my mom was when she was given a death sentence. It scares the hell out of me.

I am also haunted by the fact of how hard it must have been on my mom. She knew she was going to die. She knew she was leaving the love of her life behind and abandoning her three kids.  I know that has to be what it feels like to say goodbye to your kids. No matter how old they are.

I remember going to the hospital and the nurse pulling us aside to tell us our mom was crying all night. I was shocked. I don’t know why. I just never stopped to think that my mom was scared. She was always my rock. She took care of all of us, always. She never felt sorry for herself and she was always so strong.

Knowing my mom had kidney-failure was one thing. Knowing my mom was scared was quite another.

My mom lingered on for many months. She was seen by many specialists at many hospitals. For a while there, we had hope. But then a last-ditch-effort trip to another world renown hospital would end all the hope and speculation. Now the goal would be to make her comfortable. To pray for peace.

Hospice came and set up shop in our family room. This was our new reality. We had visitors in and out every single day. Our lives were shattering, yet the outside world kept spinning.

Thankfully my mom didn’t suffer long. The end came fast. So fast we couldn’t all be there.  My cousins woke me up and said to come home by next flight. A nurse was taking my mom’s pulse and said it would be soon. Sometime in the next few hours, was her guess.

My mom died an hour later. With just my dad and my brother there. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know what was happening. I sat next to her for a while after she was gone. Staring at her. Willing for her to wake up. She didn’t.

A few minutes later, her friends arrived. My dad met them on the front porch as I stayed with my mom. I could hear them wailing. It was unbearable. They came inside and said their goodbyes.

My uncle and brothers made it home soon thereafter. My brothers were heartbroken that they were not there when our mom died. I was haunted that I had been there. It turns out our final good-byes did not matter. It was the life we had all shared together that did. And that could never be taken away from us.

 

Now we had to face the cruel reality that life, does indeed, go on. Without our mom. Like it or not. But we had each other and everything that our mom had instilled in us. And that’s how life went on. And continues to go on. Every damn day.

Saying goodbye is never easy. But it’s impossible to say goodbye to someone who is always going to be part of you.

”Beauty Is Always In The Eye Of The Beholder”

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”Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that’s when you’re most beautiful.”
Zoe Kravitz
Go and tell yourself that you are beautiful. And that your life is so worth living. 
Take a fair look in the mirror. Just have a look at you for a little while. Look at you as if you
were another person. Just someone you never knew. And then go tell yourself in every honesty,
that you are lovely even when you’re blue. Just go and tell yourself that you are quite ok.
And please repeat these words in every single way.
Go and tell yourself that you are beautiful.
Every minute, every hour, and every brand-new day. Please have look at you,
you as a person are ok. With all the pros and cons you’ll see.
And if you’ll fail, just do not care, and start another day.
Just take it to step by step,
by repeating it as many times as you can say. Again, again and just again. 
So many times, each day, Until the final wake-up call
that makes you finally see, ‘I am the best one in the world. At least I am, to me’

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Why do we want to be perfect? What is it, perfection? Is it a beauty? Is it having a very balanced personality, without any negative emotion like anger or sadness? Like horrific things never will occur in one’s life? Would that be perfect?

Can we please just agree that beauty is a state of mind what has nothing in common with the outer appearance of someone or something. Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. And the physical beauty itself will fade away as life goes on. When someone gets older, the inner beauty will become more and more visible. Beauty really has nothing to do with our physical appearance, but everything about the way we live and the way we maintain our relationships with the world around us.

Beauty has nothing to do with a required reaction to something nasty in your life. Your emotions are real and you have every reason to respect them and to feel them. And you have every reason to be respected in every way.  Repeat that you are beautiful until you are feeling better.

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I just want to support all people who are struggling with their bodies, struggling with their self-acceptance and self-esteem, and who are still believing the ridiculous demands of today’s society.

Just believe that only one thing is true: you are ok! And you deserve to feel beautiful. Because you are.

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“I’m Beautiful”

You are beautiful because beauty comes from within. You’re beautiful regardless of what everyone else thinks of you because it only matters what you think of yourself. You’re beautiful because you are made out of stardust and there’s nothing more beautiful than that. You’re beautiful because everything about you is beautiful its self. Your smile lights up the world, your kind heart
makes the world a better place and your mind is limitless.

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“I’m Intelligent”

You are smart because you know what truly matters in life. You are bright because you’re hopeful. You are sharp because you know when to draw the line. You are wise because you learn from your mistakes, you are always improving yourself. You take responsibility for your own actions and you are brave enough to apologize when you are wrong. You are intelligent
because you pick your battles. You are intelligent because you treat everyone as your equal.

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 “I’m Powerful”

You are stronger than you think you are. You grew up at a young age and that made you the person you are today. You know your worth and no one can take that away from you. And you fight for what you deserve, your standards and your dreams. You are powerful because you understand that real power relies on love and kindness, not in hate and violence. You are powerful because you use your voice softly. You are powerful because you know who you are and you know what you need to do so you can get where you want. You are powerful because you are unstoppable. And you are powerful because you don’t need anyone.

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“I’m Enough”

You are enough just the way you are. You don’t need to change who you are to please others. You don’t need to speak less so someone can like you more. You don’t need to change your interests or dreams to match someone else’s. The right people in life will not try to change you. They will love you for who you are and they will accept you with your flaws, imperfections, and shortcomings. You don’t need to alter your beliefs and lifestyle so you can be someone’s right match. You need to own who you are. And you need to always choose self-improvement because although you are enough, you are work in progress.

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“I’m Loved”

Whether you believe it or not, you are loved. Your parents love you even if they are not that good at showing it. Your friends adore you although sometimes you feel like they are critical of you or hard on you. But, they are like that because of how much they love you and how much they want you to succeed. Your partner loves you even if they don’t tell you or show you enough. Your coworkers enjoy your company and think that you are invaluable. Look around, because love is all around you.

It doesn’t make sense to call ourselves ugly because we don’t really see ourselves.

We don’t watch ourselves sleeping in bed, curled up and silent with chests rising and falling with our own rhythm.

We don’t see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing.

You don’t see yourself looking at someone with love and care inside of your heart.

There’s no mirror in your way when you’re laughing and smiling and happiness is leaking out of you.

You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly yourself.