”How to Release Emotions Stuck in Your Body and Let Go of the Pain”


“Whenever something bad happens, keep calm, take a few deep breaths and shift the focus to something positive.”

Someone crushed my heart pretty badly. It was one of those breakups you don’t see coming, the kind of heartbreak you never thought could happen to you. But it happened to me, and I lost myself for a while. I was in so much pain, I wanted nothing more than to get rid of it. So I did.

But the only way to heal emotional pain quickly is by running away from it. And I knew that wasn’t something I could do. One of the main messages in my breathwork teaching is to feel everything—even when it’s excruciating.

But I was so TIRED of feeling the pain. I just wanted it to disappear. We’re wired to run from pain. We want to get as far away from it as possible, whether that means pushing it away or finding a way to go numb. The problem with those approaches is that they create bigger problems, in the form of disease, anxiety, and emotional stagnation.

If you’re someone who wants to live a deeply fulfilling life, you have to learn to face your pain. I know it doesn’t sound appealing, but ignoring your pain will only make it worse over time. Only by staring it right in the face, and really dealing with it, can you find the richness, beauty, and joy that comes with true freedom. Which do you want for your life?


Why Do Emotions Get Stuck In the Body?

Any emotional energy that we don’t fully experience and process, can get trapped in the body.

  • When we talk ourselves out of feeling how we really do

    How many times have you told yourself it is “ridiculous to get upset over this!” or “not worth upsetting dad” to bring up. Those types of situations cause you to be at risk for trapping emotions. Emotions want a “voice” and if they are not acknowledged, they won’t go away.

  • When we are isolated at the time of the event

    When we are isolated while dealing with a stressful event, we are at risk for trapped emotions. I believe this is because it is human nature to find comfort in the sharing of our emotions — positive and negative. When we can’t reach out, we may be less likely to really feel them and experience them. It often feels safer to let go emotionally with someone else.

  • When we have never experienced something similar before

    Not having any coping skills for the specific event that’s bringing up negative emotions can really leave us “stuck.” If it’s the first time you are experience something, a death of a loved one for instance, you are more likely to “freeze” emotionally than you would be if you had coping skills for the situation. You would be more likely to have coping skills if you learned them during an earlier similar life event.



The Top Most Commonly Stuck Emotions

The top  emotions on my list are the ones I see most often, in most people. Now, remember, these are just the ones that I commonly find to be lodged in the body. Certain events or years of your life can create different types of emotions, and even multiples of the same ones. These are just a general list of what comes up most during my sessions with clients, and for myself! Also keep in mind, they don’t all have to get stuck! Negative emotions aren’t bad. They can only harm if you don’t let them go.

1. Anxiety

While this is a commonly described “emotion,” my experience is that there is other, suppressed emotion under it creating a feeling of anxiousness. It’s best to find what is making you feel anxious instead of using the catch-all of “anxiety” to describe what you’re experiencing.

2. Disgusted

A feeling of loathing; when good taste or moral sense is offended; a strong aversion. Disgust is a feeling that is low enough on the radar to not say anything about. It’s not like anger where you can lose your temper and it comes bellowing out. Disgust is more of an internal ruminating that one often keeps to themselves and festers over.

3. Grief-stricken

Intense emotional suffering caused by loss, disaster, misfortune, etc.; an acute sorrow and deep sadness. A universal reaction to bereavement. Also can be feeling harassed, vexed or exasperated
Grief is something that we don’t often “have time for.” There are so many things humans have the tendency to grieve over. We often need to grieve over the loss of something we never attain (a job, for example), our expectations (the actions of a friend who doesn’t meet them) and many many other things. It’s easily overlooked because we don’t see things as important enough to take the time to say “we’re really feeling that loss,” unless it’s something we think is big enough like the death of a loved one.

4. Criticized

Criticized includes being criticized by others and also negative self-talk (e.g. “Iʼm such an idiot”), blaming the self, etc.  Illnesses can be forms of self-abuse (e.g., “I don’t deserve to be healed.”)
We are masters at this! This one becomes easily stuck because we do it so often to ourselves and we are usually the last people we will give a break to. Many people are willing to forgive others more easily than themselves. In addition, many people think this is a helpful behavior/emotion because it keeps them motivated and so on.

5. Unsupported

A lack of support, help or encouragement; not provided for by another; not defended when help is needed; feeling the burden is too heavy to bear alone. This one goes back to being isolated. Feeling unsupported is scary and makes us feel like we have nowhere to turn. When we have nowhere to turn, we don’t know what to do. And when that happens, we usually find a distraction and don’t really work through the feelings and let them go.

6. Unsafe

Feeling “unsafe” in the world is one of the energies that affect us most as far as our overall wellbeing. This can be feeling unsafe physically or emotionally. Feeling unsafe in the world leads to an overactive “fight, flight, or freeze” (stress) response in the body, which can create a host of emotional and physical challenges.

7. Overwhelmed

To be overpowered in mind or emotion; extreme stress; feeling overpowered with superior force; feeling excessively burdened. This is often self-inflicted. We live in a society where we never feel we’re doing enough, fast enough, good enough. So, we take on more. And then we get overwhelmed. Also, we can tend to be overwhelmed with emotion and if we don’t want to feel that, we can bury it and it can become trapped.

8. Worthless

Of no importance or value; without excellence of character, quality or esteem; serving no purpose. So many of us have given other people permission to define our worth. We are so caught in a pattern of this that we just hang on to how we didn’t live up to someone’s expectations, or that they thought “x, y or z” about us. We hold tight to those perceptions and are scared to let go of them, sometimes because we don’t really know who we are; and sometimes because other people’s perceptions of us serve us (let us “off the hook” for things we don’t want to do, for example).

9. Helpless

Helplessness is the sensation or perception that there is nothing one can do to fix, repair, or improve a situation. This feeling is a huge fear trigger which affects the mind and body greatly.
Feeling helpless in life is so common. And, such a scary feeling. But, we often don’t know how to get out of it. We don’t take the time to change our beliefs about “nothing will make a difference,” “it’s not worth it,” and “I don’t matter.” Changing long-held beliefs is a great way to reverse feelings of helplessness.

”Beauty Is Always In The Eye Of The Beholder”


”Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that’s when you’re most beautiful.”
Zoe Kravitz
Go and tell yourself that you are beautiful. And that your life is so worth living. 
Take a fair look in the mirror. Just have a look at you for a little while. Look at you as if you
were another person. Just someone you never knew. And then go tell yourself in every honesty,
that you are lovely even when you’re blue. Just go and tell yourself that you are quite ok.
And please repeat these words in every single way.
Go and tell yourself that you are beautiful.
Every minute, every hour, and every brand-new day. Please have look at you,
you as a person are ok. With all the pros and cons you’ll see.
And if you’ll fail, just do not care, and start another day.
Just take it to step by step,
by repeating it as many times as you can say. Again, again and just again. 
So many times, each day, Until the final wake-up call
that makes you finally see, ‘I am the best one in the world. At least I am, to me’


Why do we want to be perfect? What is it, perfection? Is it a beauty? Is it having a very balanced personality, without any negative emotion like anger or sadness? Like horrific things never will occur in one’s life? Would that be perfect?

Can we please just agree that beauty is a state of mind what has nothing in common with the outer appearance of someone or something. Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. And the physical beauty itself will fade away as life goes on. When someone gets older, the inner beauty will become more and more visible. Beauty really has nothing to do with our physical appearance, but everything about the way we live and the way we maintain our relationships with the world around us.

Beauty has nothing to do with a required reaction to something nasty in your life. Your emotions are real and you have every reason to respect them and to feel them. And you have every reason to be respected in every way.  Repeat that you are beautiful until you are feeling better.


I just want to support all people who are struggling with their bodies, struggling with their self-acceptance and self-esteem, and who are still believing the ridiculous demands of today’s society.

Just believe that only one thing is true: you are ok! And you deserve to feel beautiful. Because you are.


“I’m Beautiful”

You are beautiful because beauty comes from within. You’re beautiful regardless of what everyone else thinks of you because it only matters what you think of yourself. You’re beautiful because you are made out of stardust and there’s nothing more beautiful than that. You’re beautiful because everything about you is beautiful its self. Your smile lights up the world, your kind heart
makes the world a better place and your mind is limitless.




“I’m Intelligent”

You are smart because you know what truly matters in life. You are bright because you’re hopeful. You are sharp because you know when to draw the line. You are wise because you learn from your mistakes, you are always improving yourself. You take responsibility for your own actions and you are brave enough to apologize when you are wrong. You are intelligent
because you pick your battles. You are intelligent because you treat everyone as your equal.


 “I’m Powerful”

You are stronger than you think you are. You grew up at a young age and that made you the person you are today. You know your worth and no one can take that away from you. And you fight for what you deserve, your standards and your dreams. You are powerful because you understand that real power relies on love and kindness, not in hate and violence. You are powerful because you use your voice softly. You are powerful because you know who you are and you know what you need to do so you can get where you want. You are powerful because you are unstoppable. And you are powerful because you don’t need anyone.


“I’m Enough”

You are enough just the way you are. You don’t need to change who you are to please others. You don’t need to speak less so someone can like you more. You don’t need to change your interests or dreams to match someone else’s. The right people in life will not try to change you. They will love you for who you are and they will accept you with your flaws, imperfections, and shortcomings. You don’t need to alter your beliefs and lifestyle so you can be someone’s right match. You need to own who you are. And you need to always choose self-improvement because although you are enough, you are work in progress.


“I’m Loved”

Whether you believe it or not, you are loved. Your parents love you even if they are not that good at showing it. Your friends adore you although sometimes you feel like they are critical of you or hard on you. But, they are like that because of how much they love you and how much they want you to succeed. Your partner loves you even if they don’t tell you or show you enough. Your coworkers enjoy your company and think that you are invaluable. Look around, because love is all around you.

It doesn’t make sense to call ourselves ugly because we don’t really see ourselves.

We don’t watch ourselves sleeping in bed, curled up and silent with chests rising and falling with our own rhythm.

We don’t see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing.

You don’t see yourself looking at someone with love and care inside of your heart.

There’s no mirror in your way when you’re laughing and smiling and happiness is leaking out of you.

You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly yourself.

”Peace With Mind”


”Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.”


Peace of mind is often associated with yogis, hermits or monks, sitting alone in a far off place, in an ashram, cave or monastery, praying or meditating all day long.

The truth is that peace of mind can be attained and enjoyed, even while leading a normal, ordinary life, with a job and family.

“Inner peace (or peace of mind) is a colloquialism that refers to a state of being mentally or spiritually at peace, with enough knowledge and understanding to keep oneself strong in the face of discord or stress. Being “at peace” is considered by many to be healthy and the opposite of being stressed or anxious.”

“The absence of mental stress or anxiety”.

This shows the importance of peace of mind for preventing stress and anxiety. It is actually, the antidote for stress and anxiety.

Making the mind quiet and calm prevents anxieties, worries, stress and fears, and awakens inner strength and confidence.

Peace of mind is an inner condition, and is independent of external conditions and circumstances.

When you gain this skill, and it is a skill that can be learned, you remain calm and in control of yourself and your mind, even in the midst of problems and difficult situations.


Imagine how great it would be to stay calm, focused, and undisturbed by circumstances and people!

Instead of getting anxious and fearful, instead of thinking negative thoughts and expecting the worst, instead of getting tense, unsatisfied and unhappy, you can choose to stay emotionally and mentally poised and unshaken. You can experience inner peace and happiness, as well as inner strength and confidence.


Peace of mind, which is inner peace, offers countless benefits:

  • Better concentration ability.
  • Efficiency in handling your daily affairs of life.
  • A sense of inner strength and power.
  • More patience, tolerance and tact.
  • Freedom from stress, anxieties and worries.
  • A sense of inner happiness and bliss.
  • Falling asleep easily and sleeping soundly.

When your mind is at peace, you are not affected by what people think or say about you, and there is no restless thinking. You are not swayed by events or difficulties, and maintain a state of inner poise and clear judgment in all situations.

There are various ways and techniques to gain peace, through psychological methods, affirmations, visualization, yoga or meditation. You can find many articles on this subject here.

”Mind Over Matter”


”Mind over matter is simply the use of willpower to overcome obstacles. Sometimes the one thing stopping us from achieving our goals or pushing past struggles is our mind. Our mind can be our best friend or our worst enemy”

Mind over matter is a phrase that essentially refers to one’s ability to use willpower over physical limitations. While it was originally used to explain phenomena such as Telekinesis and other Paranormal constructs, it actually has a real-life meaning as well. The mind, in of itself is capable of accomplishing infinite limitations brought on by the environment. The limitations whether they be physical or mental hinder us from reaching our full potential. Therefore, it is important for us to believe that we are nothing less than powerful in our determination and grit to succeed.


While we often think of our bodies and minds as two distinct entities, it turns out they are much more entwined than we might assume. Researchers are continually finding evidence that the brain has a distinct power to manipulate the body’s physiology. As these examples show, the mind/body connection can work in our favour or detriment, depending on our knowledge of a situation and our ability to control our thoughts.


Drying Sheets:- Judging by their ability to meditate for hours on end, to abstain from food for days, and their vows of silence, most us would agree that Tibetan Monks have better control over their minds and bodies than the average person. Still, what’s particularly amazing is some of them can control physiological processes, such as blood pressure and body temperature – feats many medical doctors find astounding.

In one of the most notable exhibits of their skills, a group of Tibetan monks allowed physicians to monitor the monk’s bodily changes as they engaged in a meditative yoga technique known as g Tum-mo. During the process, the monks were cloaked in wet, cold sheets (49 f / 9.4 c) and placed in a 40 f (4.5 c) room. In such conditions, the average person would likely experience uncontrollable shivering and would shortly suffer hypothermia. However, through deep concentration, the monks were able to generate body heat, and within minutes the researchers noticed steam rising from the sheets that were covering the monks. Within an hour, the sheets were completely dry.

Although, the display was fascinating to the doctors, for the monks it was an ordinary occurrence. In fact, new monks use g Tum-mo as a way of proving their meditative strength and hold contests to see who can dry the most sheets in one night.

The Buddhists say the heat they generate is a byproduct of the meditation since it takes energy to reach a state of an alternate reality – a place unaffected by our everyday world.


Placebo Effect:- A placebo is an inert substance or belief which produces real biological effects in humans. It’s so widely accepted as fact that a placebo variable is included in most medical tests as a way of proving if, say, a drug works on its own merits or because people “think” it works.

Curiously, researchers have discovered the placebo effect is somehow getting stronger, and some drugs that have been on the market for years, such as Prozac, are now proving less effective than placebos. Naturally, this is a major issue for big pharmaceutical companies, which has left many scrambling to conduct neurological studies in an effort to come up with new ways to safeguard their industry from ordinary sugar pills. Incidentally, Big Pharma is currently more profitable than Big Oil, so there’s quite a bit at stake.



Nocebo Effect:-  While placebos are generally associated with positive outcomes, like curing an illness or getting drunk on O’Douls and having fun (if you consider that positive), the nocebo effect produces negative results, such as a cancer patient vomiting before chemotherapy starts or someone breaking out in a rash because they thought they touched poison ivy, even though it was merely an ordinary plant.


One of the most talked about examples of the nocebo phenomenon was an incident published in “New Scientist.” According to the account, late one night an Alabama man, referred to as Vance, went to a cemetery and met up with a witch doctor who told Vance that he was going to die soon. Believing the witch doctor’s prediction, Vance soon fell ill and within a matter of weeks was emaciated and close to death. Vance was taken to the hospital but the medical doctors could find nothing wrong with him. Finally, Vance’s wife told the physician, Dr Doherty, about the encounter with the witch doctor, which gave the creative physician an idea. The next day, Dr Doherty told the couple he had tracked down the witch doctor and physically threatened him until the medicine man finally admitted he had put a lizard inside Vance that was eating him from the inside. Of course, the Doctor’s story was completely fabricated, yet he made a big show of injecting the patient with a mysterious substance and snuck in a genuine, green lizard that he pretended to extract from Vance. The next day, Vance awoke alert, hungry, and it didn’t take long before he fully recovered.

Apparently, that story was corroborated by four other medical professionals, and is often cited when explaining why VooDoo sometimes works (i.e. not because of magic, but because of the nocebo effect).


Block Out Pain:-  Jack Schwarz, a Dutch Jewish writer, also lived in horrific conditions while forced into a Nazi concentration camp during World War II. Like so many others, he was beaten, starved, and tortured beyond what most of us can comprehend. To cope with his situation, he began the practice of meditation and prayer, which he developed to the point where he could block out the pain of his torment and subsequently withstand his situation.

After his release, Schwarz continued his mind over matter practice and occasionally demonstrated his skills by putting a long sail-maker’s needle through his arm without injury. He also displayed his ability to regulate his body’s blood flow by causing the puncture hole in his arm to bleed or stop bleeding at will. Schwarz was studied by researchers at the Menninger Foundation who found that he could indeed control many of his bodily processes with only his mind. Furthermore, through an electroencephalograph, they determined his brain had different electrical activity as compared to most other test subjects. According to Schwarz, he could also see people’s auras, which allowed him to gauge their physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental conditions.


Positivity and Meditation:-  Undoubtedly it’s difficult to keep a positive attitude when you’re facing a life-threatening disease, but, based on a variety of medical studies, doing so may mean the difference between living and dying.

For example, in 1989, Dr David Spiegel of Stanford University conducted a study on 86 women with late-stage breast cancer. Half of those women received standard medical care while the other half were given weekly support sessions in addition to the standard medical care. During the sessions, the women shared their feelings, talked with other patients, and generally had a positive outlet where they could cope with their illness. At the end of the study, the women in the support group lived twice as long as those not in the group. In 1999, a similar study found that cancer patients who have feelings of helplessness and hopelessness have a lower chance of survival.

In recent years, David Seidler, writer of “The King’s Speech,” claimed to have eliminated his cancer through meditation and imagination. After battling bladder cancer for years and only two weeks away from surgery, Seidler decided to see if he could get rid of cancer through his imagination. He admittedly thought the idea was a little “woo-woo,” but by that point, he figured he had nothing to lose. So, he spent the two weeks leading up to his surgery envisioning a clean, cream-coloured, healthy bladder. When Seidler went in for his pre-surgery biopsy, the doctor was stunned to find a distinct lack of cancer – he even sent the biopsy to four different labs for testing. While Seidler believes his visualization were behind cancer’s disappearance, his doctor labelled it a “spontaneous remission.”


”Meditative Mindfulness: Clear Your Mind ”


”Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”


Did you know that the simple act of freeing your mind from distractions can greatly enhance your health, creative energy, and productivity? A clear mind is the easiest path to greater accomplishments in life – both personal and professional.

Just as a clean environment, free from clutter, removes disorder and promotes harmony, a clear mind provides the same benefits, by replacing the chaos of anxious thoughts with lucidity, peace and greater focus.

Clearing the mind instantly soothes emotions, releases negativity and heals the effects of stress. It breaks down subconscious mental barriers that can sabotage goals and dreams, allowing you to replace them with new, empowered thought processes.


A free mind is the mental, emotional, and spiritual equivalent of a clean slate. Once you have cleared the pallet; you determine where your thoughts and energy are redirected. You gain control of the mental processes that define your experiences in life.

Imagine yourself being in full control of your destiny, by simply knowing how to clear your mind and redirect your thought processes at any given moment.

Meditation is the best tool for this purpose. Your mind will be free, and you will experience the full range of benefits that clarity provides.

”Mind And Philosophy” Solipsism

“I obviously invented Solipsism”
― Dean Cavanagh


Solipsism is sometimes expressed as the view that “I am the only mind which exists,” or “My mental states are the only mental states.” However, the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust might truly come to believe in either of these propositions without thereby being a solipsist. Solipsism is, therefore, more properly regarded as the doctrine that, in principle, “existence” means for me my existence and that of my mental states. Existence is everything that I experience — physical objects, other people, events, and processes — anything that would commonly be regarded as a constituent of the space and time in which I coexist with others and is necessarily construed by me as part of the content of my consciousness. For the solipsist, it is not merely the case that he believes that his thoughts, experiences, and emotions are, as a matter of contingent fact, the only thoughts, experiences, and emotions. Rather, the solipsist can attach no meaning to the supposition that there could be thoughts, experiences, and emotions other than his own. In short, the true solipsist understands the word “pain,” for example, to mean “my pain.” He cannot accordingly conceive how this word is to be applied in any sense other than this exclusively egocentric one.

Subjective Reality vs. Solipsism:-


I want to make a distinction between subjective reality and solipsism since many readers still confuse the two. I think the best way to explain the difference is by way of a simple analogy: lucid dreaming.

Imagine you’re having a lucid dream. This means you’re lying in bed having a dream, and while still within the dream world, you become conscious and aware that you’re dreaming. In the dream, you might be playing some role other than your real-life persona, but you know the real you is lying in bed asleep, and that your dream persona is just a character you can control.

Even while you’re lucid, you probably can’t control everything, nor would you necessarily want to, but the knowledge that you’re dreaming gives you a fascinating new perspective on your in-dream experience. You can interact with the dream reality on a whole new level. I’d say the main difference is that you become virtually fearless since you know that nothing in the dream world can hurt the real you — the dreamer who’s having the dream. It will still feel scary to fall off a building, and a hard landing may still trigger the sensation of real pain, but you’ll be a lot more willing to try interesting things just for the experience.

Subjective reality = lucid dreaming while awake


Subjective reality is basically lucid dreaming while awake. It’s not really a belief — it would be more accurate to say that it’s a perspective.

Subjective reality is the perspective that recognizes that you are in fact the dreamer and that everything you perceive in the dream world, including your dream body and the other dream characters and objects, is taking place within your larger consciousness. When you’re fully lucid, you know that the dream character you control isn’t the real you — the real you is asleep on a bed somewhere, having the dream. Your dream body is merely your first-person interface to the dream world, a construct of consciousness. If your dream body gets hurt, you may still feel the pain. If it experiences pleasure, you may feel the pleasure. If something in the dream startles you, you may feel that emotional reaction. But when that dream body dies, the real you lying in bed remains alive, and you simply wake up.

The non-dream version of subjective reality, the one I’ve described in my previous writing on the topic, is basically the same concept of having a lucid dream, except that you apply it to waking physical reality instead of your nighttime dreams. In effect you become lucid while physically awake, recognizing that there’s another layer of dreaming and that this physical reality is also fully contained within a larger consciousness, and that outer consciousness is, in fact, the real you. Your physical body-mind is merely your first-person interface to the dream world.

Once you reach this level of lucidity, everything changes. You’re still experiencing reality — it doesn’t simply stop — but because you recognize it as a dream, you’re able to interact with it on a whole new level. You will still experience pleasure, pain, and fear as you react automatically to in-dream events, but because you know you’re really the outside dreamer who cannot be truly harmed by anything within the dream, you begin to relate to life from a state of inherent fearlessness.

When people experience their first lucid nighttime dream, it’s normally a very exciting experience. I can describe the feeling as one of exhilaration… like, “Wow! I’m dreaming. This is absolutely amazing.” Once you get a grasp on that perspective, it’s such a wonderful feeling you never want to let it go.

When you have a seemingly negative experience while lucid dreaming, like you, get beat up by another dream character, on one level you may still experience some fear or other negative emotions. But on another level, your knowing that it’s all a dream adds an element of enthusiasm and fun to everything. It’s like playing a video game. In a very immersive game, when something bad happens to your character, it can be frustrating, but it’s still fun. This is the perspective I described in The Joy of Sadness. Subjective reality is a perspective that allows you to tap into the joy of every negative emotion.

Solipsism = degenerate, partial lucidity


Solipsism, like subjective reality, also recognizes the dream nature of reality. However, solipsism assumes that your dream character (aka your in-dream ego) is, in fact, the real you and is somehow creating the other characters as a projection of its own ego. Solipsism doesn’t recognize the existence of the outer dreamer in which the whole experience is taking place. It assumes everything is emanating from the dream ego and that there is no outer dreamer.

This perspective regards your dream character as real and conscious, but the other dream characters are just projections and are not conscious of themselves. Subjective reality, on the other hand, sees ALL the dream characters (including yours) as equal projections of the outer dreamer, and no character is more or less valid or conscious than any other character; they’re all just projections of a larger consciousness.

Imagine you’re playing a video game where you control a particular character who can move around within the game world. That character is your avatar. Solipsism is the perspective that says your avatar is the only thing in the game that’s real, and the whole simulation is somehow a product of your avatar’s mind or ego.

Maybe you can find some value in the perspective of solipsism, but I don’t find it particularly useful. To me, it seems objectively unprovable and subjectively disempowering. Even so, I tried holding it for a while, but it just didn’t feel right to me.

Subjective reality filtered through an objective lens is not subjective reality


When people tell me they’re concerned that seeing the world through the lens of subjective reality will make them feel lonely or depressed, I know they’re really talking about solipsism. Solipsism is basically what you get when you try to interpret subjective reality through an objective lens. If you filter reality through the objective lens and then pass the result of that filtering through the subjective lens, you end up with essentially nothing. It’s like taking the output of your eyes and then running it through your ears. What happens when you try to listen to blue? You get nothingness, the null set.

If you wish to grasp the perspective of subjective reality, you have to put down the objective lens first. You can run both filters in parallel, but if you try to run them sequentially, you’ll never get it. I know this isn’t easy to do, and I completely sympathize with those who find this a frustrating endeavor. Imagine if you were born deaf and then suddenly gained your hearing after decades of filtering reality through your visual sense. It might take a lot of practice before you could successfully rely on your hearing in parallel with your vision.

What helped me most through this process was that I was an experienced lucid dreamer for years before I began to explore the perspective of subjective reality. I already had the experience of distinguishing between non-lucid (objective perspective) dreams vs. lucid (subjective perspective) dreams. I think that gave me a major head start in being able to apply these same perspectives to physical reality. If you’ve never experienced lucid dreaming or astral projection, I imagine it would be much harder to understand subjective reality. When the objective perspective is all you’ve ever known, it’s hard to even conceive of other, independent perceptual filters. It’s like trying to explain hearing to a deaf person. How can you explain sound in terms of sight, smell, etc? But that’s essentially what I’m trying to do when I write about subjective reality through an objective medium. The people that are able to grasp it easily are usually those who’ve already had some experience with it. For everyone else, the best I can do is provide a pointer to the experience, but my words can never adequately describe the real experience.

The only conscious being in the universe?


I sometimes stumble upon people writing on their blogs, “Steve believes in subjective reality. He thinks he’s the only conscious being in the universe.” That’s false on two levels. First, it assumes that I equate my identity with subjective reality, meaning that I don’t also perceive reality through the objective lens. In fact, I rely on both lenses just as I rely on both my eyesight and hearing. The subjective perspective runs in parallel to the objective one. It’s like playing a video game — you know you’re playing a game, but you simultaneously perceive the game world through the eyes of your in-game avatar, so the game is experienced both subjectively and objectively. At any given time, you may temporarily focus on one perspective more than another, just as you may focus on your hearing more than your eyesight under certain conditions. But at no time do you ever lose access to other perspectives or senses.

Secondly, such statements confuse subjective reality with solipsism. While solipsism is a distinct perspective from subjective reality, personally I don’t find solipsism very practical, accurate, or empowering. To say that I believe this Steve persona is the only conscious being in the universe is simply untrue. I don’t perceive consciousness as being centered within my ego.

Hopefully, you can see that solipsism is not remotely the same thing as the subjective reality perspective I’m describing. Subjective reality is lucidity, but solipsism keeps you trapped in the dream world by making the assumption that your dream ego is somehow the real you. Consequently, I consider solipsism to be a degenerate, partial lucidity.

I notice a lot of people these days try to utilize the Law of Attraction while harboring a perspective that’s pretty close to solipsism. They hold a semi-objective view of the world, but they assume their creative power lies within their individual ego. Their results are often dismal. Then you get the hard-core objectivists attacking such people as loons. Oh well.

Subjective reality and creativity


Some people fear that perceiving physical reality through the subjective lens will somehow mess up their lives or make them do stupid things. I suspect such people have never had a lucid dream. For me, the adoption of the subjective lens was like gaining a new physical sense. Imagine being deaf your whole life and then gradually learning to hear. The process can be confusing at first, but it isn’t going to cost you your eyesight, and it certainly won’t switch off your common sense. If you can make sense of the new perceptual input coming through, it’s a very empowering and amazing experience.

If you can pull it off, I think you’ll find the addition of the subjective viewpoint to be very empowering, much like gaining a new physical sense. Eyesight, hearing, and other physical senses are perceptive filters, but they’re also creative ones. Similarly, the subjective perspective can greatly enhance your creative ability. Imagine cooking a meal without your sense of smell or writing a play without being able to hear. Sure, you could do it, but the output will probably be bland and mono-dimensional. The perspective of subjective reality adds a certain spiciness to life, both in terms of perception and creation. By gaining a new input channel, you also gain new output channels.

When you’re having a dream and you become lucid, your ability to make the dream world “better” increases dramatically. I find that when I’m lucid dreaming, I can do a lot more, but I still have limits. The empowering perspective of lucidity gives me access to new abilities I wouldn’t otherwise possess, but I still have to practice in order to build skill. The dream doesn’t automatically switch to full “God mode.” I’ve been lucid dreaming since 1994, and there are still many things I can’t do very well. Overall the lucid perspective is very empowering, but it’s still fun and interesting at times to pay attention to the objective perspective too.

Accuracy vs. popularity

The main issue with the subjective reality perspective is that it’s not very common or popular. That doesn’t make it invalid, but it does mean that if you choose to pursue it, you’re likely to encounter people who think it’s invalid because they’ve never experienced it… or they’ve experienced something like solipsism and assume you’re on a similar degenerate path. If you live in a world where most people are deaf, and you gradually begin to hear sounds, how will you explain your new perceptions to others? Good luck! They’ll probably think you’re daft. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try — I’m obviously willing to make the attempt — but don’t be surprised when you witness some resistance from the other dream characters. You’ll have to ask yourself which is more important to you: accuracy or popularity.

”Be The Change You Want”


”Gandhi, the man who inspired human rights movements worldwide all by dramatically living the simple nonviolent life he preached, once said: “you must be the change you want to see in this world”. We now see this quote everywhere; at churches, yoga centers, political rallies, on workshop flyers, and bumper stickers. But what does “be the change” mean? To be the change means to want, choose and commit your actions to do the right thing.”


In order to do something, you have to want it. If you want something, you’ll endure all the struggles and pain that come with it. You are determined to reach your goal. A change can only happen if you want to see it happen, and the only a change could happen is if you put your effort into it. The quote “if it’s to be, it’s up to me”, explains to us that too many people think that others such as leaders are supposed to be the change. It’s obvious that nothing is going to happen without you. You can choose to make a change or not. To take action or just sit there. But you know, at the end of the day, the choice was and is yours.

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”

Secondly, choosing is a decision. There are hundreds of students in the school that we don’t know. And maybe one of them is sick of everything. They can’t put up with life anymore. They don’t see the happiness. They don’t feel the love. But you could change that. If you see someone sitting alone at lunch, why not invite them to sit at your table? Everyone is talking about it, reading about it, thinking about it, but they are not doing it. They don’t understand that their actions will only happen by their choice. Gandhi said, “whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it”. This quote encourages me to do the right thing no matter what. To me, this means that I won’t always get an award for every good deed I do, but I should do it just because it is the right thing to do. Our decisions need to be made there and then, and we have to commit our actions to create a change we want to see.

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

6a00d8341c500653ef019b019de1f1970c-800wiNext, committing is like a contract with yourself- to do whatever it takes to reach your goal. A commitment is the action step, the push to get you through the difficult times. No matter what you decide to do, you have to commit yourself to it. Even if it is inviting someone else to sit with you at lunch. When you see a person sitting alone at lunch, you want to make their experience at lunch positive. Therefore, you choose to invite them to sit with you at lunch. But then all these thoughts come rushing into your head, and when you look around yourself, everyone seems to be glaring at you in a weird and awkward way. Just for a stupid reason like that, you decide not to invite the student to sit with you. That is why you need commitment. So you could tell yourself “this is what I want to see happen”. You will need to put all your effort and thought into making it happen, but you can do it. If you want it bad enough, you will not allow anyone to get in your way. That is what commitment means; to give all your effort and thought into making a change you want to see happen, take place. 
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” 

Lastly, “to be the change you want to see in the world” means to notice what is happening around is us and to take powerful, solid steps towards constructing the life and world of our imaginations. Seeing the change you want to happen will take much of your effort of wanting, choosing, and committing your actions to stand for what is right.

Be That Change This Year And Wish You All A Happy New Year:)