“When You Love You Wish To Do Things For, You Wish To Sacrifice For”

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“Sacrificing your happiness for the happiness of the one you love is by far the truest type of love.” 
 Selfsacrifice is giving up something you want or something you desire for the greater good or to help others. Sacrifices are typically called for when values conflict—two valuable things cannot both be had and one must be given up for the sake of the other.

For something to count as a case of self-sacrifice:

  • what is sacrificed must constitute, benefit, or matter to the self in some stronger sense than that for the sake of whom/which it is sacrificed; and,
  • the sacrifice must be made for the sake of someone or something else.

There is some intentional ambiguity in this definition, because ‘constitute,’ ‘benefit,’ and ‘matter to’ are three different possibilities. Something can be said to constitute someone if it is their self or is part of what is their self. A sacrifice is of something that constitutes the self if someone sacrifices their life, or, for instance, their memory, their limbs or organs, their dignity, their identity, their integrity, or their basic capacities. Something benefits someone if it is something that is in their narrowly understood self-interest to have or keep. For instance, someone who gives up an opportunity for a job interview, or their resources, or their physical comfort, is ordinarily understood to be sacrificing something beneficial to them as an individual. Something matters to someone if it is something that is important to them, something that they care about, that they value, or love, or are committed to. If people can have an obligation to make a certain self-sacrifice, they might be obligated to sacrifice something that matters to them; they might even be obligated to sacrifice that which is more important to them than anything else.

Living for other people is also known as being a people pleaser. This is the art of dedicating all of your time and commitment to everyone around you, but you. The art of making sure that all are fine, but yourself. Society has influenced us, generous people, to condition us to think that the signs of people pleasing are inevitable because we are kind.
Just because you are a nice person does not mean you have to put everyone before yourself. Being selfish with your energy does not take away from being a kind person.
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 Sacrifice for someone you love:-
“A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.” Oscar Wilde
Love is full of compromises and sacrifices. The need for sacrifices and compromises is often mentioned in discussions of romantic relationships. … To sacrifice is to give up something precious in order to gain or maintain something, such as a valuable relationship or some other worthy cause.

The need for sacrifices and compromises as I said is often mentioned in discussions of romantic relationships. Are the two the same and if not, which of the two is most needed in romantic relationships?  Love is frequently described as involving sacrifices and resisting compromises. In reality, the situation is typically the opposite-relationships require fewer sacrifices and more compromises.

To compromise is to give up the pursuit of a better prospect in order not to risk an existing situation, even if it is perceived to be somewhat worse than the prospect that is relinquished. Although the prospect might be better and even considered feasible, the person decides not to pursue it.

The realm of sacrifice is in the actual realm; the realm of compromise is in the possible and imaginary realm. Sacrifice entails actual deeds and losses. One cannot sacrifice in one’s mind what one does not have in reality. Compromise typically entails inaction and possible losses, which are constantly reconsidered in our minds.

So, here are signs you live for everyone but yourself:

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You try so hard to make everyone around you happy:-

Your biggest worries are if you’ll offend or harm someone doing something that makes you happy and if you are currently doing right by everyone if your life. You constantly tiptoe around everyone you love because you don’t want to do anything to make them not love you or love you less.

The most weight you carry comes from the burden of trying to please everyone around you but yourself. You are not doing most of the things that would make you happy because friends or family members have expressed their feelings about it. You are scared you’ll lose people if you start to focus on yourself. You are scared that if you do something that you have always wanted to do, you won’t be loved.

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You get so upset if you aren’t able to make someone happy:-

Not like “upset” but you really can’t let the fact that you might’ve hurt someone goes. Now you are having to go out of your way to remind them that you aren’t a bad person and you hope they can forgive you. There is nothing more disappointing than feeling like you’ve unintentionally hurt someone. You somehow find the ability to blame yourself but you forget that their happiness is out of your control.

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You say sorry for literally everything:-

Apologizing for everything, even for saying sorry so much, is probably your biggest downfall. In actuality, your apologetic comments are telling others that you are sorry for being who you are. You say sorry so much because you don’t know any other way that could show them how you feel about yourself without making the situation uncomfortable.

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Your decisions revolve around everyone but you:-

This is a bit more obvious, but it still happens all the time. You stop doing, saying, or feeling certain ways around the people you love because they have brought it to your attention that it makes them uncomfortable. You cancel plans to fit in other people’s schedules into yours.

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You always feel like a terrible person for saying “no”:-

And here it is. The one word that you are most afraid to say because again, you want everyone but yourself to be happy.

You don’t want to leave your room but your friend asked you to go out to dinner and you can’t say no. You love to grocery shop alone but your roommate asks if she/he can come with and you can’t say no. You want to study in the library alone but your friend wants to be with you studying and you can’t say no.

Although you can’t say no, you sacrifice the wanting to be comfortable and at ease for the benefit of others. Saying no would have made you happy and would have felt much better but because you sacrifice your happiness for others, you just can’t say it.

None of these 5 things will ever take away from you being a generous person. It is the time that you stop living for others and start living for yourself. Stop apologizing for being who you are, for being honest, and for being vulnerable.

You are who you are, and the only thing that should make you worry about that is the people you keep in your life that make you feel like you have to apologize for who you are. At some point, you are going to have to realize that it’s easier to make yourself happy rather than everyone around you.

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”A Father’s Tears And Fears Are Unseen”

 

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A father’s tears and fears are unseen, his love is unexpressed, but his care and protection remain as a pillar of strength throughout our lives.

The elders are always there to look after the younger members. The strong are always there to help the weak. We’ve often seen the old man placing a hand on the sunken shoulders of the disappointed young man – who is out of luck and has fallen on bad times – pats him on the cheek, and says,

(Don’t worry son…I’m there for you)

Reassured by the old man, the young man gets a new zest for life and is happy to face the world again.

So we care a lot about our families – their needs, wants, and aspirations.

Nowhere else in the world will you find a father worried day and night about how he will be able to fund his child’s higher education. Even Parents are often not appreciated enough, and even at times, taken for granted. However, a parent’s love for their child often knows no boundaries.

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Dad- You are our pillar of hope, you have held this family together, we are happy to be your children:-

Dad is a parent whose existence is not less important to a mother.

Although the father was never given birth or breastfeed their children thanks to the struggle and hard work in supporting the family is an extraordinary devotion that we must respect. During this time father is always responsible for the needs of children and their families. He never bothered himself, he felt no fatigue, he opposed the scorching sun and pouring rain he brushed in order to provide for the family and the kids loved.

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Father always protects his family and his children from dangerous dangers. In addition, the father also always give wise advice to his children, always give direction so that his children do not get lost. Dad always gives all the best for the people he loves. Father always tries to obey everything, his kids want. For him the child is the most precious treasure in the world, the happiness of the child is the top priority for him, he is the one who most wants to see his children happy and successful. His child’s happiness is happiness for him while the child’s sorrow is a pain for him. So great was the struggle and sacrifice of a father who had been given to his family and children. But sometimes many children are actually even denied him as if they forgot all the service and sacrifice of their children.
A father willingly hurt in order to protect and give the best for his son. A father is willing to sacrifice his time only for the child. Father willingly set aside his own interests for the sake of the child.

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Companions when we mention the one that is service and sacrifice that has been made by a father then it will not be endless. This will awaken or reminds us all of the sacrifices that have been a father to give to children and their families. where the first sacrifice is seen that when he was willing to hurt to get the balloon boy in the tree. The pain he felt was meaningless compared to the smile of the child’s happiness.

Howard, Ghislaine, b.1953; The Washing of the Feet

Parents have unconditional love for kids. With old age, parents become our kids and need love and care. Remember, a parent never retires. Maybe their words of wisdom don’t hold relevance in today’s world, but the experience is the best teacher. After all, sacrifices if a parent doesn’t even get love and respect, imagine the trauma they’ll suffer. The world is becoming smaller and we need to move places to grow professionally. We don’t need to drag our parents in their old age everywhere. Just genuine love and being there when they need us is more than sufficient for them to feel proud of their upbringing.

Remember, Parents, strive to make kid’s lives better before they come in this world and continue to do that till their last breath. The sacrifices they make for their children are innumerable.

 

” Life, Love & Sacrifice”

”Life is a song – sing it. Life is a game – play it. Life is a challenge – meet it. Life is a dream – realize it. Life is a sacrifice – offer it. Life is love – enjoy it.”

Sai Baba

Your spouse comes home from work and excitedly tells you that she just was offered a promotion—in another state. Do you quit your job and move away from your family to an unknown city so that she can pursue her career ambitions? Should you?

Close relationships require sacrifice. In fact, many people include sacrificing in the very definition of what it means to truly love another person—and indeed, research has shown that couples are happier and more likely to remain in their relationships if the partners are willing to sacrifice for each other. Sometimes that sacrifice can be life-changing, such as deciding to move to a different state in order to be with your partner; other times it might be something small and seemingly mundane, such as seeing an action movie instead of the comedy you would have chosen.

Although sacrifice may be inevitable, when the time comes to do it, it’s not always easy. I often find myself weighing my need to be true to myself—why should I be the one giving up what I want?—against my desire to be a good partner and do what it takes to make my relationship work—if this is important to him, I should be supportive.

Sacrifice also raises questions of power: If you are happy to sacrifice early in the relationship and your partner isn’t reciprocating, you may find yourself in a situation where you are the one who is always expected to give up and give in. Over time this imbalanced pattern of sacrifice may lead to an imbalance of power in your relationship—a recipe for long-term unhappiness and resentment.

I offer seven questions you may want to ask yourself when deciding whether or not a sacrifice is worth it.

”One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.”

Joan of Arc

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  • How committed are you? Is this the person you plan to spend forever with, or do you still harbor reservations? Commitment may be one of the most important precursors to sacrifice. In order for a big sacrifice to be worth it, you should make sure that you are invested in the relationship and confident about your future together. Nothing is certain, of course, but a sacrifice becomes much more palatable when it helps bring you closer to the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life.
  • Would your partner do the same for you? Sacrifice is two-sided: While you are deciding whether or not to move across the country to let your spouse take his promotion, your spouse must decide whether or not to sacrifice her promotion in order to let you keep your job. So as you debate whether or not to make a sacrifice,   it’s important to question whether your partner has shown the same degree of commitment and is now going through the same thought process. Has your partner been willing to sacrifice for you in the past, or expressed his willingness to sacrifice in the future? In the current situation, are you working together to figure out what is best, or does your partner simply expect you to change your life to accommodate her? If your partner assumes that you are the one who must choose to sacrifice, without assuming any of the same responsibility on her end, think twice.
  • Does one of you want it more? When a situation requires sacrifice from you or your partner, the two of you may not be equally invested in the outcome. Perhaps your partner really wants to attend her family reunion, and although you don’t relish missing your work event, you know your co-workers will understand, and the family reunion is a one-time thing. As you navigate the situation, make sure you are both clear about your own desires and priorities.
  • Does your partner know it’s a sacrifice? There is no need to rub your potential sacrifice in your partner’s face or use it against them, but if your partner isn’t aware that you consider your actions to be a sacrifice, he or she won’t be able to appreciate your selflessness. In addition, by not realizing that you are incurring a cost for the sake of the relationship, your partner might not understand when you want her to return the favor the next time a sacrifice is called for. Finally, it is important to know if your partner disagrees with you and does not see your actions as a sacrifice. Has your partner expressed thanks for your willingness to sacrifice? If you haven’t received a “thank you,” your partner may be taking you for granted.
  • Is there a better solution? Rather than simply trying to pick through the choices at hand, you should be working with your partner to see if there is a solution that doesn’t require much of a sacrifice from either of you. If your partner wants you to go on a tropical vacation and you really want to take in the architecture of ancient cities, perhaps a little research will uncover a place where you can do both. This isn’t always an option, of course, but even in situations in which there is no clear compromise, there may be a way to reduce the impact of the sacrifice.
  • Can you negotiate? Although close relationships require that you give when giving is needed, it doesn’t mean you and your partner can’t make an arrangement that suits both of you. For example, you can work it out so that you eat at the restaurant you want, and go to the movie your partner wants to see. This may even work for the bigger sacrifices. You could make the move to the new city, but agree that there will be money set aside in a travel budget so that you can fly home to visit your family some number of times a year.
  • What’s your motivation? In many respects, this is the most important question you need to ask yourself. Research shows that people engage in sacrifice for many different reasons, and not all of them lead to happily ever after.

Are you moving cross-country to make your partner happy and keep your relationship going—or are you simply trying to avoid conflict? Sacrifices motivated by avoidance can undermine happiness and satisfaction in a relationship. If you sacrifice to avoid conflict, you might think, Well, I might feel bad, but at least we won’t fight and our relationship won’t suffer. It turns out that is not the case: Recent research shows that when people believe their partner sacrificed for what psychology calls “avoidance-motivated” reasons, they feel less satisfied with the relationship.

There is an alternative: When you sacrifice to make your partner happy, that can potentially increase trust and happiness. People who sacrifice for “approach-motivated” reasons—for long-term collective gain as a couple or to help fulfill your partner’s dreams—tend to be happier and have more satisfying relationships.

Although sacrificing to make a partner happy can be a good thing, it may be trouble if you find yourself constantly sacrificing out of a desire to be the “good” partner and satisfy your partner at the cost of your own happiness. People who consistently prioritize other’s needs above their own—a situation is known as “unmitigated communion”—can pay a cost in self-esteem and mental health over the long run. Sacrifice is a hallmark of a close relationship, but it should not lead to neglecting your own needs.

Along similar lines, you should ask yourself whether your sacrifice was motivated by a desire to help your partner—or to hold the sacrifice over your partner’s head. The genuine helping is healthy, but using sacrifice as a bargaining chip in your relationship may lead to resentment from your partner.

In addition, although there is nothing wrong with negotiating with your partner, choosing to make a sacrifice and then silently expecting your partner to take the fall the next time may mean disappointment for both of you. In close relationships, people typically hold mutual expectations—they believe their partner will help them when they need it and sacrifice without expecting to be paid back in kind.

In fact, studies show that people can become upset when a close partner does try to pay them back in kind. So your partner may be disheartened to learn that you sacrificed only to ensure that she would have to sacrifice for you—perhaps because it makes your romantic relationship feel like a series of economic transactions.

Relationships require sacrifice, but we shouldn’t give up or give in without thinking it through. It is important to consider the pros and cons, have clear communication with your partner, ask the tough questions, and make sure you are sacrificing for the right reasons. The right kind of sacrifice can bring people together, but sacrificing for the wrong reasons may be worse than no sacrifice at all.